We used to date, now she only wants to sleep together

[dziq645]

Greetings Everybody!

 

I need your thoughts and opinions about my current situation, please feel free to speak your mind.

 

Around February last year a girl I liked approached me and offered FWB (friends with benefits) type of relationship, I wasn't super comfortable with it, but I was hoping that physical aspect will help me get her emotional attachment.

 

And it worked!

Later she admitted that it was my abs and sense of humour that got her to like me.

 

Few months in, things are great (Honeymoon phase?). She's not much into PDA (public display of affection) and gets upset over my imperfections, she clearly seemed like someone with dismissive attachment style.

 

Over the summer me and our friends visited her in Greece (she's from there obviously). It was a trip that we planned before we became FWB. Something was wrong there. She constantly offended me, gave me cold shoulder, no sex, not even eye contact. I tried to play it cool but after 4 days when I was genuinely miserable, she asked me whats wrong and we got to talking that it's too early for holidays together. Her behaviour improved for one day, after that she acted like I was an intruder.

 

I know that there is a lot of emotionally tough people here, but you must admit - If you feel anxious about something and it's eating you alive, you can start acting awkward. Because that's what happened to me. I was awkward around her friends, parents, made possibly some of the lamest jokes in my entire life. Plus accidentally blinded myself for half a day with a sunscreen. Huge turn-off (although eating entire lunch with your eyes closed is kind of an accomplishment

 

As we are both students (aged 23 and 25) we spent summer (2,5 months) apart. She wasn't contacting me very often and I didn't wanted to be seen as needy so we ended up talking on messenger once in 1-2 weeks and skyping twice.

 

Last Friday she came back to UK, bit early because she wanted to surprise me and talk to me about something. I sensed trouble.

 

She said that she wants to come back to being FWB, that I was a huge turn-off in Greece plus she never wanted any relationship. Luckily I had few beers in me so I said that I don't go for half-measures and that I don't want to be FWB, because I will end up getting attached and hurt. After an hour she replied that she's gonna give me a real chance for commitment and one month "trial period". I took it, but things feel like she's forcing herself to spend time with me.

 

What do you guys think of it? Am I an idiot for hoping that I can make it work again? She took pity at me? Or did she just tricked me into having sex?

 

Please share your opinions

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it sounds like she will revert to fwb in 1 mo. so try not to get attached or too invested in this.

she's gonna give me a real chance for commitment and one month "trial period". I took it, but things feel like she's forcing herself to spend time with me.

[SkellyWoozle]

Sounds to me like she's letting you down gently - doesn't want a relationship really but will stay with you for a month before reverting to FWB. If I were you I'd get in first and tell her to get lost X

[Ms Darcy]

She does not want more than a fwb situation. She just wants to get you back in that mindset.

[Tinydance]

OK, one mistake people often make, is hoping to turn an FWB into a relationship. Most of the time that only happens in movies and NEVER in real life. When someone tells you they only want FWB with you, they really mean that. Whether they just don't want a relationship in general or don't want one with you, they are telling you the truth. I don't think you can get someone to have feelings for you if they just don't. Also sorry but from your description it doesn't sound to me like you were dating. And if she likes your "humour and abs", that's just qualities she likes, doesn't mean she has feelings. Liking abs is only physical attraction anyway and what she wants from you is only sex. She treated you really bad in Greece and I don't think she respects you either. And giving you a "trial period", are you a vacuum cleaner to try out or something? Lol I think you should just break it off with her and look for a girl that does truly care for you and want a relationship with you.

[HeartGoesOn]

^

Agreed.

 

Also, it seems she was straight with you right from the beginning. A healthy relationship begins with a period of dating and getting to know one another, where FWB's is simply having meaningless sex on a dead end street, so to speak, (imo).

 

In short, to each their own....