Closure for my thoughts

[Brando442]

Its been a bout 3 weeks since my partner broke it off with me. I feel better than I did 3 weeks ago. My therapist helped me realise a few things about the relationship.

Basically It took me awhile to open up to my ex in the first place and she cracked me and I fell for her, I was damaged from a previous relationship had insecurity about being cheated on and low self esteem. It was up and down I would seek reassurance and I would get better and worse. However one day I found out that my ex had taken drugs something she swore she never did. I questioned her and she admitted it and said she was scared it'd change my opinion on her. Since then my insecurity got worse in regards to when she went out (which was rare) and she started to get less and less patient as time went on. But her lie was what made me worse yet overtime I was the one being told to "Get over it" and stuff like that.

 

I know insecurity is bad and its what contributed to the end of our relationship and I know that. But what gets me is she never admits she did any wrong! the most I ever got was "I wasn't perfect".

 

This break up has hurt my confidence etc. Its like I keep looking for answers and justification that it WASN'T entirely my fault. I know theres no blame but I feel like the bad guy and I can't shake it.

I know her other reason about not knowing what she wants because she wants to follow her dreams isn't me.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it sounds like she lied, betrayed you, she wasn't who you thought she was... so it's good she's gone. Why let her defensive bs even resonate with you?

I found out that my ex had taken drugs something she swore she never did. I questioned her and she admitted it and said she was scared it'd change my opinion on her. I was the one being told to "Get over it" and stuff like that.

same girl?

[SkellyWoozle]

Sometimes there are no answers and beating yourself up over it doesn't help because you won't get the answers you're looking for. She sounds like a bit of a ratbag and didn't do you any favours at all. Take care of you, look after yourself and get out there and find someone who loves and respects you for who you are X

[Wiseman2]

She sounds like a bit of a ratbag

]

[SkellyWoozle]

Cheeky Monkey

[Brando442]

Yeah that's the same girl

 

The whole drug thing was before we were together but it's still the fact she said she didn't do anything hard then I found out otherwise, it wouldn't have been an issue at all if I was told at the time