Making a break up worse than it actually is

[Brando442]

So my girlfriend decided she couldn't take the relationship anymore. My anxiety and Insecurities plus her issues pushed her past it also the fact she doesn't know what she wants anymore. She knows she wants to follow her dreams of moving to Africa and what not Which I respect. And I understand my issues on top of her issues also contributed to this happening, I was seeing my therapist for help and my partner admitted I was getting better. But i guess it was too late, We kept arguing. There was a time I was mad I was never violent with her and she lunged at me to calm me down by grabbing me but she accidentally grabbed my throat and I freaked out because of it and grabbed hers back but instantly let go as I seen what I was doing. That image scars me to the point of me being ashamed of myself as a man and a human being.

 

We were together for a year, My first love. This was decided a day after we got back from conservation in Africa. Its the worst feeling i've ever felt. I constantly tell myself Its all my fault only I contributed to it ending. And I constantly can't see myself ever finding anyone who I'll ever connect with like I did with her, We were so open and could do anything and everything to each other. Bodily functions didn't gross us out. She'd want to pick my back. I had this thing where I would play with her feet etc. We just had something extremely unique and I feel like I won't find someone like that. The last thing I want to do is compare everyone to her, But I worry about missing those things forever even if I get in a new relationship, I feel like she was the one and thats it for me. by the way i'm 22.

My insecurities were due to past relationships having being cheated on by party girls and I vowed not to date anymore like that. and she wasn't like that but I was always asking if she was going to drink and stuff like that when she went out with friends. I trusted her but I was just insecure. I feel like theres no other girl who doesn't party and do everything i've mentioned and I blew it

 

Should I try a dating app or something not for dating just for something social? I don't know

 

I'm continuing my therapy. And starting crossfit next week.

[rich46]

Should I try a dating app

No. Work on your issues first.

 

or something not for dating just for something social?

Yes. Something like Meet Up where you can meet new people with fresh activities, hobbies, etc.

[Ms Darcy]

Agree with Rich. If insecurity helped kill this relationship, then you should work on your insecurity first before trying to get into another relationship.