She broke up with me...She is with someone else... I need to find some peace!

[PioneerHero]

She and I got together at the end of my 12th. We were both preparing for the engineering entrance exams and got to know each other form the incessant texting that we used to do. She was my everything and during the 5 years that we were together (in LDR), I grew fond of her. She was caring and attentive and the best sweet girl one can ever have.

I went for an internship due to which the whole story changed. I got busy alot.. really busy.. she couldnt take this as I was not able to be in contact with her.. she had problems getting placed, bombed her CAT exam yet I couldnt be there to support her as I was suffering from the same situation and I was naive enough to handle the situation properly... during the end, she called me to meet her in her college but I was too eager to visit my home since I had not been there since the 6 months of internship. She was heart broken that I did not visit her but at that time I couldnt fathom the seriousness of the situation. Since the last December, she told me that it was over but I was of the impression that she would return back once we are in the city in which we were both placed luckily.

Now, when we met in this new city, I thought our problems would get sorted out and we ll be together as a couple in the same place that we had been longing for 5 years. But to my utter astonishment, she told me that there was some other guy - a guy from her college - whom she kissed and went out just after the break up. I was devastated... literally i had the terrible anxiety I ever have had in my life.. I have not contacted her since then ...I do feel a little better since the last month .. but I sometimes feel that she would come back ... I just cannot believe that someone who was so loyal to me...so caring for me..could do such a disgusting thing...how could she?

[SherrySher]

You should have visited her

[gebaird]

I'm so sorry for your heartbreak. It sounds to me like there were too many other things going on in your life, and you kept putting her at the bottom of your priority list. You thought she'd always be there, and now she's not. Lesson learned, right? Never take someone you love for granted. There will always be exams and internships and jobs and bills, but love between two people can die if it isn't nurtured.

 

Take this lesson into your next relationship. Cherish every moment.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately you found out the hard way that building someone up in your mind for 5 yrs in a LDR before ever meeting can be a rude awakening. Date local girls at college so you know who you are dealing with.

She was my everything and during the 5 years that we were together (in LDR), I grew fond of her. when we met in this new city, I thought our problems would get sorted out and we ll be together as a couple in the same place that we had been longing for 5 years. But to my utter astonishment, she told me that there was some other guy - a guy from her college - whom she kissed and went out just after the break up.

[PioneerHero]

I'm so sorry for your heartbreak. It sounds to me like there were too many other things going on in your life, and you kept putting her at the bottom of your priority list. You thought she'd always be there, and now she's not. Lesson learned, right? Never take someone you love for granted. There will always be exams and internships and jobs and bills, but love between two people can die if it isn't nurtured.

 

Take this lesson into your next relationship. Cherish every moment.

 

Hi thank u for ur reply ... I cannot understand her behaviour though. She was in constant contact with me this whole time after the break up. And suddenly she dropped this bomb that she is with someone else. If she was with someone else then y be in contact with me this whole time ? And do you think the no contact will make her realise the importance of me . I know the no contact us for my own healing but this girl was planning to marry me .. This was the level of seriousness we had . N how could she move on so easily ? We literally grew up together ...

[eldasensei]

Pioneer how old are the both of you?

 

btw this is not all your fault. LDR can allready be hard as it comes, especially if you haven't seen eachother for a long time. For her to immediately throw herself unto someone else after breaking up does say something about her character.

- Sounds like she needed attention rather then putting you on the backburner.

- Sounds like she did this out of loneliness. She might've been in need of affection. This can make her easily vulnerable for any local guy out there.

- Apparently she wasn't loyal enough or maybe wanted to appear as loyal. This also counts for you, it's how you interpret loyal. Maybe from her eyes you stopped investing in the relationship.

- Maybe a factor of incompatibility was in play.

 

But I think there is more here than meets the eye, especially coming from a 5 year relationship if both of you are still young. Wouldn't suprise me if she would say that this is all your fault. Don't believe that nonsense. A relationship goes both ways. I would not dulge in false hopes. IMO You're selling yourself too short if you do.

 

You lived and learned.

[PioneerHero]

Pioneer how old are the both of you?

 

btw this is not all your fault. LDR can allready be hard as it comes, especially if you haven't seen eachother for a long time. For her to immediately throw herself unto someone else after breaking up does say something about her character.

- Sounds like she needed attention rather then putting you on the backburner.

- Sounds like she did this out of loneliness. She might've been in need of affection. This can make her easily vulnerable for any local guy out there.

- Apparently she wasn't loyal enough or maybe wanted to appear as loyal. This also counts for you, it's how you interpret loyal. Maybe from her eyes you stopped investing in the relationship.

- Maybe a factor of incompatibility was in play.

 

But I think there is more here than meets the eye, especially coming from a 5 year relationship if both of you are still young. Wouldn't suprise me if she would say that this is all your fault. Don't believe that nonsense. A relationship goes both ways. I would not dulge in false hopes. IMO You're selling yourself too short if you do.

 

You lived and learned.

 

Hi u r really giving me some nice replies that are helping me to figure out the situation. As u asked we are both 23. I used to visit her campus every semester and used to have such awesome times.. The thing that kills me is that she kept on being in contact for six months after the break up and did not tell me about her new bf. When I asked her if she had a new person in her life she told me in a confused way. I think that guy being smarter than me physically ( not professionally I earn way more than him and in a very better mnc) that made her attracted to him. Oh I just can't stop thinking that how this guy would have manipulated my baby girl to be away from me.. They kissed oh my god! Can I ever move on??? I know I ll not trust her ever again then y has she become a drug to me ... She is always in my mind ... The worst thing is that I feel that I won't get any girl again since I m not living my life well who is going to get attracted to me ...😭

[PioneerHero]

Thanks I did not know that ..

[eldasensei]

Hi u r really giving me some nice replies that are helping me to figure out the situation. As u asked we are both 23. I used to visit her campus every semester and used to have such awesome times.. The thing that kills me is that she kept on being in contact for six months after the break up and did not tell me about her new bf. When I asked her if she had a new person in her life she told me in a confused way. I think that guy being smarter than me physically ( not professionally I earn way more than him and in a very better mnc) that made her attracted to him. Oh I just can't stop thinking that how this guy would have manipulated my baby girl to be away from me.. They kissed oh my god! Can I ever move on??? I know I ll not trust her ever again then y has she become a drug to me ... She is always in my mind ... The worst thing is that I feel that I won't get any girl again since I m not living my life well who is going to get attracted to me ...😭

 

PioneerHero. We are not talking facts here but I also have to say that you've put her too much on a pedestal. You asume the guy has manipulated your ex, but maybe she "wanted" to be manipulated by him? If this was ever the case that is.

 

As I understand it, she got with the guy right after the breakup while not giving you any hints of it in those six months contact. Well...thats just messed up. Sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. Like I said it does say something about her character. Imagine you're going in a relationship with someone and that person is still talking with the ex while being in a relationship with you, for six months. Trust me you give this person too much credit, but she might really be a baby girl.

 

And yes you will move on even though it doesnt feel like that at the beginning. Trust me lots of people have been in your shoes and found a better life after. Most of them might have been even thankfull of the breakup while in the beginning they never thought they would feel normal again.

 

The breakup has taken a toll on your selfworth. It's normal. Thats why, in the meantime, you should put your focus on you. This will take some time. But it is worth it. Take care of yourself and the rest will follow.

[PioneerHero]

Hi eldasensei, ur replies are really awesome and to the point . It's just that I think she was the only good thing in my life . I was so comfortable with her through these years and now when she is gone I m like anxious all te time. I m pretty good in studies and now I can't focus on that... I feel I won't get some one like her I know this is a childish thought. Before her I had one gf and though I wasn't attached to her that well I had the same feelings of loneliness after her but The next one came and I became comfortable with her. So I know when I ll be with a new girl that rapport will be formed in time . But really that sense of hope and positivity is dominished. I hope I get back on my feet soon enough and I focus in my job. But that feeling of rejection coupled with her seeing some one new is killing me inside ... I can't believe that her loyalty changed from me to that guy now she tells him about who she is with and what not ...I hope I get over her soon ...

[PioneerHero]

PioneerHero. We are not talking facts here but I also have to say that you've put her too much on a pedestal. You asume the guy has manipulated your ex, but maybe she "wanted" to be manipulated by him? If this was ever the case that is.

 

As I understand it, she got with the guy right after the breakup while not giving you any hints of it in those six months contact. Well...thats just messed up. Sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. Like I said it does say something about her character. Imagine you're going in a relationship with someone and that person is still talking with the ex while being in a relationship with you, for six months. Trust me you give this person too much credit, but she might really be a baby girl.

 

And yes you will move on even though it doesnt feel like that at the beginning. Trust me lots of people have been in your shoes and found a better life after. Most of them might have been even thankfull of the breakup while in the beginning they never thought they would feel normal again.

 

The breakup has taken a toll on your selfworth. It's normal. Thats why, in the meantime, you should put your focus on you. This will take some time. But it is worth it. Take care of yourself and the rest will follow.

 

 

Hi eldasensei, ur replies are really awesome and to the point . It's just that I think she was the only good thing in my life . I was so comfortable with her through these years and now when she is gone I m like anxious all te time. I m pretty good in studies and now I can't focus on that... I feel I won't get some one like her I know this is a childish thought. Before her I had one gf and though I wasn't attached to her that well I had the same feelings of loneliness after her but The next one came and I became comfortable with her. So I know when I ll be with a new girl that rapport will be formed in time . But really that sense of hope and positivity is dominished. I hope I get back on my feet soon enough and I focus in my job. But that feeling of rejection coupled with her seeing some one new is killing me inside ... I can't believe that her loyalty changed from me to that guy now she tells him about who she is with and what not ...I hope I get over her soon ...