No contact rule issue...

[Blueeyedguy]

My girlfriend has recently informed me she wants a break from our relationship. It's been a few days and she continues to keep in contact. Morning texts, goodnight texts and if I don't respond she calls to "check up on me". The calls don't last long at all just general how ya do's kinda thing. And she says she is going to continue to come by and see me on Tuesday as we were doing while we were dating. When I see her she acts as if we are still together; holding hands, long kisses, saying I love you, rubbing her foot on my leg under the table, etc. So I want her to get a taste of what it will really be like with us not being together. I'm not one to remain friends with my ex's and she knows this. So my question is, how can I keep the no contact rule if she shows up at my house? I could tell her what I'm doing but at the same time I'm not sure if that will be the best option. I've read alot of different sites about it but none of them really address how to handle the ex showing up at your house. I really do care about her and want her back. But I don't want this to become the type of situation where she is using me to ween herself out of our relationship to try to keep from hurting me. So any advice is welcome.

[gebaird]

Block her everywhere you can and stop the kisses and hand holding. Tell her it's all or nothing: she's in a relationship with you and gets the benefits that come with it, or she doesn't get anything. If she stops by your house, talk to her on the doorstep but don't let her in. Tell her you're doing it for her. If it's space she wants, you're going to give her all the space she needs. If it's a relationship she wants, you'll give her that too. But there can be no in between.

[Wiseman2]

Agree with gebaird that you need to go no contact. This friendzone nonsense is torture for you. Don't be her male gal-pal with these silly teasing calls.

 

You would feel better if you stopped letting her mess with your heart and mind this way

 

Most of all stop seeing her. She doesn't get to dump you And date you. What is that?

 

if I don't respond she calls to "check up on me".When I see her she acts as if we are still together; holding hands, long kisses, saying I love you, rubbing her foot on my leg under the table, etc.

same girl?

[Blueeyedguy]

Agree with gebaird that you need to go no contact. This friendzone nonsense is torture for you. Don't be her male gal-pal with these silly teasing calls.

 

You would feel better if you stopped letting her mess with your heart and mind this way

 

Most of all stop seeing her. She doesn't get to dump you And date you. What is that?

 

 

same girl?

 

Yes same girl. I think I have 3 posts. All as the situation progressed further.

[HeartGoesOn]

My guess is you feel if you don't respond she'll run the other way, where instead she'll likely lose her lead, followed by realizing there's a risk of losing you. Of course there are no guarantees and she'll either sink or swim, but you'll have your answer.

[ThatwasThen]

My girlfriend has recently informed me she wants a break from our relationship. It's been a few days and she continues to keep in contact. Morning texts, goodnight texts and if I don't respond she calls to "check up on me". The calls don't last long at all just general how ya do's kinda thing. And she says she is going to continue to come by and see me on Tuesday as we were doing while we were dating. When I see her she acts as if we are still together; holding hands, long kisses, saying I love you, rubbing her foot on my leg under the table, etc. So I want her to get a taste of what it will really be like with us not being together. I'm not one to remain friends with my ex's and she knows this. So my question is, how can I keep the no contact rule if she shows up at my house? I could tell her what I'm doing but at the same time I'm not sure if that will be the best option. I've read alot of different sites about it but none of them really address how to handle the ex showing up at your house. I really do care about her and want her back. But I don't want this to become the type of situation where she is using me to ween herself out of our relationship to try to keep from hurting me. So any advice is welcome.

 

Don't be home when she "drops by" on Tuesday. When she asks where you were, tell her you were out enjoying the break. Don't just say it, actually be out and having fun and getting on with your life without her in it.

[Blueeyedguy]

My guess is you feel if you don't respond she'll run the other way, where instead she'll likely lose her lead, followed by realizing there's a risk of losing you. Of course there are no guarantees and she'll either sink or swim, but you'll have your answer.

 

Yes, you are correct. I am worried if I stop talking she will take it as me moving on. She is the type to remain friends with her ex's and I'm not one to keep in contact and she knows this. I made it a point to tell her it once again when she told me she wanted a break.