He ghosted me with no explanation? I love him?

[sunbby18]

I met this man off the dating site. When we first met things were going amazing. He was super into me from day 1 but I only started getting into him after knowing him for a while. We first started out just dating but then he said that he wants us to be in a relationship. He said that he wants to be my boyfriend. He insisted that I move in with him. The last time I saw him he said how his dream was to marry me and have kids with him in the future. He was the first one to say that he loves me and that he's afraid of the love he has for me. At that point I was not in love with him. He found out that his sister has brain tumor but he still continued seeing me and things were great. The last time I met him (we live in different countries) we were supposed to look up universities for me to attend once I move in with him) but we forgot. I mssged him saying that we forgot to look up unis and he said that we could do that through Skype. He then deactivated his account on the dating site that we met on and I was happy about that as I thought that this means that he wants to be with me. Some time has passed and I message him saying 'could you lend me some money as I found a university in my home town which I'd love to attend but don't have the funds for' I sent him the link of the uni and the price of it. At that time it would be too late for me to be accepted to a school in the country where he lives and I refused to go to a free uni that I've been accepted to in my home country because I thought that I was going to move out of it. After I sent him that I got no response and then I mssged him again asking 'is he willing to help me or no' and he said 'at the moment I can't lend you that amount. Very bad timing' and to that I replied 'I just don't know what to do'. He didn't reply to me ever since then. He's given me money before. I've been having a really hard time lately - both emotionally and financially. He's a millionaire who owns a porche and he's much older than me. I would have been satisfied if he just said 'I can't lend you money but I'll help you mentally'. I really love and miss him. I haven't tried to contact him ever since then. Everyone keeps telling me that he's a bad person and that he abandoned me. I don't know why. My friends keep telling me to have some self respect and not contact him but I want to so badly.. I want to ask why did you leave me? We've already been sexual so he had no reason to tell me that he loves me, that he wants a future with me and to move in together. How can you be so into someone and then all of a sudden disappear and leave the one you love? What's going on? What should I do?

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it sounds like he thinks you're a scammer for asking him for money so soon. Was this a sugar-daddy arrangement?

Some time has passed and I message him saying 'could you lend me some money as I found a university in my home town which I'd love to attend but don't have the funds for' he said 'at the moment I can't lend you that amount. Very bad timing' and He didn't reply to me ever since then. He's given me money before.

[ATTS20]

Sounds like a sugar daddy arrangement. You both are needy people. Never ask your lover for money! Ever. As a man, never profess your love for a woman before she does. Woman fall in love much much slower than men. Men want to marry a woman they meet immediately and lose all self control. It's terrible. What you need to do, is contact him and apologize for asking for funds. Tell him you miss him a lot and that it was wrong of you to ask him for money.

 

Note to all women who date rich older men - If you're only in it because you want to be taken care of, then be prepared to deal with all the emotional roller coaster a man has to go through. Men, despite the fact they know they are older and have money, still have an ego. Their ego does not let them accept being a sugar daddy on an emotional front. They want to be loved for who they are and not how much money they have. This arrangement may work for a little while, but ultimately it will eat at their core.

 

As a woman, if you truly have feelings for him for who he is, and what he means to you outside the financial security he enjoys, you need to treat ever lightly. Never ask a man with money to give you money. Instead look for ways to work, borrow from family, or take out a loan. The last thing you want to do is ask your lover with money for money and make them feel that it's the only reason you are with them.

[Batya33]

I think he became suspicious once you asked him for such a large amount of money. It doesn't matter how much money he has -he gets to decide how to spend/save it, whatever. If he wants to give you money that is his choice but not an obligation and it's not ok to ask him for large sums of money. Leave him be and he will be in touch if he decides you two have compatible values and/or can move forward without your pressuring him for money again.

[QWit]

He thinks you're just after his money.. He is not your bank. You just got official and you are asking him for a large amount of money. He may be a millionaire, but that does not mean he has to spend his money on your needs. With the next guy, focus on him instead of the money. Your loss.

[ThatwasThen]

Everyone keeps telling me that he's a bad person and that he abandoned me.

Who is this "everyone?"

 

Maybe he found another girl in the Bridal Catalogue?

 

Forget about him and enroll yourself in that "free university" in your country. He's likely going to have to take care of his sister's medical bills and your schooling is that last thing he's worrying about.

[greta96]

The explanation is that you asked him for money (and a lot of it at that!). Unless you are a sugar baby, you just can't ask the person you're dating for money no matter how rich he may be.

I don't think he felt too seriously about you to begin with, but your request for him to pay your tuition was the last drop. Honestly, I would have ghosted you

too.

 

Find someone local, and make sure to always be self sufficient because you just don't have any right to ask anyone to pay anything for you, be it school, living arrangements or other material goods or services.

[sunbby18]

Lend is not give. That amount of money means nothing to him.

[Wiseman2]

Have you ever met in person?

That amount of money means nothing to him.

Then why did he say this?:

he said 'at the moment I can't lend you that amount. Very bad timing'

[greta96]

Lend is not give. That amount of money means nothing to him.

 

It's not the money itself, it's the fact that you felt it was ok to ask for it. And it wasn't the first time either. It doesn't matter how rich one may be, nobody wants to feel used.

[sunbby18]

I see what you mean. He convinced me that we're going to find a university once I move in with him so I declined the university I was originally accepted for free because of that.

[sunbby18]

I don't know why would he say this. Yes we've been together for a very long time. I am a very giving person and I'd give everything I have to help someone I love.

[sunbby18]

I have no one else to ask for. I just graduated high school. He made me feel like I was safe with him. I am fine with having no money for clothes, food and such things but I need my education. I declined the free university because we planned for me to move in with him.

[Wiseman2]

Where are your parents?

I have no one else to ask for. I just graduated high school. He made me feel like I was safe with him. I am fine with having no money for clothes, food and such things but I need my education.

[j.man]

Looks like you're taking a year off school. Worse things have happened. Take the opportunity to work and save up some money. University is lot better with money.