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I have not had an easy life and almost seven years ago I met a man who I thought I could finally trust. He was kind and seemed sincere. Over the course of the next six years he made me think I was crazy, he devalued me and emotionally tortured me while telling me he loved and cared for me. He made so many promises that I held onto. In April of this year I was on facebook and innocently stumbled onto a profile that turned out to be his new wife. He got married in January of this year! I was still seeing him and I almost died when I saw the pictures of the wedding. I talked to him about it and he threatened me and told me I was crazy and to leave him and his family alone. What the !#*^? I am broken and feel so worthless.

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I'm sorry this is traumatic. You said you were with him 7 years. Was this a LDR? I knew a lady that was dating this guy he would come over and everything for years. Then she got a letter in the mail inviting her to his wedding! You should talk to a professional. Good luck

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What a jerk move by your ex. But, you are a million times better of without this guy who abused you. Agree with the others, very worth seeing a mentatk health professional, and working out some strategies for avoiding guys like that in the future


*jedi hugs*

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I wasn't planning on contacting him and I never said he was coming back. Letting go is not the issue. The issue is that he dragged me thru hell backwards. The damage is severe


This is true.


And now you have a choice in how you handle things.


You can decide that all men are jerks who will break your heart....or you can decide he was a jerk who broke your heart...and you can let him go, move on with your life and be happy.


Based on your thread title, you have some letting go to do (and that's not a judgement....it's always hard when an ex cheats)

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I stuck it out like any other victim of narcissistic sociopathic abuse does. The abuse is so subtle. I thought everything was my fault


The only thing that is your fault is that you allowed yourself to be manipulated by him.


Do not let him continue to control you by continuing to be a victim. He doesn't control you anymore.

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Sorry to hear this it sounds like he was gaslighting you (google it). It's designed to make someone feel crazy so you can live a lie. It sounds like he led you on like a mistress. Was this an arranged marriage for him? Definitely cut him out f your life.

Over the course of the next six years he made me think I was crazy.He got married in January of this year! I was still seeing him and I almost died when I saw the pictures of the wedding
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Do you think he is happy with his new wife? Do you think he truly loves her? Does a narcissistic sociopath stop abusing? Will he leave her in a devastated state like he did me?Why does she deserve better? What is wrong with me?


It sounds like she's getting the "worse" not the "better".


But none of it matters. It's over.


It's time to look into counselling for abused women. Find out how to break the cycle.

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He was a textbook narcissistic sociopath.


I was going to ask this.


It's okay to be in pain now. This is fresh. You don't need to make a choice now as to how you'll act in the future. You have plenty of time to figure that out later. You don't need to get over it or move on now. He sounds like an awful person. Whoever he married is just another victim. Hang in there as you process all of this. You didn't deserve this. And you will be okay. You actually sound pretty together at this point for having gone through what you did.

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