Ex texted me after 2 weeks of NC

[jackie103]

She graduated college and I'm in my senior year. She's visiting this weekend because she's nearby for her work. Anyway, she broke up wth me June after almost 3 years due to GIGS, but kept in contact until about 2 weeks ago because I was miserable and realized I needed to cut off contact. Anyway, she doesn't have any friends left in college who go to football games here and I told her two weeks ago that I couldn't see her this weekend.

 

She texted me this morning saying that she couldn't find any tickets or anyone to sit with and that she's sorry for texting me, but she doesn't know what to do anymore.

 

I feel bad but I don't think I should respond. I am a girl also, and her parents didn't know we were together so the only thing I'm worried about is her parents thinking badly of me (as a friend) because we were best friends to them and they come up for every home game. What do I do?

[ThatwasThen]

Keep ignoring her. I see no reason why you should break your healing to bail her out.

[No1]

Its not your problem to deal with or get involved. She is an X and she is a big girl, she can figure out her own problems. Just let it go. Remember, its easier to stay out than it is to get out. Dont get involved or invested.

[nihongo]

Can you say you have plans already so her parents will understand?

[gebaird]

Sounds to me like she is saying, "I'm mildly inconvenienced, so it is okay if I put you through several weeks of hell?" Who in their right mind would say yes to that question? She lost her right to any relationship/friendship benefits when she dumped you.

 

Stay strong and ignore her.

[Doc Blaze]

I don't think you need to sugarcoat your feelings, just kindly say you cant go our there is nothing you can do.

 

 

what is she going to do , use you for a few hours then back to reality again ...

[jackie103]

Thanks guys. I haven't responded yet and don't think i will. I feel bad for not responding but i know this is the right thing to do for myself

[gebaird]

Thanks guys. I haven't responded yet and don't think i will. I feel bad for not responding but i know this is the right thing to do for myself

 

Bravo. It's not always easy to do the right thing, but the guilt you feel about not responding is probably a drop in the bucket compared to the pain you'd have to feel if you pretended to be okay with this.

[jackie103]

Thanks! She just messaged me through groupme this time, asking if i would go to her family's tailgate after the game for a little. she added an extra "please?" at the end. I know she wants me to go just so her parents dont get suspicious. I dont know what to do

 

Do I respond? I really like her parents, theyve always been very nice to me and i have experienced so many things that i never would have if it werent for them, so I would rather them not have bad ideas about me. I feel like its killing me that she is so close, but i can't see her because i know it would be the wrong choice for myself.

 

Any advice?

[boltnrun]

Why would they have bad ideas about you just because you can't make it?

 

Is it worth setting you back several weeks or months?

 

Are you hoping this will lead to her wanting you back and that's why you want to go?

[jackie103]

Why would they have bad ideas about you just because you can't make it?

 

Is it worth setting you back several weeks or months?

 

Are you hoping this will lead to her wanting you back and that's why you want to go?

 

Because I'm normally always with her. I always go to their tailgates (most of the time the only one), so I feel like her parents will think badly that I didn't invite their daughter to wherever I am or something like that. Maybe not though, I'm sure they rather see her than her being off somewhere else.

 

And I don't know how I feel about going. It's just hard knowing she's going to be so close by... Maybe a part of me still wants her to want me back but I know it won't happen. I asked her last time if she ever sees us being together again and she said no. She still wants to be friends though because she said that she knows she'll never find something with the same connection that we have. Knowing she doesn't see us together again hurts like hell. I understand that she wants to go out, date guys, and just explore life single before settling down but I don't feel that way at all, I know exactly what I want.

 

Ps we are both each other's first girls. We still like guys.

[jackie103]

Also, not sure if I sure read the message? It will show that I read it. Should I let her know that I read it and didn't respond? Or should I just leave it so it doesn't say that I read it?

 

I know this is childish but immature, but I feel like the choices will make a difference in things haha

[Personperson14]

It sounds like she's being a bit selfish to be honest. She must know what she's put you through and for her to just pop in and go "oh yeah can you just do this thing for me that make you miserable but let me get through what is clearly not a problem" is just bad.

 

I know you might care about her still but you aren't in a relationship with her anymore and should concentrate on putting yourself in a better place where you feel healthier.

 

Do what's right for you.

[Doc Blaze]

Because I'm normally always with her. I always go to their tailgates (most of the time the only one), so I feel like her parents will think badly that I didn't invite their daughter to wherever I am or something like that. Maybe not though, I'm sure they rather see her than her being off somewhere else.

 

And I don't know how I feel about going. It's just hard knowing she's going to be so close by... Maybe a part of me still wants her to want me back but I know it won't happen. I asked her last time if she ever sees us being together again and she said no. She still wants to be friends though because she said that she knows she'll never find something with the same connection that we have. Knowing she doesn't see us together again hurts like hell. I understand that she wants to go out, date guys, and just explore life single before settling down but I don't feel that way at all, I know exactly what I want.

 

Ps we are both each other's first girls. We still like guys.

 

its all about her, if she cared she wouldnt be texting you about a tailgate she would let you move on and find someone who cares about you they way you do them.. you also owe her parents nothing.

[jackie103]

Yeah, last time she said she knew she was being selfish. It sucks. I had a really rough day today, knowing she was so nearby. I miss her and would like to see her but i know that would just break me down knowing she doesnt want to be with me. It's hard because I really don't think I will ever find someone again with the same connection we had and I know she feels the same way since she said she couldnt not be friends with me because of that. She even said that she doesn't know why I still want her when she didn't treat me the way I deserve throughout the relationship. I'm just so in love i could look past all of her flaws and thats the worst part

[chitown9]

Jackie, she broke up with you, honey. Just keep that in mind and stay strong. chi

[jackie103]

I'm working on it haha. some days are better than others.