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8 year relationship and his immediate rebound- please help


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Hi everyone,


I'm really feeling sad writing this. I was with my ex for 8 years. Last Christmas I found out he has cheated on me- I left him. I was so broken that I thought I would never be able to function normally again. He begged for another chance but somehow, through the love and support of my family and friends, i ignored his pleas. Three weeks after I left he starting dating again and is still with the same girl- 8 months later. Is this a rebound?


The failings of the relationship were both of our faults with hindsight, though he shouldn't have cheated. I miss him so much still. Last week he messaged me out of the blue saying he loves me, he would be mine again in a minute if he was given the chance etc....

But he is also in a 8 month relationship?

I don't know what to think.


Can anyone tell me what they think? After 8 months it's not a rebound right?


Thanks so much!

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Let me get this straight. He cheated on you after 8 years, now is in a new relationship of 8 months and is being unfaithful to her by texting you on the DL saying he loves you?


Sounds like he'd just cheat on her with you, and the cycle begins again.


Forget this guy. The failing of your relationship was mainly his fault because he cheated. Cheaters will cheat even if the relationship was perfect. That is what you have to understand. Surround yourself with the same family and friends who got your through his initial pleas again and push past this.

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Oh hell no. It means he got dumped. Once you take someone back after cheating/dumping they think "wow that was easy, just call it quits whenever I want, fool around and then go back"

Last week he messaged me out of the blue saying he loves me, he would be mine again in a minute if he was given the chance etc.... But he is also in a 8 month relationship?
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After 8 months it's not a rebound right?


Any relationship that starts too soon after a bad ending is by definition a rebound. It doesn't matter how long it lasts. The baggage from his previous relationship was never resolved. The fact that he is now reaching out to you is proof of that!


I'm sure a part of you wants him back, and is tempted to accept his offer. But just remember that the bad stuff is inseparable from the good stuff. His offer is proof that he hasn't changed his cheating ways!


Don't settle for counterfeit love. Block him and keep looking for the real thing.

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He is a cheater, as he proved to you over and over again. You'd be foolish to take him back, as I can't imagine ever being able to trust him. Look at what he did to you, look at what he's doing to his current girlfriend...don't try to justify it by thinking she's just a rebound, because 8 months in is not a rebound.

Keep steering clear of him and move on to a better guy.

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After eight months whether or not it's a rebound is irrelevant... after eight months, or indeed eight minutes, you need to put this cheating, two-timing jerk out of your life and leave him there. He's showing you really clearly how he operates.


I hope you didn't respond to his message. Unless, of course, you want to be his number two girl while they're all over each other on Facebook.

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How could he be in a relationship and message you I love you's?? Men can be so strange. The same thing you left him for is what he is now doing behind his gf's back..betraying his significant other? Do you think he is confused about his feelings? Doesn't he know being in another relationship isn't going to help him sort himself out.


I was in a similar situation years ago. Not with the guy who brought me to this site. I was with a man for about 3 years. It was a very unhealthy relationship. I should have ended it much sooner, but when I finally left, he found himself in another relationship and was still in love with me. He ended up being very torn between 2 women. He would call me late at night. Send me messages saying he still loves me. He was with this other women just to occupy his time, to get away from the breakup, until he got too involved with her. They were together for about 8 months. To this day, he still tells me he loved me and would get back with me if given the chance. Some men can't be alone. The entire time, I knew I was never going back to him. He was no good for me.


All you can do is sit back and let everything take its course. If they last, they last...if they don't, maybe he will realize what he really lost and who he truly loves in the process. We can not run from what's in our hearts. One day or another it catches up. We all have to face what we try to run away from at one point or another. Either way, you both have a much larger issue to deal with if you ever reconnect...the cheating. Can you get over that hurdle?

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Thanks guys! I know, I feel that after all these months I can't find someone that I click with like him. I know the cheating was wrong, we had some problems but that's still no excuse!!

I guess I just miss what i had. Him getting with someone so soon after we broke up and being with her 8 months later really hurts me. Do you think she's his rebound? Or is it more serious? Just feel heartbroken all over again.

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