Girl im trying to have a relationship with is seeing seeing someone else.

[Voids]

Hey guys, this is my first time on this forum, just looking for some advice on what I should do next. Through conversation I ve found out that the girl ive been wanting to ask out has a guy who is "a little more than a friend." Through more conversation here and there I ve found that they ve gone on a few dates a "lil bit" and nothing is "going on." Finding this out was seriously demotivating as I am a guy who I think gets jealous a little easy. Any tips on what i can do to? Obviously i need to make her more interested in me than she is him but should i even? Or am i just wasting my time since Im looking more into an actual relationship and not just a friend with benefits or some one night stand type of . Is this a sign that she may not be mature enough for a proper (and hopefully long term) relationship and doesn't want one? Should I ask her out to dinner or something at TGI Fridays or something? Should i bail even though I don't want to? I'm really just confused as to what to do. Any serious advice would be greatly appreciated. If I do proceed, any tips on how I can make sure she'll find me more interesting and want to see me again?

 

FYI she's 19, I'm 21.

[ThatwasThen]

If you've been "wanting to ask her out" then how come you haven't? I think that the best way to win over a girl is to be confident and to just ask her out. If she turns you down then you have the gift of reasoning out that now you can get on with your romantic life and start pursuing other girls you'd like to ask out. If she says "yes" well then "yeah" You go on out with her, be fun and confident and show her at the end of the date that you want more then to be her friend by giving her a nice kiss on the lips if she seems the least bit open to that.

 

Good luck.

[gebaird]

Yes! By all means ask her out! She might say no, but she might say yes.

 

Not all dates, kisses and conversations lead to an LTR, but all LTRs start with dates, kisses and conversations. If that's what you are looking for, take the first step and see where it goes.

[Wiseman2]

Yes ask her out, that will accomplish a few things..determine her interest, determine her availability and if she agrees it gets the ball rolling and doesn't put you in the friendzone or any other nebulous position. You could try something simpler like coffee/drinks also.

Should I ask her out to dinner or something at TGI Fridays or something? FYI she's 19, I'm 21.

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[reinventmyself]

Whoa. . way overthinking this one!

She has had a couple dates with a guy and you are throwing in the towel and consider her possibly not being mature enough?

You need to seriously rethink this one.

 

You are not in competition with anyone and you haven't asked her out yet. You don't need to `make' her like you more than this other guy.

You just show up and be who you are and you both get decide whether or not you are a fit for further dates. That's how dating works.

Forget the `other guy'

 

You've already forecasted as to whether she is relationship material prior to getting to know her, becoming better friends and dating.

What makes you think she would even consider a fwb and one night stand situation?

 

This issues here are not with her but your frame of reference about the whole process of dating.

[SkellyWoozle]

What reinventmyself said... you need to slow down! Firstly, you have to see how the land lies. What makes you think she's going to choose you over him in the first place?! If you want to ask her out, then do it. Just be prepared for both positive and negative reactions. You also mentioned that you get jealous - you need to nip that one in the bud too. A huge turn off if you ask me.

 

So, ask her out and see what happens. No more, no less. It's not a competition to "get the girl".