Jonesey0 Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 Well, i had a reminder on my phone about the last time we were together and talked. Two weeks ago when i woke up, there it was on my phone. 11 August 2015. Amazing how time flies. And a how a person who was the main part of my life for 13 years, with whom i talked everyday, never broke up, never been apart from eachother for more than 3-4 days is now a complete stranger, havent spoke to, seen her, texted her for ONE year. 365 days. Unbelievable. And so sad at the same time. Life sometimes really surprises us. If someone told me that we would be without talking to eachother for one year, two years ago, the only reason possible was if on of us had deceased. If she could spend one year without seeing me, without talking to me...we really werent meant to be together, and she never loved me the way i loved her. That i know for sure nowadays. She broke up with me 18 months ago. We were engaged, planning to get married that year of the next one. She told me she lost feelings, that we were more friends than lovers...every breakup clichê you know of. After all this time, i still dont know why. But i stopped trying to understand it a long time ago. And just accept it. We were in limited contact for maybe 5 months, met a few times, always very cordial with eachother. Never touched the subject of the breakup. Then, one year ago, we went for coffee together, which eventually led to dinner in a very romantic restaurant, and we were together for 4 hours. That night felt so great, and i thought it was the beggining of something new. Then i went home alone, our home for the last 5 years, and felt horrible. The next week invited her for a walk with our dog (which stayed with me) and she said she couldnt, because she was going on vacation with her parents. Never contacted her after that. She sent a text two months later asking if everything was good with me and my dog, and at that time i just couldnt answer that. She sent me a happy birthday text this year, and i ignored that too. Didnt wish her happy birthday, which was a couple days after mine. After being in a romantic relationship with someone for so many years, after seeing your entire future with that person, i simply couldnt accept anything other than that. I prefer to cherish the memories of all the great years we had together, than to taint it with a fake friendship. Anyways, just another milestone. A regular day in the office. Now back to my new life, which i hope will surprise me again. But in a positive way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gebaird Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 Way to stay strong, man. Hard, hard things we have to go through sometimes -- and there are no easy answers, ever in a situation like this. But all you can do is let go, move on, rebuild and be grateful you're heart's still beating. Thanks for posting and offering encouragement to others in similar difficult situations. No contact is no fun, but it's better than the alternative of repeatedly having our emotions toyed with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holding on Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 That was beautiful.... I feel that I could have wrote a lot of it myself with the exception that my ex never reached out after our initial 3 month LC period. I guess I was somewhat hoping that she would but she got involved with someone soon after the break up and they just got married a few weeks ago. 1.5 years NC myself and I am amazed at the amount of healing that has occurred over this past year. Congrats on staying strong and moving forward! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gypsybird87 Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 Jonesey, you are so strong. Thank you for sharing this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonesey0 Posted September 16, 2016 Author Share Posted September 16, 2016 A little update on my life, and hopefully some encouragement for the ones still going through the early and awful stages of a breakup. Im 18 months out of a 14 year relationship, with a woman i loved more than myself, and which i thought i would spend my entire life with. Well, been on vacation for the last two weeks, and for the first time since the breakup, i actually noticed that there are other amazing women out there! I know, it took me a while! Heheh Met an amazing girl, and a few days later i caught myself thinking - "i wouldnt trade the chance to know this girl better, even if doesnt work out between us, for my ex to try to come back and reconcile" That made me see that i really have come a long way since the breakup, and that im ready to date and meet other women. Its been some exciting and fun last weeks. For the first time since the breakup, i actually am enjoying being single, the freedom that comes with it. Also got a big promotion in my job, which doesnt hurt 😀 For all of you thinking you wont ever be happy again, YOU WILL. It takes time, it hurts like hell, but you will come out of it a better and stronger person. Trust me, i went to hell and came back to tell the story. All the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkellyWoozle Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 Wishing you every happiness, Jonesy. Sounds like you're ready to have some fun! X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rich46 Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 For the first time since the breakup, i actually am enjoying being single, the freedom that comes with it. Great feeling when the clouds begin to part after the long struggle, isn't it? I've had a great feeling of contentment wash over me of late, and my break up was also 18 months ago. There are a lot of advantages to being single, and after grieving, however long that takes, we should embrace it until someone else comes along. Thanks for the update! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmt6015 Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 Thanks for the post OP, I needed something uplifting. Got my heart broken similarly 7months ago. Divorced about 4 months now. Full NC about 2 months and hurting like hell still from time to time. Truly appreciate the positive updates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonesey0 Posted September 21, 2016 Author Share Posted September 21, 2016 After 18 months, today i almost bumped into my ex. For the first time. Amazing. And our parents live 500m apart, and we go there almost every weekend. It was in a shopping mall, i was entering a store, and she was 50m away from me. With a guy. Holding her hand. Looked way younger than her and me. I think she didnt saw me. It was for the best. Had we crossed paths, i think i would have ignored her. Yesterday, for the first time also, i was driving my car, and when i noticed, her brother was driving the car behind me. First time I saw him. In all these months. He was one of my best friends. This didn't wreck me, but it still hurts. We want to move on, we do everything in our power to let go and move along. But we can't control everything. And these kind of things, even if I try to avoid them at all costs, still can happen. Really, sometimes life really sucks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rich46 Posted September 21, 2016 Share Posted September 21, 2016 After 18 months, today i almost bumped into my ex. For the first time. Amazing. And our parents live 500m apart, and we go there almost every weekend. It was in a shopping mall, i was entering a store, and she was 50m away from me. With a guy. Holding her hand. Looked way younger than her and me. I think she didnt saw me. It was for the best. Had we crossed paths, i think i would have ignored her. Yesterday, for the first time also, i was driving my car, and when i noticed, her brother was driving the car behind me. First time I saw him. In all these months. He was one of my best friends. This didn't wreck me, but it still hurts. We want to move on, we do everything in our power to let go and move along. But we can't control everything. And these kind of things, even if I try to avoid them at all costs, still can happen. Really, sometimes life really sucks! Events like these are just hurdles to jump over along the way - i bet if they happen again, you will be even less bothered by them. Same goes for the first of anything, e.g. the first Christmas post break up, the first ex's birthday post break up, the first time you see her in public post break up, etc. These events may cause temporary setbacks and disturb your progress slightly, but ultimately they are steps to overcome on the road to being healed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonesey0 Posted September 22, 2016 Author Share Posted September 22, 2016 And today i finally blocked her on facebook. She posted a photo on a common friends facebook, drunk, and wearing a shirt my sister gave her like 4 years ago. That made me angry. I thought to myself " I don't know who this person is anymore". Went to her profile, and blocked her. Without a second thought. And it just feels alright. I wish her a good life, but i really don't want to follow her through it. She is not the person I knew and loved anymore. Neither am I. It's time to release the pause button in my life, and press play again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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