As boyfriend was said his ex gf is in a new relationship already

[CalamityJane]

Hello,

This is other situation I would like to get advised.

After a conflicted 2 years relationship, the boyfriend broke up without a final conversation, just saying it seemed he didn't feel anything anymore. Even althiugh he was asked for be apart in a nc period he texted a few times. The answers were distant and then he stopped texted and when he tried again his attitude was distant and very cold.

 

To resume, a few days ago it happened a very bad emails shared. The ex girlfriend wanted to remain friends he didnt want to. Then she wrote him lots of reproach about how bad the relationship was for her and told him to be left alone ever after because she was moving on and had a new job and new love.

She has to pick her stuff up from his place and told him to go with her new th. Then he told he didn't have any desire to see her again so she could go when he was not there. He said he was happy because her found job and love and had not any intention in contacting her. After that, in whatsapp he said again congratulations for job and love and he was truly sorry she did feel the way she did and he will think of the past 2 years more fondly.

 

I have to say, it's not true she has a new boyfriend... I have no idea why she said that, maybe just because anger.

 

My question is: if she want to stay friends with him or recover him in some way. Was it the best idea to say that?

 

Is that a way to recover an ex saying you're in a new relationship even if that's just a rebound??

 

Thank you for all your opinions!

Regards.

[gebaird]

Maybe she was trying to make him jealous, but it's a dangerous game that could easily backfire. Kind of like telling your boss you are quitting in an attempt to get a raise. You might get the raise, but you could just as easily be shown the door.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like he's not done with her and has a lot of unfinished business with her. If he wanted to go no contact and block her, he would...but he wants to stay "friends" with her.

She has to pick her stuff up from his place and told him to go with her new th. Then he told he didn't have any desire to see her again so she could go when he was not there. My question is: if she want to stay friends with him or recover him in some way.

Same guy?

[CalamityJane]

It sounds like he's not done with her and has a lot of unfinished business with her. If he wanted to go no contact and block her, he would...but he wants to stay "friends" with her.Same guy? ]

 

Yes, same guy. This is not matter of a back to the romance but apart from the catastrophic relationship there were lots of things we helped and support each other, in too many aspects. I think with time could be a recovery of that good shares things, not in terms of romance but just a kind of frienship.

I dont know why I said that about a new bf, I just wanted give him a few of his own medicine I guess, I have to admit that when he wrote me in a very angry way telling me he didn't want me see again and then he repited his congrats in whatsapp, I knew he was angry and in some point I felt good about it. I must be a bad person, I know it's not good but I have to admit in that moment I felt good.

 

I guess there is a hidden reason... maybe if I say that I avoid any kind of 'recovery' in romantic terms because HOW MANY CHANCES YOU GET OF BE BACK WITH YOUR EX (who broke you up) WHEN YOU SAID YOU'RE WITH SOMEONE ELSE??? Few? None? Zero?

 

... I can't believe I am in my 40ish and still doing nonsenses like that.... I am a bloody adult person it's guessed!

[Wiseman2]

Games won't help you. If you are jealous of his ex and their ongoing contact say something or end the relationship. If you don't want nonsense don't create nonsense.

I dont know why I said that about a new bf, I just wanted give him a few of his own medicine I guess, I have to admit that when he wrote me in a very angry way telling me he didn't want me see again... I can't believe I am in my 40ish and still doing nonsenses like that.

[CalamityJane]

Maybe she was trying to make him jealous, but it's a dangerous game that could easily backfire. Kind of like telling your boss you are quitting in an attempt to get a raise. You might get the raise, but you could just as easily be shown the door.

 

Honestly, more than jealous she (i) wanted him being angry, and she got it.... it's a stupidity because of you want to get someone you don't say anything to put them get away... bloody impulsivity!!!

 

Probably with that I've been reductant???

What the hell!!

[CalamityJane]

Games won't help you. If you are jealous of his ex and their ongoing contact say something or end the relationship. If you don't want nonsense don't create nonsense.

 

Jealous of his ex??? There is not any 'his ex' that's not the case... anyway it doesn't matter I just wanted to get an opinion and not a summarily judge.

 

Btw you're perfectly right, games won't help anyone but you know, maybe you can think of what a horrible person I am but that's just a nonsense compare with what he did.

 

If course, thank you for your opinion too.

[MissCanuck]

That was an incredibly unwise move. Lying about having a new boyfriend to get a reaction from an ex is plain manipulative.

 

Anyway, what's done is done. It sounds like the relationship needed to end, and now it finally has.

[CalamityJane]

That was an incredibly unwise move. Lying about having a new boyfriend to get a reaction from an ex is plain manipulative.

 

Anyway, what's done is done. It sounds like the relationship needed to end, and now it finally has.

 

Yes it was unwise if she should have wanted any recovery but unconsciously she just wanted to kill any chance to turn back.

Now everything is much better