Love eachother but neither prepared to move :(

[jessika22]

Hi all,

 

Really just need some advice

 

Me and my ex have been broken up for 3 months now. 1.5 months in he came back but my head was confused so i wasnt actually sure what i wanted anymore so he went. My ex moved from birmingham to london for me but he has gone back home 3 times due to splitting up or over arguements/situations a majority on my behalf. Anyway so we decided to meet again and everything was perfect, and it made us fall for eachother all over again. But the problem is he will not move back down here, he wants me to move there. My mum is going through a hard time and i really need to be there for her and i also have a stable good paid career. He doesnt have a career. In the past i have fallen out with his family and they get involved in all our arguements so only thing i also think of is the bullying from them if i do go and live up there. We both cried when we left eachother yesturday as we knew distance was the only thing keeping us apart. He said he does not want to move back as he has done it before. I have said i will move away from the area i am in now and start fresh in a new area with him but just somewhere where i can still go to work. We are both crazy for eachother but in my heart of hearts if i go and live up there i know i will hate it ans hate his family being involved. I will also loose a good job and live 2.5 hours away from my mum. When we first met he offered to move to london as he wanted a fresh start and he did love it. Its just when we argued he always ran back home and now is saying he cant do that again. He doesnt want a weekend relationship which i understand.

 

What do you do when you love someone but cant really be with them

 

Xx

[SherrySher]

Just curious but why do you think this is love when it sounds like all you two did was fight and his family didn't like you?

It's probably for the best that you don't end up together.

[gebaird]

It might feel like the distance is the only thing separating you, but if you decide to live together again (in ANY location), I'm guessing whatever was causing all the fights and breakups will still be there.

 

I think your best option is to let this guy go and look for someone you can both love AND live with, in a committed relationship. This on again/off again dynamic is not the kind of pattern that leads to long-term relationship success. Don't give up a good job for him. There are just too many risks.

[Heidi8484]

I would say continue the long distance a few more months see how things go, there needs to be a mutual agreement that your problems stay between the two of you, no family getting involved and in a few months if things are still good then bring up relocating again.