She doesn't know what she wants.

[Brando442]

My ex partner and I had a beautiful 4 week trip to Africa at a game park. When we got back she ended it. She gave two reasons one was because she couldn't deal with the crap anymore which was our arguing over little stuff etc because of my insecurities and her being stressed about things so it was a double whammy of being at each other. I was getting help with my insecurities and she said I was improving but I suppose it was too late for her. And the other reason was she doesn't know what she wants anymore, but she does know she doesn't want to be here anymore. Here being in Australia, She's always had dreams of working in Africa etc even before we committed to each other and she needs to know what she wants etc.

 

So, currently we agreed to NC. I'm obviously hurting because I'm telling myself its my fault, shes making up excuses, blah blah and in the back of my mind I think there is a glimmer of hope of getting back together, I constantly think she was the one she was my first love and first for a lot of things. We clicked on a level unimaginable we were more than lovers we were best friends could do anything to each other. eventhough we only were together for a year.

 

I guess what i'm saying is what do you guys think. Is this just her wanting to follow her dreams? Are the chances of us getting back together in my favour? Is it my fault?

[melancholy123]

It sounds to me like she is wanting to find herself, it doesnt sound like it's your fault. Keep dealing with your insecurities, get therapy if you need it.

[kbbcoop77]

Fault doesn't matter...if someone wants out they unfortunately have that right even though it sucks and someone gets hurt. Imagine if you were with someone and deep down you wanted out for whatever reason..you would leave. I know it hurts but it's human nature..look at the divorce rates...look at these boards...just take lessons from this one and remember one door closes but another will open!

[gebaird]

Is it my fault?

 

Sometimes relationships don't work out. You can blame her, or you can blame yourself, but what good will it do? Blame won't bring her back. It sounds like she wants something you can't give her (unless your dream is also to work in Africa). She made a choice and you are hurting as a result.

 

I'd maintain no contact and start the process of healing. It doesn't sound to me like she is coming back.