I have feelings for my straight best friend.

[momssspghetti]

The attraction started around last year but I didn't see her much last after football season because we were in marching band together. I just completely disregarded any feelings because I told myself I'd never see her again. But things have changed. I see her every day. We spend our mornings before classes together, eat lunch together, I even take her to all of her classes. And I've gotten so used to spending this time with her it feels weird when I don't spend that time with her. I don't want things to get weird and awkward and uncomfortable if I tell her how I feel but I'm already weird and awkward and uncomfortable about the situation because it's my best friend. I really wanna tell her because it's stressful keeping it away from her because I tell her everything and I spend all of my free time with her. What do I do?

[pippy longstocking]

Break it down first ...

 

Is she gay first and foremost ?

 

If yes , then hell yeah , tell her , this might be going to a wonderful place .

 

If no .. then think about these points :

 

do you spend all your time on her out of friendship or desire ?

do you confide in her out of friendship or desire to get even closer ?

are you aware that this is just a way to relieve your stress and will just pile it all on her head !

 

If she is not gay and you are doing all of this just to be close then you are not best friends , you are simply doing it to be close to her . If she is not gay and you tell her it wont change her sexual orientation , but it will change the dynamics of your relationship and once you accept she is straight will you still want to see her as much ?

 

My suggestion would be to branch out a bit and follow your love life in a different direction and have your best friend ..as your best friend .

[pippy longstocking]

I meant to say *bi ...

[SherrySher]

Only tell her if she has given you the impression that she might be gay or bi as well. If she hasn't or is straight, let it go and try to date someone else meanwhile distance yourself for a bit from her till your crush passes. I know it's a tough spot to be in, but if you want to keep her as a best friend, this is all you can do.

[Wiseman2]

It would be best to come out and first mention you are gay. It's best to be yourself rather than accept her friendship under awkward circumstances. Why? Because two things, she may be straight (or gay/bi) and ok with gay same-sex friends (or not) and two it would allow you both to readjust to that news. I would do that before announcing "those" feeling for her

 

However it's unfair to yourself to be around her as a friend when there are two secrets one, you are gay and two you have feelings for her in that way.

I don't want things to get weird and awkward and uncomfortable if I tell her how I feel but I'm already weird and awkward and uncomfortable about the situation because it's my best friend. I really wanna tell her because it's stressful keeping it away from her because I tell her everything and I spend all of my free time with her. What do I do?