mrembo2016 Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Hi i am new here, but i need som advice It is like this , i want to know what you think about this, The company i am working with had a weekend travel to another country last month and when we were there i found out that i had the best room nobody else had where i could watch the sea, it was above all other we were just 50 people, i did not consider this special until when my boss came to help me finding the way to the restaurant where they were sitting during the first night because i was late to catch up with them. he found me at the beach walking and then he open up his arms to hug me and i got the bear tight quick hug and we walked to the place, during the way he asked me how i liked the room. i answered him as it was and then i said i was sorry that i could not be there in time etc. he then told me if it was ok to walk in the sand in the high heels.. etc, we were at the place i sat down and said hi to everybody and sat down. then i noticed that he was smilling and looking everytime i laughed loud with people that i sat with.. The day was over and i then went to the hotel with everybody and went to sleep. Day no 2, it went good during the day different activities and we were going to a special restaurant during the night, he said we should all get well dressed and then i went to the reception where we were supposed to meet all other before taking a buss to town to have dinner, when i was walking he came near me and said it was great to see me and i smilled while walking to find where to stand and i saw his friend looking at me , i sat on the soffa arm and the boy who sat on the soffa smelled my arm and said , i smelled nice . we went to the restaurant and i stand and looked for the place i could seat while touching one chair then he came and waited when i pulled to seat he did the same and we ended up seating the same table and some other people. The day ended and next day the flight back home i got the best seat on the plane and sat with the person who told me not to go out to dance during the night because i was not safe and the guy who smelled at me sat on the back of my seat. When we had some activities some was to read on some questions and answers and he was going arround to every group and when he came he found i was giving my point and when he was collecting all the group answers he then pick up that answer which i said on that question when he gave back the summary of the whole project Can you please tell me what is going on? am so confused Thank you Link to comment
SkellyWoozle Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Unless there's something you're not telling us then I can't help thinking you reading way too much into things. Apart from the hug on the beach which I find a bit creepy, it seems like everyone was just having fun and looking out for you. It's a good thing that someone said to you to not go out after dark as it's not safe, but I would be very surprised if it was in any way singling you out. Are you younger than your colleagues? Maybe they see you as someone to watch over. Maybe he chose your answer by chance? It also seems like you're hanging on the fact that all this stuff happened and actually you might be the one who has the crush? Just observations from your post. If you had said that your boss came onto you, tried to kiss you or made suggestive comments then I would tell you to run and get a new job but that's not the case. Just be careful you don't make yourself look foolish by reading into things that are probably not there. Link to comment
mrembo2016 Posted September 20, 2016 Author Share Posted September 20, 2016 Thank you for that, i might be fool already to react and think this way but i think it is not my faulty as i was a good person not thinking about him untill he hugged me, why could he hug me at the beach and before that he phoned me for the first time and said hi, how long did i come if i was near the restaurant and then he stated this, " do you see a guy waving on the beach?" i said no and he said i should continue untill i see we meet and when i saw him i waved and he open up his arms for a hug. i really do regret that we travelled but i hope to get over this soon Link to comment
SkellyWoozle Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Not normal for a boss, in my opinion. Is he like this with other women in the office? Does he have any kind of a reputation? So - you can: 1. Stay in your job and act normal as if nothing has happened. 2. Stay in your job and avoid your boss as much as possible and hope that he was just being an idiot and that by you ignoring him he realises you're not into him. 3. If he makes you feel uncomfortable, then get another job. In my opinion, it's not normal for a boss to do this stuff, but if you value your job then see how it goes. If he persists then leave. Good luck X Link to comment
mrembo2016 Posted September 20, 2016 Author Share Posted September 20, 2016 Not normal for a boss, in my opinion. Is he like this with other women in the office? Does he have any kind of a reputation? So - you can: 1. Stay in your job and act normal as if nothing has happened. 2. Stay in your job and avoid your boss as much as possible and hope that he was just being an idiot and that by you ignoring him he realises you're not into him. 3. If he makes you feel uncomfortable, then get another job. In my opinion, it's not normal for a boss to do this stuff, but if you value your job then see how it goes. If he persists then leave. Good luck X Thank you for the response, No i have never seen this with other girls he but i dont know the girls who worked there before me , what i know is that is the first time they have a weekend travel outside, he is married and he never talks much about it , is all i know. i really think is up to something as it is not normal even though he cant say it may be is scared or something or not sure , as am not that stupid person to not understand Link to comment
SkellyWoozle Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 You're not stupid at all - far from it. At least you recognise that there is something not quite right. You have to go with your head, not your heart. If this man has unwanted intentions towards you then you need to get a new job. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Did the boss make a pass at you or do you have a crush on him and think the "better" accommodations was a hint that he wanted to hookup? How is he acting now that you are back from the business trip?he found me at the beach walking and then he open up his arms to hug me and i got the bear tight quick hug and we walked to the place, during the way he asked me how i liked the room. Link to comment
Andrina Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Make sure you're not the type of person who lets life happen to her without any say so, and you shouldn't go with the flow of whatever other people decide if it confuses or is against your wishes. You shouldn't be a passive recipient of whatever they decide to dole out. Work is your profession. Don't let the lines blur. If you feel like a man in the workplace sees you as a sexual being versus a competent colleague, then you need to put them in their place. You can do this without being belligerent. You state in a confident, mellow tone whatever it is that you want to stop. Example: A boss or co-worker goes to hug you. Put a hand up and smile. "I have a rule about not hugging in the workplace." If a colleague tries to engage you in intimate conversation, you say, "I keep my personal life separate from my work life." Then steer the conversation back to work stuff. Some women want to be so nice and not hurt others, that they end up hurting themselves by being taken advantage of. Link to comment
j.man Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 You're a young lady attracted to an older authority figure. I'm pretty sure that's a rite of passage for most women. Just focus on your work and don't beat yourself up. Link to comment
mrembo2016 Posted September 20, 2016 Author Share Posted September 20, 2016 I was late from the hotel place to the restaurant there we would meet and eat.it was 20 minutes walk from the hotel .i then text a college and asked then the boss who never contacted me though my mobile private number Phoned after i had walked for 15 minutes as He was the one who arranged the trip. He then said in the Phone the stuffed i said and said i should keep walking after like 2 minutes i saw him and he then Open his arms Wide for a hug and we huged bear hug the tight one i could bearly breath but Quick Link to comment
mrembo2016 Posted September 20, 2016 Author Share Posted September 20, 2016 Am not attracted at all just hate all these special treatments Link to comment
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