Chocalot Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Okay so ive recently moved in with 2 other flat mates who are my best friends. They have recently also told me that they are uncomfortable with hearing me have sex because of thin walls. I have tried to be considerate by putting on music when having sex and we dont moan load at all or anything because were aware they may hear. Yet they still complain, particularly about the squeaking bed. They also then complain that the music is too loud. I have looked and it seems like it is the mattress that is noisy therefore all i can do is replace it, and it will probably take my landlord months to replace it because he is terrible. I dont know what else i can do apart from stop having sex which is not an option. They also consider 10pm too late to be hearing such things and have now given me a time limit. I dont know how to reply to them or what to say or do. This is my flat as much as it is theirs and i want to feel comfortable in my own place too. It doesnt help that i was given the smallest room, so there is absolutely no floor room to have it. Any advice? I have tried to be considerate as much as i can. I may let the odd moan out, but i have agreed to be completely silent. Also the sex is only twice a week probably for no longer than 15 mins at a time. Link to comment
j.man Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Have sex when they're not around, have him sit on the floor with you on top, do it bent over something, get a new mattress, get a wrench / screwdriver and tighten up your bed frame. I don't know. Lots of solutions. I'd imagine your roommates find you annoying in other regards and the noise pollution is something readily identifiable they can pick a battle over. Link to comment
rosephase Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Wow, I would start looking for a new place. If I can't have sex twice a week in my place then it isn't really my home. These are your best friends? How long have you been living together? Does the person you are having sex with have a place you can go to? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Can you go to your bf's place? True they have to live there as well so there needs to be some considerateness to both of them. Tell them your bf is helping you clean your room and hang some pictures. They also consider 10pm too late to be hearing such things and have now given me a time limit. ] Link to comment
Chocalot Posted September 22, 2016 Author Share Posted September 22, 2016 Wow, I would start looking for a new place. If I can't have sex twice a week in my place then it isn't really my home. These are your best friends? How long have you been living together? Does the person you are having sex with have a place you can go to? We've been living together for 2 years but we've recently moved to a smaller house. And no he lives with his parents so that can't work. Link to comment
Chocalot Posted September 22, 2016 Author Share Posted September 22, 2016 Can you go to your bf's place? True they have to live there as well so there needs to be some considerateness to both of them. Tell them your bf is helping you clean your room and hang some pictures. ] The problem I have is I'm trying to be as considerate as I can be. I live in the smallest room in the house and there's no where else to do it. We put music on, and we don't moan or make noises which I normally like to do. The mattress is squeaky and I can't do anything about it as the landlord will take months to replace it. 😂😂😂 Link to comment
DancingFool Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 If you were going at it at 3am, I could understand how they might be unhappy as it would wake them up in the middle of the night, but as it is.....sorry they need to get over themselves...... Anyway, you can use the floor is the mattress is that noisy - get creative. Other than that maybe use times when they are not home to reduce conflict. Honestly, I'd be telling them to go get some themselves. Sounds more like jealousy than legitimate complaints. Link to comment
SkellyWoozle Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Why does your landlord need to be the one to replace it? Why can't you?! Easiest option? Find somewhere else to live. You all have to be considerate but if it's going to be such an issue then surely your own place, in the middle of a field would be best. Then you can hump away to your hearts content. I hate to say it, but as Jman mentioned... maybe this is just one issue that annoys them about you they can bring up as justifiable. Just a thought..... Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Yes there is. His place, his car, motels, whatever. Is he too cheap to spring for that? Would he rather embarrass you and jeopardize your tenancy? Hopefully they will ask you to leave so your bf lets you move in with him. Don't you have any self-respect? Besides the rude noises do they like some strange male hanging around, using their bathroom etc? It's foolish to aggravate the two people you live with so he can get off for free, no? The mattress is squeaky and I can't do anything about it as the landlord will take months to replace it. 😂😂😂 Link to comment
Hermes Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Heh heh Wiseman. Your gif. Sure beats therapy any day! LOL. Yeh. Can you feel the FORCE!! L Link to comment
SkellyWoozle Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Heh heh Wiseman. Your gif. Sure beats therapy any day! LOL. They make me smile, for sure Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Haha wiseman, that would be a lot of picture hanging! Side note, I've never heard of a landlord being responsible for replacing beds. It's that a regional thing? Futons are inexpensive, don't take a lot of room, and it could free up space in your little room since it doubles as a couch. Maybe that's an idea until you get your own place- plus you can use it for a spare if you move and get a bed. When I lived with roommates, I figured them being loud sometimes was just part of the deal. I don't know what to tell you as I have a suspicion jman may be right and this is just the thing they feel they can comment on. It's peanuts in the scheme of living with friends. Link to comment
gypsybird87 Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Nevermind the roommates- Am I the only one who sees a problem with the sex lasting "no longer than 15 minutes"? That hardly seems worth all this drama. Link to comment
Chocalot Posted September 22, 2016 Author Share Posted September 22, 2016 Nevermind the roommates- Am I the only one who sees a problem with the sex lasting "no longer than 15 minutes"? That hardly seems worth all this drama. Exactly, this plus music plus no moaning, i dont understand how much more considerate i can be. is 15 mins short? im not including fore play time in that btw lol Link to comment
SkellyWoozle Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Nevermind the roommates- Am I the only one who sees a problem with the sex lasting "no longer than 15 minutes"? That hardly seems worth all this drama. I was being polite..... Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Get out of the house to have sex! i dont understand how much more considerate i can be. Link to comment
Hermes Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 I think fifteen minutes would qualify as a "quickie"...yeh. Link to comment
Chocalot Posted September 22, 2016 Author Share Posted September 22, 2016 get out of the house to have sex! Its my house as much as it is theirs! im not planning on paying twice a week for a motel thats just ridiculous. Its nice having it in the comfort of my own space. Link to comment
Chocalot Posted September 22, 2016 Author Share Posted September 22, 2016 I think fifteen minutes would qualify as a "quickie"...yeh. even minus the foreplay? how long is normal for you? lol Link to comment
SkellyWoozle Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 I think fifteen minutes would qualify as a "quickie"...yeh. I'm not sure I could be bothered getting undressed for less than 20... Link to comment
Hermes Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 Please don't tell us you are reduced to the "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" ! In and out quick, never mind warming up the engine.... Link to comment
Hermes Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 "how long is normal for you? lol" That would be telling. heh heh. But SOME foreplay would be a necessity, surely. Link to comment
Chocalot Posted September 22, 2016 Author Share Posted September 22, 2016 sorry i meant 15 minutes is how roughly how long the deed takes without foreplay. Obviously probably another 15 mins added to warm up the engine but thats not noisy so im not including it as part of the issue i originally bought up LOL. Link to comment
SkellyWoozle Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 What is normal? Depends on three things usually: 1. Opportunity 2. Time 3. How you're feeling at the time. Sometimes you just want to grab you're SO and sh@g the cr@p out of them and it's all over in about 15 minutes! Sometimes you want to seduce/be seduced and it lasts for well, as long as you want it to or until...well, it's all over. Then you start again or fall asleep... or more's the point, HE falls asleep ! There is no limit. Dare I say it, for most, as you get older and you've been with someone a long time, you learn to know each other intimately, what each other likes (doesn't like, even) and work on that. Hope that helps X Link to comment
Hermes Posted September 22, 2016 Share Posted September 22, 2016 You got it, Skelly! But in OP's case the 15 minutes is the norm, in order not to overly disturb the flatmates...... Link to comment
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