He's moving a thousand miles away for his dream.

[lesliemadds]

Hi, I posted on here a week ago about an anxiety issue but I have a issue in my personal life and I'm desperate for advice.

 

I just graduated high school and I've always been sort of focused on my work and not my dating life so I didn't date anyone in high school.

 

There's this guy that I've known since I was in first grade and all my life he's just sort of been there in the background. I used to play with him when I was younger and although we weren't best friends we've always had mutual friends. He's just always been there and I didn't even notice. My friends used to joke that he had a huge crush on me but it was never really confirmed and I didn't think it was true.. I've always went to the same schools as him, from elementary to high school and as long as I can remember, he's always been in my life in the background and I never gave it much thought. He was always that goofy mutual friend that I've known forever. Even my mom feels like this was supposed to happen.

 

Recently, after high school graduation we started talking one on one and this summer things have gotten serious. We'd talk all day and it's what I imagined having a guy in my life would be. We have the same passions and like the same movies. It's like we were meant to be friends and we were pushed towards each other but we both just dusted it off. I started connecting the dots and realized that he was right in front of me. I know young love has a reputation, but this feels different. I know there are tons of young people preaching that but this feels like it was the path we were meant to take and we both agree.

 

The issue is, since we just graduated, we're both in a transitional period of our lives. I'm going away to college and he's going to join the navy. It is as cliche as it sounds just like the movies. He's always wanted to go to the navy and he's spent the last six months studying. I'm going to college and I'm staying here. Our friends are telling us to just change our plans to be together but we both know that we're in the threshold of competing our goals and if we do that, it would be irresponsible.

 

I keep looking back and kicking my own butt with the fact that he's always been there but I've been too dumb to notice until it was too late. I keep telling myself that if it's meant to be he will come back into my life by fate but this doesn't help the feeling that I have. I feel like I had a realization and I feel like I'm never going to see him again. But I'm also smart enough to know that if we both do something stupid, it will blow up in our faces. I never asked him to stay because I know he would and I don't want that. It's like now that I'm out of high school and I'm an adult, I feel like the relationship is more valuable and intense than a high school relationship. He isn't going to college, he's going straight into the real world and he'll be able to make more permanent decisions but I'm going to college where there will still be rules and social norms. He tells me that it'll never happen but I'm scared someone who is in a stage in life to make more permanent decision will come along for him and waiting won't be enough. I really want to try this relationship as an adult and not a teenager. I want to be selfish but I can't in this situation because there will always be resentment.

 

Any advice? Sorry it's so long. Hopefully someone will read it and help me out here

[lesliemadds]

We broke up a week ago because it was getting too intense for two people that are leaving next month.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately your friends are giving you horrible and unrealistic advice and confusing you. It sounds like they are thinking about romance movies, not reality. You should both follow your dreams. Rearranging things to stifle each other for a friendship makes no sense.

 

You can't follow him into the navy and he certainly is not going to ruin a promising career to stick around and keep you company. If you are good friends you can stay in touch via social media, why not?

 

Look forward to all the new friends and adventures and opportunities ahead when you go to college. It sounds like you need new and more mature friends anyway.

We'd talk all day and it's what I imagined having a guy in my life would be. I'm going away to college and he's going to join the navy.Our friends are telling us to just change our plans to be together

Same situation?

[ControlDenied]

Never ever make your man to change his plans. Have you heard of the sentence "a great woman is always behind a great man"

ALWAYS ALLOW YOUR MAN TO BECOME GREAT