Alcohol has been ruining my life, enough is enough I'm ready to change

[Theycallmenova]

For the past few years I've been a binge drinker and what started out as a phase in college has become something that has become a problem. It's not that I drink every day but I've abused alcohol as a means of escape because I'm not happy with my life. I've met many great people who I've burnt bridges with and even met a great girl and ruined everything due to alcohol. It's completely changed my true personality and I've been in denial about it just brushing it off and thinking it's not an issue when it is.

 

So I've decided to do something about it and if anything it's either I control it or stop drinking altogether, my past is bad enough and I don't want to ruin my future. I want to use this experience as a way that made me a better person in the end and to prove everyone wrong about me. I know it won't be easy but in the end it'll be worth it, does anyone have any advice or personal stories that could give me some help and a glimour of hope? I'm ready to change into a better person.

[SherrySher]

If you have the will and have support you can most definitely overcome this. You see the problem and you know what needs to be done.

Getting into addiction counselling will be very helpful as will being around family and friends who support you and will not bring temptations around you.

 

In my life I have seen friends who have been alcoholics for years and realised that it was a problem and did overcome it and have been sober for a long long time.

There can be times where you slip or have cravings, this is normal, but as long as you stick to your goals and don't let it overwhelm you, this is something I am sure you will accomplish.

 

Many do not see a problem or are in denial or just plain don't care. You've made a huge step already in seeing the problem, and deciding for your own sake to now to remedy that problem.

As with anything, there will be good days and bad days. But as long as you stay strong and don't fall back under pressure, you will overcome.

I wish you the best of luck.

[SkellyWoozle]

You've made a massive step in just admitting you have a problem. If you have the love, support, willpower and want you CAN and WILL over come this. Determination is the key and realising that you are a nicer person, a healthier person and a stronger person without alcohol in your system. I've been there (supporting someone) and I'd be lying if I said it's easy. As Sherry says, you'll have days when you have the most incredible cravings and want to go back to your old life, but with willpower and determination, YOU CAN DO THIS! Take care and I hope things work out for you X

[Theycallmenova]

Thank you so much guys for those kinds words and encouragement it genuinely means a lot. For me personally I just got so caught up in being something I'm not and thinking people liked me for being this outrageous drunk guy when that wasn't the case whatsoever. My moment of realisation was when I blew a chance with a girl I really cared about due to making a stupid mistake when I was drunk, I then continued to pursue only when I was drunk and God bless her she was actually willing to give me another chance nearly a year later. I'd calmed down a bit but I slipped up and was only feeding her drunk bull again. After that she wiped her hands clean of me and it hurt a lot, I had so many mixed emotions but then I looked back and I realised it was the alcohol and my attitude towards that brought all this. So as much as it hurt losing her I decided it was time to change and I wasn't gonna let it make me hurt anyone else, I wanted to prove everyone wrong about me and that I can change, I'm not just drunken idiot. I've made the mistakes but I'm learning from them and going to use them as motivation to become a good man. When it's all said and done maybe I'll finally find what I was looking for and those people I've hurt may forgive me eventually.

[Fudgie]

I don't have much advice but I want to applaud you for having the self-insight into this. Really, I mean it. Do you know how many people drown themselves in alcohol and never see it as a problem, even as they lose jobs, partners, friends, and even get a DUI? You are nipping this in the bud relatively early in your life. Seriously, give yourself a big pat on the back.

 

I am not an alcoholic (never have been) but I do work sometimes with addicts and I think alcohol is tricky because it's SO rooted in our culture. When you're kicking something like, say, pills or even marijuana, you can always find people who do not partake at all and you don't have to be exposed to it. Alcohol is trickier because it's everywhere, bars, clubs, restaurants, etc. This is where a lot of people fail - because it's hard when your social gatherings have a lot of alcohol in them.

 

I would reach out to groups - AA if you want, or maybe even alcoholics-in-recovering local groups on MeetUp. Find support, share your story, and connect with people who are going thorugh the same thing. You can even develop a social life that does not involve alcohol. I do this myself - I go to gaming nights at a local coffeeshop - lots of fun and no alcohol there. You can also host your own small getogethers or go to them when you know the host is supportive.

 

Also, be sure to reach out to family members and friends who you know will be cool with it and tell them so you can have their support and comfort.

 

You can do this.

[Theycallmenova]

Yeah I completely understand and thank you very much for taking the time to discuss with me. You know I've always just wanted to be with someone and be happy with a good career and whatnot and like I mentioned I was close to it and ruined it due to insecurity and alcohol abuse. It really hit home when that happened and made me realise how out of control my behaviour was as well as out of character. The fact that I was close to winning her back and then ruined it again hurt even more and just made me realise it's the last straw. I may never hear from her ever again and that's okay I've accepted that but if I do I'd like her to see me as a better man and that ultimately she was wrong about me. Mistakes don't define us as a person, we've all got the same hours in the day and we all possess willpower and for once I'm doing something for my own good. Like I said enough is enough and again thank you very much everyone for the support its lovely.

[Fudgie]

You may have lost her but I think if you see this as an opportunity to change, as she was your real "a-ha" moment, then that may be the greatest thing that she could have given you because you can use this to get your life on track. We're here for you.

[Theycallmenova]

Exactly the best way to look at this whole thing is in the most positive and learning way I can. Take it as a lesson rather than a burden, I've been beating myself up for way too long and I'm still in my twenties, I have more than enough time to change and turn my life around. It is a shame that I lost her and I miss her very much but maybe as you said we were meant to meet for her to teach me a lesson and give me a realisation so that the next time it happens for me I won't make those mistakes again. This is the only way I choose to look at it to stop me from being sad and keep a positive attitude. I hope she's happy regardless, I guess I just wasn't ready for her, nothing worse than hurting someone lovely especially when you never meant to. Again thank you for the support, gotta stay strong!

[Wiseman2]

Excellent, recognition is the first step. Start attending AA or similar groups for support info and help. get a checkup from a doctor to address any physical, psychological issues and address those as well.

So I've decided to do something about it and if anything it's either I control it or stop drinking altogether, my past is bad enough and I don't want to ruin my future. I'm ready to change into a better person.

same girl?

[Theycallmenova]

Yeah you were right, time to clean my mess up now.

[Seymore]

I had a pretty nasty drinking habit that got ridiculous (drinking before work) before I said enough. It's good you recognize the problem - some say that's the first step. The next step is to tell people you trust and who care about you. I have a friend who has been sober for 15 years now, so I told him - it took a lot to tell someone I had a problem. He's gotten to the point where he goes to parties and isn't even tempted to have a sip - I asked him how the heck he pulls it off, and he says he "treats it like an allergy", since alcoholics only need that one sip to relapse.

 

He told me that alcoholism is more about WHY you drink than what you drink. You also recognize that you're drinking because you're miserable. Another good sign for recovery. Attend AA. Even if you're not the type to go out and talk to people, there are online meetings as well.

 

Call the friends I mentioned earlier when you are feeling like you want to drink. Substitute one addiction with another. Work out, paint, write, draw, play a video game, whatever. Cravings do eventually pass, you just need something to distract you when those cravings come up.

 

Stay away from places that tempt you: Local bars, the wine section of the supermarket, things like that. After long enough, you can go back to the pool hall or whatever and just not want a drink. My aforementioned friend LITERALLY lives directly above a huge bar. He goes down there from time to time and gets something to eat, but that's it. Talk about coming a long way!

 

This friend also kicked coke and weed along with the booze. It CAN be done, and YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

[anya1607307555]

Great to hear of your positive and mature insight. Good luck with your journey. With your mindset you are definitely strong enough to leave alcohol behind and enjoy a healthy, happy future. In times of doubt, remind yourself that you've already been there, you know what a life with alcohol brings you. There's nothing to miss, only much to gain.