Am I wrong for not giving him a chance?

[MsLeeSee]

So I usually never online date, however now that I have relocated to another state and don't know anyone, online dating works better for me. So pretty much I recently met this guy on Tinder. Appearance wise, I would say he is a 2 (I know, rude) however I've always been the type to fall for personalities.

 

Basically we've been talking for about 2 weeks and he moves way too fast! We've yet to meet up however he thinks we're in a relationship and constantly shows my pictures, videos and pieces of my text off to his friends and family by posting on Facebook and Instagram and tagging me in them. He also refers to me as "babe" and "my lady" when in fact I am not, yet. He also seems very clingy and a little obsessive over me. He is so kind for caring about me so much, however I still feel like I have options, and I won't settle.

 

So a few days ago, we agreed to finally meet up. I couldn't help but to realize that he kept making up excuses to why we couldn't go "out". Instead he wanted me to go to his house, which instantly was a red flag! After that conversation I begun to fall back a little and move on....He must have caught on to the fact that I was becoming uninterested because he then called me up, crying telling me that the reason he couldn't take me out was because he was BROKE!

 

Now my parents raised me to give all that I can and to expect nothing in return, so him not be able to afford taking me out on a date was not the deal breaker. The thing that got to me was his obsessive "PDA" (public display of affection) inquiries! I am under the impression that he has very low self-esteem, and needs reassurance publicly in order to boost his ego. I know what you guys are thinking....If this guy was attractive, none of the above would matter, or if this guy had money, none of the above would matter. However when I run down the list, there's seems to be too many disadvantages for me, and everything is turning out to be great for him!

 

At this point I honestly feel like I am wrong for not giving him a chance, and will end up with karma, however if I did ride our date out, I know that I will be settling. I just don't know what to do.

 

Any advice?? And I truly apologize, if in fact I've offended anyone. It was not my intention. I just want to make the right decision, and to feel confident in my decisions.

 

Thanks in advance!!

[Almira23]

MsLee,

I think that you are right in not giving him a chance.

He has shown a lot of red flags; obsessive behavior, being clingy, calling you his "lady", "babe" when you two have not even met, and insisting that your dates are at his house.

He doesn't have to take you out to a restaurant or to the movie theatre for you two to go on a date. There are plenty of 1st date things that you can do that require very little money or if any at all.

You two could go to a park and have a picnic, take a stroll in the mall, get ice cream, take a walk somewhere with a scenic route, etc.

The point that I am getting to here is that he seems more occupied with showing you off as his conquest and getting you into bed.

I would advise him that his behavior is making you uncomfortable and that you no longer want to speak to him

You do not owe him anything. He isn't your significant other.

[Wolfshook]

It's ok to say no, you are not obligued to date anyboy,and you will most certainly not be evil if you deny him. Honestly he raises a lot of red flags based on his clingyness. What you should do, is when you let him down tell him that it's because he is too clingy and moves too fast. It will probably hurt him for now but he has to learn somehow, this way you will help him in future relationships.

[Matt3939]

Its fine and happens all the time. You didn't even meet yet. From my experience no one even brings up there financial standing till after they sleep together. BTW I'm being sarastic one lady said that to me. My shortest relationship ever.

[SherrySher]

It's not about his looks or his money, but this man sounds like a creep. He sounds obsessive and calling you "babe, and my lady" when you haven't even met?

And clingy and desperate is not attractive and not what anyone would want in a mate.

Let's be honest here as well, the money thing will be an issue. What is he even on a site for if he can't take a woman out properly for a first date? And there are many things a man could do to take you somewhere if he was short on cash.

Showing your pics and texts to his family and friends?? omg..not only is that not respectful that again is down right creepy and stalkerish.

You don't owe this man anything. If you were smart at all, you would most definitely give this one a pass. No woman in her right mind would want a man like this!

[Sportster2005]

There's no such thing as karma.

 

If you're not interested don't date him. It's that simple.

[limichelle]

It's okay to not date him. It's probably best you don't. If he is creepy obsessive now, imagine after one date? Yikes! I went on an online date many years ago to somebody similar to who you are talking to, hey maybe it's the same guy! Ha! He then planned out our destination wedding that night after our first date!!! Yikes I blocked him on everything and he called me fifteen times non stop! It got to the point I had to threaten police for harassment to him and that did it.

 

So to save you a headache I say be polite but turn him down and run far from this guy.

 

Lisa

[SeptemberSylv]

You shouldn't go out on a date with him.

 

Karma really is a beautiful thing - you'll find someone with better social skills like your ex - he had really good social skills, he even convinced you to sign a 1 year lease then got another girlfriend. He must have been good-looking too, two girls in two months! Sorry to remind you WHY you moved...

 

This socially awkward guy who's not even worthy of meeting will evetually marry a nice thai / filipina mail order bride - it's up to him to make THAT work.

 

Good luck on your search for a handsome, normal 'user'

[MsLeeSee]

It's okay to not date him. It's probably best you don't. If he is creepy obsessive now, imagine after one date? Yikes! I went on an online date many years ago to somebody similar to who you are talking to, hey maybe it's the same guy! Ha! He then planned out our destination wedding that night after our first date!!! Yikes I blocked him on everything and he called me fifteen times non stop! It got to the point I had to threaten police for harassment to him and that did it.

 

So to save you a headache I say be polite but turn him down and run far from this guy.

 

Lisa

 

Omgosh!! Maybe it is the same guy! Hahaha. So I Decided to go on an actual date with him and literally just got in maybe an hour or so ago. Although he was extremely sweet and caring, he couldn't keep his hands off of me and the constant kisses on my neck and cheeks was super annoying. After our date he said "if I had my way, I'd marry you, and if you told me yes, I'd be the happiest guy on the planet". I'm like, marriage?? You're not even getting a 2nd date. Again, he was very sweet, but not for me. Thanks for all of your responses!!

[MsLeeSee]

Lol...I hear what you mean! You guys were so right! I ended up going on a date anyways with him since sometime, things may be expressed wrong or interpreted incorrectly. He is definitely a guy who most likely has not been with a woman in years. Our first contact, he gives me flowers and I then greet him with a hug, and then it happens!! He gently sucked/kissed my neck. At that point, I wanted to leave, however I still gave it 2nd go (stupid me...I know!). So now we go to a comedy show, to see a comedy by the name of Lavell Crawford do stand up! Of course the show was super hilarious however the entire time, my date just stared at me with a smile on his face. So freaking awkward to have an unattractive guy stare at you! *cries out loud*. He then began passing me notes he wrote on a piece of paper that had my first name and his last name. Now I am done!! I expressed to him that it was time for me to go, then he made fun of me saying that I was too old for a curfew. Despite the fact that he was wayyyy too affectionate, he was really nice! I wish I can insert a photo all all of the bouquets of flowers he left for me, but I can't and with that being said, he's just not for me! Any takers?? Haha...