Getting perspectives on such a break up

[BecomeStronger]

I have been with this lady for 6 months and she dumped me a month ago saying that she is unable to see me more than a friend. There were attractions right at the start. After one particular incident in which I react negatively, that was the turning point for her. She (being the dumper) went NC after the break (I do not understand why she needs to go NC when I should be the one hurting). She mentioned that it was a decision that she arrived at after thinking for some time and it is not one she did on impulse nor was it a matter she took lightly.

 

I'm into the 3rd week of NC after 2 weeks of LC. Coping well so far and working on myself.

 

What are the chances or has anyone heard of such cases where the dumper has taken time to arrive at the decision to want to reconcile after some time? Though in my case I am quite sure it is a done deal.

[SkellyWoozle]

Well, if she's not got in touch after 2 weeks, and she's told you she just wants to be friends (the lazy way out!) then I would suggest that it's a done deal. I'd leave it be, tbh. You were "only" together for 6 months and you mention she'd been thinking about it for some time - how long was that, I wonder? She's taken the easy option, I'm afraid. Don't wallow and hang around waiting. Get out there and find someone who likes you for you, wants to be with you and can be open and honest. Good luck X

[BecomeStronger]

I know right? I'm not sitting around and waiting for her. I'm moving on and should she wants to fix things, I'll let her come to me, else I am good on my own.

[SkellyWoozle]

Good! Her loss, eh? Get out there and have fun! X

[Wiseman2]

What were the real reasons for the breakup? What was this pivotal incident? It was only 6 mos. Being friends or staying in contact is not a good idea.

I have been with this lady for 6 months and she dumped me a month ago saying that she is unable to see me more than a friend. After one particular incident in which I react negatively, that was the turning point for her.

[BecomeStronger]

She has a past where she felt betrayed by her ex. In the pivotal incident which happened, we were planning to go on a trip and I have made most of the plans when she pulled out last minute. In the heat of the moment, I said something insensitive along the line of bringing another woman with me. She broke down and cried after that. We did have a good talk the following morning and I clarified that it is not real but in her head her reasoning is that if I can say it, I am capable of doing it.

 

That incident was the turning point for her in the relationship.

 

For the moment I am giving her all the space she needs and perhaps reach out to her again in either 3 months or 6 months time. In the meantime, I will move on and focus on myself. If she and I are meant to meet again down the road, it will happen.