What do I do

[Kittykoo11]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years and he is my first love. We split up for a few months at the beginning of the year and he did become a lad and slept with 3 girls behind my back. I was badly hurt and I suffer with depression with how bad I was going through the break up. He came back and we managed to sort things out and get back together however I've never really got over what he's done and I've had major trust issues since. I accused him all the time of doing things behind my back in fear and we argued so much that it has now come to the point that he has told me we need "time apart" I've been messaging him like 30 messages of how much he has hurt me and he has said nothing but to sort myself out and he will be here waiting and he won't do anything like he did in the past again to me. We have a holiday booked in a few months and I'm just panicking what to do. I've ended up blocking him on everything because it all got too much and I have spoken to him for a day and heard nothing. I feel broken I don't want it to be over and I want him to chase me and realise what he's doing. I'm trying to stay strong but it's becoming so hard

[Wiseman2]

Interestingly "taking breaks' is a chicken and egg situation. You believe he slept around because you two were "on break" however closer to the truth is "taking breaks" is a license to put the relationship "on hold" while having fun elsewhere.

 

Now you know that "needs space" and "taking breaks' is the code for sanctioned cheating, you should realize that doing an on/off relationship and taking him back means all he has to do to fool around is stage a fight, take "a break" then fool around with no repercussions because he's using the "on a break" loophole to screw around.

 

It would be best to never take him back and consider it over for good in order to find a more sincere guy who doesn't need "breaks" and continual hurts you. You need to go no contact and block him. Do not chase a player if you want your heart and soul intact.

We split up for a few months at the beginning of the year and he did become a lad and slept with 3 girls behind my back. we argued so much that it has now come to the point that he has told me we need "time apart"

[gebaird]

Situations like this can be so confusing. It sounds like your heart is being torn into pieces: you love him, he hurt you, you're afraid, he's stepping back, now you're hurting again.

 

I'm curious what led to the split at the beginning of the year. It sounds like you agreed to take him back, but never really got over what he did (not surprising). A part of you wants to be with him and a part of you is still processing his betrayal.

 

I would take him up on his offer to give you space. I think it's what you both need right now. Don't worry about the holiday; you'll know better what to do about that in a couple of months. Stop sending him angry messages. Focus on yourself, on healing and forgiving and figuring out what you really want in a relationship. Give yourself 60 days of no contact and see how you feel at the end of it.

[Dorian]

The other posters are right! I don't know how old you are but you're wasting your time. You will fall in love with someone else with just as much passion as before. Life is way to short for you to be treated this way.. Let me ask you, do you get walked over in other aspects in your life? I've been in your shoes and the moment you forgive someone too easily they will walk all over you knowing that all they have to do is pay a small price and you will forgive them because you love them. Trust me, I made the same mistake with a girl... and it ended with her running of with some rich guy she met on vacation... She finally met someone worth leaving me for. Honey, he doesn't respect you, and you cannot have a loving, long term relationship with someone who doesn't respect you. I'm truly sorry for what you're going through but you need to remove this guy from your life. It's hard and you will cry, get angry, cry again, miss them, cry again, prob cry again, but one day you will realize that he never really respected you, and YOU DESERVE RESPECT! Respect for yourself is the first step! You owe it to yourself!!