Just got broken up with

[aksnow]

Hey everyone.

 

I posted not too long ago about not knowing what to do with my long distance relationship. I had the choice to either stay at the college I'm currently at, supported by good scholarships and my amazing family, or drop it all to move to the city where my boyfriend lives 10 hours away. Well I made the decision to stay where I'm at, and some stuff went down that I was not expecting at all.

 

A few weeks ago, he told me he wouldn't break up with me if I chose to stay. But now that I gave him the final decision, he's apparently changed his mind. I was sure he was the one I was going to marry, and I can't imagine my life without him. He even said he couldn't imagine his life without me, while he was breaking up with me. But apparently he can imagine it without me.

 

It all just happened so fast and unexpectedly for the both of us. I'm having a hard time sifting through all the emotions that are flying around my brain. But honestly, if he wasn't 100% sure he could deal with a long distance relationship, then it never would work out. Period. I know that truth. There would've been no point in stringing along the relationship, hoping it will work.

 

That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though. God it hurts. He was my best friend, and honestly still is my best friend. And I'll always love him. He helped me see the world in a different way, and he loved me for me. He helped me to be a better person. Luckily the breakup wasn't an ugly one. There's no hate on either of our parts. It just sucks.

 

Thanks for those who have read this far. I appreciate it. Hopefully I'll be able to make more sense of what I'm feeling soon. It helps to just type it all out like this.

[Liger911]

Its admarable you guys tried. My and my ex guy didtn even try but i wish we had. Yiou can at least say that you gave it a shot

[gebaird]

I remember your post. I'm so sorry.

 

I think you made the right decision (it probably doesn't feel like it, though!) Every relationship goes through tests like this one. Sometimes it makes them stronger, and sometimes it causes them to end.

 

The key to getting through this life without losing your sanity is to learn to roll with the changes. We all suffer setbacks, and there's a lot to be learned from every experience. Accept your new circumstances and focus on your studies. Give yourself time to grieve (it might take a while). Healing will come, in time, but I know it hurts now. It's okay to hurt. Grief is the price we pay for love, but it's much better than the alternative (not loving at all).

[Iggy5129]

I'm so glad you made the smart decision. Imagine if this had happened after you had moved.

[aksnow]

I'm trying so insanely hard not to text him right now. I normally would text him randomly throughout the day, telling him about what's happening. It's so weird not having hat outlet anymore. He told me last night that he still wants to be friends, but I told him I didn't think I could do that right off the bat. He asked me if he could text me the next morning, and I told him no. I would text him when I felt ready.

 

I don't feel ready. I have too many feelings for him still. But I definitely want to text him. I want my best friend back. My heart is so heavy right now...

[aksnow]

Having a rough day today. I had to mail his sweater back to him, and for some reason it threw me over the edge. I know it hasn't even been a week yet, but I'm so miserable... I'm struggling to get all of my school work done on time. I don't want to go to class. I'm constantly wondering why I wasn't good enough for him to stay. I know I shouldn't be thinking that way, and that it's not that I wasn't good enough. But I just can't help thinking that way. It's only Monday and this week is already hell.