My break up story. Time for NC?

[Beatrixx]

My ex boyfriend and I are both 27 years old. He broke up with me 4 days ago because he felt I had been neglecting him. I had no idea about this, I thought we were in love. He had never communicated it to me and I feel absolutely awful about it. He said that he felt things hadn't been right for over a year in our relationship of almost 3 years. I just wish I he had told me sooner so I could have tried to be a better girlfriend. I was always loyal to him and never had eyes for anyone else but I know I can get engrossed and carried away with hobbies and work, I'd done this for so long and most the time he felt he was just 'sitting there', and this has caused him to feel distant to me and unsure of his feelings.

 

The last 4 days I feel I've done everything I can on my part. I have called him, turned up at his doorstep with small gifts, poured my heart out to him and told him how much he means to me, promised to make things better between us and give him the love he deserves if he were to take me back, and even go to counselling if I had to. When I was round his place I also tried to kiss him to show my affection and he did respond and kiss me back. However although he has been nice to me and told me what a wonderful person I am and how he always wants me in his life as a friend (I don't want this! It would hurt too much, especially if he were to meet someone else one day) aside from that he's not said he wants to get back together, he's just said he doesn't know and is confused. I asked him if there is anyone else and he promises me there isn't, and his mother who he lives with says she's sure there anyone else isn't either.

 

It's heartbreaking to not be given a straight answer by the man you're in love with, so yesterday I asked him to think about it and get in touch if he decides he wants to give it another try. I also said not to contact me again if he doesn't wish to and to respect I need to move on. He said he doesn't mean to mess me about and is genuinely confused. I sent him a personalised ecard I made, and quite a soppy one, before I ended the conversation telling him how sorry I was, and he responded with 'thank you so much, that is so so sweet'.

 

And that's it. What do you think guys? Shall I start with NC and know I did all I can and if he doesn't get in touch accept his love wasn't enough and move on?

[dirkdaring]

Definitely go no contact. Pushing him will only push him further away, not "see the light" like you think it will. You asked HIM to go no contact, so don't send a mixed signal by contacting him before he contacts you, which is what you said you asked for.

[nihongo]

Yes. Start with NC. He gets the message of how you feel. I think if you keep on bombarding him with gifts and sappy things, it will push him away. He said he's confused - so give him some time to clearly think.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this . Yes start No contact immediately. Becoming a grovelling stalker will not win him back. Accept that he was a mama's boy and too needy and whiny about your hobbies and who you are.

 

Accept this gift of freedom he gave you so you can find someone who communicates well, is more compatible and accepts you and your hobbies.

I have called him, turned up at his doorstep with small gifts, poured my heart out to him and told him how much he means to me, promised to make things better between us and give him the love he deserves if he were to take me back

[SkellyWoozle]

Shame he couldn't be honest with you from the start. I would start NC right away as you don't want to come across as being a needy stalker type... even if he has come across as being a needy person with you. He could easily have gone out and found his own stuff to do. Find someone who is more on your level and has the same interests. Good luck X

[BlarneyStone]

Lol what? I'm sorry, but I guess I have to eat crow here. I never thought I'd see a thread where the guy felt "neglected".

 

Dude needs to man up honestly. That's the type of excuse I expect from a girl. You're better off without him.

[Iggy5129]

Lol what? I'm sorry, but I guess I have to eat crow here. I never thought I'd see a thread where the guy felt "neglected".

 

Dude needs to man up honestly. That's the type of excuse I expect from a girl. You're better off without him.

 

Seriously?? Men have feelings too and also need to be loved. There's no certain way a man "should" act. The only thing he should have "manned up" about was communicating how he felt to his GF.

[BlarneyStone]

I mean we don't know a lot about the situation, but if a guy feels neglected then he sounds too dependent to me. Men need to have purpose in life other than a relationship. The rest will take care of itself.

[Samuel824]

Lol what? I'm sorry, but I guess I have to eat crow here. I never thought I'd see a thread where the guy felt "neglected".

 

Dude needs to man up honestly. That's the type of excuse I expect from a girl. You're better off without him.

 

Eh.. there's plenty of guys out there who fall in love, and when rejected by there other have, feel neglected. Gender should not be a deciding factor when feeling neglected. Come on now.