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Should I wish my ex a happy birthday after all this? I don't know what to do.

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Okay so I’ll try not to make this too long but I feel I need to add details to get the best answers. So...my boyfriend of a year broke up with me almost a month ago. The reasoning for breaking up wasn’t anything major, he just couldn’t handle the relationship anymore (he suffers from depression, OCD, and anxiety so it was really hard for him to manage at times, leaving the both of us very unhappy) When we first broke up we were on good terms! We agreed it was for the best and that we wanted to stay friends. He said he still cared about me and would always be here for me (we were best friends before)...well I guess I felt I was more hurt over the break up than he was so we got into a fight a couple days later because he flat out ignored my message to him and I saw him talking to some girl on Facebook and it made me mad/jealous. So I lashed out and said some mean things to him (like 'I don't know why I even stayed with you for so long, you're just like my last ex' stuff like that) It was stupid and I made a mistake. I told him that, I admitted that I was wrong and I shouldn't have gotten so mad. He pretty much blew off my apology and gave me very short responses. So I stopped talking to him for a bit and then tried one last time, I wrote out a long apology and explained everything...I ended it by saying I'd like to try and be friends again if he'd give me a chance. He read my message (we have read receipts on) but he ignored it and never replied...I figured I'd never hear from him so I gave up. and never sent him another message. About a week and a half later he randomly text me "Hey..." so I reply a couple hours later with a "Hello." He again, read the message but never said anything. (it's been a week since this has happen) His birthday is coming up in about 2 weeks...I want to wish him a happy birthday because I want to be the bigger person and I honestly just want to be nice to him especially because I feel horrible for the way I acted after the break up and I want him to know that I don't blame him and I'm not upset about it anymore...but at the same time I'm afraid he'll get mad at me or he'll ignore me again...Which would really hurt me. I'm also afraid of breaking NC and regretting it, since I haven't initiated contact for WEEKS. I just want us to be on good terms again, or at least be civil with each other and maybe check in every once in a while. (btw he was so good to me on my birthday...but we were still together then) I literally have changed my mind so many times on whether I plan to send him anything...because I figure if I do send him something, he may appreciate me remembering and it could maybe get us to be on good terms since he can maybe see that I'm doing better, ya know? But then I feel like if I continue NC, it'll make him wonder if I forgot/don't care, or make him wonder why I didn't say anything and then he could end up contacting me first. What should I do?! Thanks so much for reading!!!

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