Back together

[confused144324]

Hi all,

 

Never done this sort of this before and i hope i can get some great advise from you guys,

 

well.. here goes.....

 

i have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years and we started to have arguments none stop. we decide to spilt up, after a week i decide to go down to see her unannounced it turns out a guy was there. i backed of and turned around and kept a cool head.

 

3 months after this date, we contacted each other again, since that date we are now back together in a relationship which has been for a year. we opened up about our past and she was a bit drunk and spilled out what happened with that guy, "she slept with him of course and confirms it was a big mistake". you always hear that if a woman loves you she wouldnt cheat etc or she wont go of with another guy within a week of break up.

 

 

now i have always had a horrible deep gut feeling that being in a relationship with her is a bad idea...... i just dont know what to do anymore any advise?

[moodindigo91]

you always hear that if a woman loves you she wouldnt cheat etc or she wont go of with another guy within a week of break up.

 

 

I don't know where you guys always hear this crap from. I also don't know why men judge women for rebounding and sleeping with another guy after a tough break up, and suddenly why it becomes a reason for you to leave her after she was completely honest with you about it. That kind of sucks if you ask me. To use someone's past mistakes as a reason to leave them in the future, when those past mistakes have no bearing on who she is now or how your relationship is now. 1) She didn't cheat on you; 2) Why does it matter that she rebounded with another dude after you were broken up?

 

That's part of taking someone back and getting back together. You literally have to agree not to care about what happened in between the time you broke up and got back together. If you can't do that, you should never have gotten back together. Sucks for her to be honest.

[Wiseman2]

What was that breakup about? She didn't cheat, you were broken up and there is no "rule" that states when a person can sleep with another after a breakup. If you can't get over it, you may have to end it with her.

you always hear that if a woman loves you she wouldnt cheat etc or she wont go of with another guy within a week of break up

[confused144324]

it makes a difference to me as i only found out recently that the guy was her best friends work mate who spends alot of time around "her" friends, its alot easier when you know you will never see that person she slept with again, but knowing you might bump into him and possiblity of a sarcastic comment such as "i ed your girl" i just dont know how to handle that enviroment, Yes i repeat its easier when you know you will never see the person she slept with

[confused144324]

the thing i cant get my head around is, if she really loved me she wouldnt of gone with another guy..... especially a couple weeks after, i mean dont people wait for a couple of months atleast?

[Wiseman2]

If you really loved her you would not have broken up with her.

if she really loved me she wouldnt of gone with another guy.

[iReflect]

If she was honest with you then you should take her back because

First - she told you what happened when you guys broke up, let alone she probably doesn't have feelings for the guy at all since it as just a one time thing.

Second - you guys were broken up, so it doesn't account for cheating or any of that matter

Third - if you wanna be back with her, you guys gotta talk things out and try things to be happy..

Relationships always end up working, if she regretted that decision or it was something to get over you, clearly it didn't work because you guys are back together. Love does amazing things, and if you guys really love each other you can tell and she would do anything to be with you. I wish you luck!

[moodindigo91]

It doesn't matter who she rebounded with or how he acts. The other guy is inconsequential. It's your problem now, not hers.

 

It's stupid and naive to say "well, if she loved me she wouldn't have slept with someone else AFTER we broke up." Not true at all. She loves you and that's clear otherwise she wouldn't have told you anything about her rebound. She was broken and confused after your break up I imagine, and rebounded. Sex does not equate to love. She should stop wasting her time on you if you can't get past the fact that she has slept with someone else in her life. This would be the same thing to me as a guy refusing to be with a girl because she slept with guys before he dated her. It's not fair and it's pretty ridiculous. Did you sleep with anyone during the interim? If she were here I'd tell her to stop wasting her time on you instead, sounds like she deserves someone who WON'T break up with her and then decide not to take her back because she slept with one guy in between. I don't know why men assume that the girl they dumped should be celibate while she's single or why she should suddenly take him back when he decides he wants her again. The fact that she took you back and was completely honest with you about it, even calling it a mistake, should be enough for you to lay this to rest.

 

If YOU really loved HER, you would drop this.

[minosobie]

People always screw other people when they get out of a relationship. I recently got dumped and even though I was/ am heartbroken, I've been getting laid like it's my job. So has my ex. At first I was hurt and bothered by it but then I was like "Well, of course he is."

 

You can't hold something against someone that they did when you guys were not together. It was her way of coping, finding herself, moving on at the time. Forget about it. She's with you now, enjoy the NOW.