Lost a friend... . . . .not sure why

[bellalady]

My bestfriend and I work at the airport together. But for different companies. My supervisor had been bugging me for days because she said she believed my bestfriend was talking with her husband secretly. I assured her for days my bestfriend wouldn't do that. She said she seen her husband messaging her. Finally I asked my bestfriend but it was more for reassurance as I was sure she wasn't doing this. My bestfriend blew up at me for even asking her. This was a week or two ago

 

 

I had a trip planned for my my birthday which was this past Sunday. I was supposed to go to LA with my supposed bestfriend. I work for an airline so I fly free. She knows someone who works for the airline who placed her on his benefits so therefore she flies free as well.

 

The bumper to my car was held together by tape and has been for years (lol). I am moving into my own apartment soon and it's always been a burden for me to get the car fixed before I move and also I just was tired of driving that car like that. So as a birthday gift to myself I paid for the car to be fixed and my dad got me a new radio installed in the car as a birthday gift to me. I was working lots of hours to pay for this because it was something I wanted done for years. She texted me and said that maybe we should go to LA later in the month because of how much money I was spending. I was sad but getting my car repaired and moving into my apartment was a better gift to me.

 

I wanted to at least go for a day trip because I wanted to go to this nice restaurant for my bday. I kept texting her asking if she wanted to go and she My supposed close friend that was going to LA with us I kept asking her to come to la for a day for my birthday and she wasn't responding to my text. The day before I was supposed to leave she texted me and asked me if I'd want to go to the Bahamas and I said that I still was going to la for a day and that I really wanted her to come. Again, she never texted back. I was confused by this because I didn't have money to stay in la for the weekend why would have money for the Bahamas? I eventually decided not to go anywhere and just save my money.

The next morning she posted on her snapchat pics of herself at the beach. Meaning she took another trip. I was very hurt by this. I feel she just didn't want to travel with me She texted me happy birthday and I responded "thanks!! I wish I was with you guys". She of course ignored me. One of my friends in LA sent me a long text and I posted it on Instagram because it melted my heart and it made me feel better. I captioned the pic basically saying she's a good friend and I'm lucky to have her.

 

Yesterday I had been texting my friend all day and no response. I don't return to work until Saturday so I haven't seen her. One of my coworkers at work (who doesn't even know of her and my friendship) mentioned that they seen my ex (I posted about him previously) walking with her. I then mentioned that she's my bestfriend and he said it only looked like casual conversation and that it only seemed like they happened to run into eachother while leaving. This bugged me.... ALOT. So I texted her and asked is she mad at me and why isn't she responding. She sent this ....

 

 

I'm not mad. But in all honesty I think that we can be cool but that's about it. I don't like drama and I'm very protective over my space and the energy that I keep around. Several situations that have occur lately I'm just not ok with and therefore, I want to keep my distance.

 

 

She sent me this around 1am this morning. I felt so sad. I didn't really understand what I've done. I even considered that maybe my ex told her things about me. I asked the guy who seen them walking and he said it honestly looked like they were having casual conversation that's all. I blocked her from everything and deleted her phone number because I'm not a negative person and to basically call me that and then say we can be "cool" was rude. I don't have to beg to be anyone's friend. Can anyone interpret why she flipped like this??

[agent1607307371]

You asked her if she was trying to have an affair with someone else's husband. And made passive aggressive internet posts.

[bellalady]

I didn't really ask her in that way. It was more like "no I'm sure she's not doing that" type of thing. I only was asking her for reassurance. And honestly it wasn't even me ASKING her it was more like "hey she keeps asking me if you're talking with her husband I told her she may have you mixed up" I was expecting more of a laughing about it type thing because in the past we've laughed about situations like that.

[SherrySher]

Agree with agent..it was not your business about the supervisor and furthermore asking her about it...it was unnecessary drama that you shouldn't have been a part of.

[bellalady]

Agree with agent..it was not your business about the supervisor and furthermore asking her about it...it was unnecessary drama that you shouldn't have been a part of.

 

I know, my supervisor would not stop bugging me about it. It had been weeks that passed and she just wouldn't stop leave in me about it.

[madmax]

Agreed with Agent. Also spendin time on La with you, she knew you'd bring this up. She wants to have fun instead of hearing all that. Which is why she went to bahamas,

 

My advice- Dont text her everyday or even anymore. Give her some space and let her open up to you. It can take weeks or months. If she doesnt then leave a text apologizing and showing how badly u misjudged. Who knows maybe after that she'll finally be honest with you.

[bellalady]

I wouldn't have brought that up tho. After that one conversation we didn't talk about that anymore. At all

[Wiseman2]

Let her cool off. Accusing someone of an affair and blaming the supervisor for this accusation was in very poor judgement. No one is obligated to accept invitations, particularly when they declined in advance.

 

She texted you happy bday, honestly that's all anyone should have to do. The innuendo on social media was silly as well. Have realistic expectations from friends. Learn to be honest, forthcoming, gracious and stop the gossip/rumor mongering. To have good friends, you have to try to be one.

I asked my bestfriend but it was more for reassurance as I was sure she wasn't doing this. My bestfriend blew up at me for even asking her. I was supposed to go to LA with my supposed bestfriend. She texted me and said that maybe we should go to LA later in the month because of how much money I was spending. She texted me happy birthday I captioned the pic basically saying she's a good friend and I'm lucky to have her.

[Andrina]

Besides what's already been said, never have important conversations over text. Save that for in person or an actual call. Asking her if she was mad is an example. Maybe you could've gotten answers to your unanswered questions and maybe come to a better understanding or reconciliation. You've probably learned your lesson now that when a person presses you to find out info from another person, to put your foot down and tell them you're not being pulled into that situation.

[SkellyWoozle]

Sorry to say but I agree with the others. Your boss had no right to get you to do her dirty work for her and you should have told her to get stuffed and not said anything to your friend. Maybe she's guilty,maybe she isn't, but it wasn't your place to say anything. In fact, I'd be more annoyed at your boss than your best friend for putting you in the situation in the first place. VERY naughty. Give it time and see what happens. Good luck X

 

PS Facebook isn't the best place to have a go either..... should be banished to the pits of the universe!

[j.man]

She gave you a very clear answer. She didn't go off on you or tell you she never wants to hang out again. I nearly gagged when I read that you brought her into your boss' drama, even if as a [bad] joke. "I really don't pry into her romantic life" was all that needed saying, regardless of how much your boss might have bugged you. There are countless diplomatic ways you could tell her to "stuff it" while keeping your nose clean.

 

It could be that I've got a guy's mentality, but between involving her in that, and the passive aggressiveness, I wouldn't get too close to that kind of personality. But it seems your friend is like-minded. But, really, this does seem to be you. There are plenty of other women like you. Not my kind of thing, but not necessarily saying you're wrong to be you. You may just be better off with closer friends who are bit more on the sappy and dramatic side.

[bellalady]

Sorry to say but I agree with the others. Your boss had no right to get you to do her dirty work for her and you should have told her to get stuffed and not said anything to your friend. Maybe she's guilty,maybe she isn't, but it wasn't your place to say anything. In fact, I'd be more annoyed at your boss than your best friend for putting you in the situation in the first place. VERY naughty. Give it time and see what happens. Good luck X

 

PS Facebook isn't the best place to have a go either..... should be banished to the pits of the universe!

 

I AM mad at my boss

[bellalady]

She gave you a very clear answer. She didn't go off on you or tell you she never wants to hang out again. I nearly gagged when I read that you brought her into your boss' drama, even if as a [bad] joke. "I really don't pry into her romantic life" was all that needed saying, regardless of how much your boss might have bugged you. There are countless diplomatic ways you could tell her to "stuff it" while keeping your nose clean.

 

It could be that I've got a guy's mentality, but between involving her in that, and the passive aggressiveness, I wouldn't get too close to that kind of personality. But it seems your friend is like-minded. But, really, this does seem to be you. There are plenty of other women like you. Not my kind of thing, but not necessarily saying you're wrong to be you. You may just be better off with closer friends who are bit more on the sappy and dramatic side.

 

I wouldn't like to be called sappy or dramatic.... But I appreciate you sharing your opinion and your take on it

[Wiseman2]

Best answer for nutty non work-related inquiries like that is "I have no idea". Stay out of the boss's craziness.. Passing that accusation onto your friend "for reassurances" was just weird.

I AM mad at my boss

[bellalady]

Best answer for nutty non work-related inquiries like that is "I have no idea". Stay out of the boss's craziness.. Passing that accusation onto your friend "for reassurances" was just weird.

 

I said that so many times. She was was asking me over and over for weeks

[Wiseman2]

So? Why weasel out of taking responsibility for accusing your friend on your bosses behalf when you could have said "I don't know". Sorry, it sounds like you would rather gossip and brown-nose than have friends.

I said that so many times. She was was asking me over and over for weeks

[bellalady]

So? Why weasel out of taking responsibility for accusing your friend on your bosses behalf when you could have said "I don't know". Sorry, it sounds like you would rather gossip and brown-nose than have friends.

 

I've acknowledged that I shouldn't have asked her a bunch. To her and my boss several times. But I don't appreciate being called a brown noser or anything like that because it's very disrespectful and you don't know me at all. I wasn't intending on trying to "weasel" out of any responsibility. I've said I was wrong for even asking like twenty times. I even told my supervisor that I should've just made her ask herself. I certainly don't care about gossip. Or the gossip part about it! That conversation was a one time thing. My friend and I even talked it out afterwards. I didn't invite myself into the conversation or the situation. I was constantly asked over and over to ask my friend. I appreciate your input but if you're going to be disrespectful and call names then I really don't want your advice. And besides I think I've gotten all the advice I need.

[mbc230]

This one is easy. People hate confrontation. So therefore there defense mechanism is to just ignore you so they can avoid the truth or issue. I hope things are better for you.

[j.man]

I even told my supervisor that I should've just made her ask herself.

You say you're not about the gossip or the drama, but why did you yet again engage your boss on the matter?