can a girl be nice out of pitty?

[1gentleman]

I know this is too vague.....But I liked a lot a coworker and asked out a coworker about a year ago. She declined me and despite the awkwardness I decided to move on even though I had strong feelings for her. However, lately she has been very nice to me. Does it make sense she is being nice to me a year later because she feels bad that I like her and she can't reciprocate? I do like her and it is work, more difficult. Or is she being nice because I became withdrawn from her (I did not do this on purpose to provoke a reaction, I became withdrawn because I thought she wanted to be left alone) Was thinking, my actions will speak louder than my words and I will find a way to charm her without stating, "can we go out, I like you, blah blah, this and that" I need help on this one, thanks everyone.

[Wiseman2]

Yes, but it's not desirable to be pitied. It sounds like she is being a friendly coworker and letting awkwardness be in the past.

asked out a coworker about a year ago. She declined me and despite the awkwardness I decided to move on. lately she has been very nice to me.

[gebaird]

I usually take a rejection as firm. She can be as nice to you as she wants, but unless she asks you out I wouldn't take her kindness as an invitation that she wants something more from you.

[1gentleman]

Wiseman2--I know it is not desirable to be pitied, I don't like it. I was thinking of just being friendly, polite, and playful in return, but not expressing the romantic stuff or flirting stuff.

[moodindigo91]

She is keeping it friendly, because it's work. She rejected you, so unless she makes some sort of clear advance toward you, I'd just keep it friendly.

[Gary Snyder]

Yes, some women will even give a guy a pity date.

[DancingFool]

Or she is being nice/friendly as she would to any other person figuring that it's been a year and you should be long over her and moved on, so it's OK for her to be her normal self around you.

Be careful about reading too much into something like general friendliness. She rejected you and it's wise to treat rejection as permanent because typically it actually is.

[Wiseman2]

Yeah, it may be best to be polite and friendly but skip any romantic/flirty stuff at the workplace.

I was thinking of just being friendly, polite, and playful in return, but not expressing the romantic stuff or flirting stuff.

[thejigsup]

When I was younger I did the pity stuff. No longer. She's just trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation at work.

[Sportster2005]

People are nice to one another, because we are supposed to be. Don't read into it.

 

Leave her alone, she's just being nice, not interested.