He seems so happy and I can't move on

[alralo]

I met my ex as an exchange student in the US and we had a long distance relationship for almost 3 years. We used to see each other every four months, we spent half the time at his hometown and the other half at mine, so we got close with each other's family and friends. After he finished high school he moved to my country and worked as an English teacher, got an apartment close to my house and everything went right, until he started hanging out with his co-workers that were always drinking and using drugs, I hated that and became extremely jealous and worried of the time he spent with them, he slowly stopped wanting time with me and I felt very upset, as I wasn't very sociable at the time and my life revolved around him, specially after waiting so long to start living a "normal relationship", without traveling or Skyping all the time.

After only three months of him living here, I decided I didn't want the person that he became, and even though we knew it was sad that things ended like that, we broke up.

For months, I was devastated, I failed all my finals of that semester, and worried about him, as he moved to my country for me and I felt guilty for leaving him alone.

He constantly contacted me and it hurt more every time. After that, he just started going out more, drinking and using drugs more, leaving on trips without telling anyone, and I would have the pressure of his mom trying to contact him and desperately asked me to figure out how he was, when I couldn't do anything about it.

On his last call in January, after two months had passed, he said I was the best thing that happened to him, that he loved me but he was already seeing someone else, I became so upset I automatically blocked him of all my social media and try to take him out of my life for good.

He stayed in my country until May, dating that girl, but luckily I never saw him again.

The problem is that I was very close to his mom, she used to talk with me all the time and tell me about him. I could see his pictures on Facebook and see how happy he is now with that girl, that he said it was only a rebound to try to forget me.

I recently saw on my friend's Facebook his profile, he left to Belgium, he is living together with that girl and seems to be so happy with her. I also saw he took her to his hometown to meet his parents and to all the places we used to love visiting together, and where we had all our history. I feel so betrayed that he could moved on after almost four years with me, he used to say he wanted to marry me and that he thought he couldn't find anyone better than me. Apparently now he has.

I just want to move on as well, I feel like even though I know that it was the right decision, it hurts to feel like that person that you used to think was for you, isn't anymore.

I became very sociable now and I go out a lot, have met a lot of people and even tried to date this guy, but I still can't get over what happened after 8 months.

I decided to unfriend his mom, even though it was hard cause she was like a second mother to me, but every time I see his pictures I feel back to day one.

I feel like I won't be able to move on and find someone else that loved me as much, or that I won't be capable of loving someone as much. And it hurts he has achieved that already and totally forgot about me and all our history.

(P.S. sorry for my English, hope is understandable)

[ATTS20]

Sorry for your loss. But in this scenario you are both to blame. Your jealousy got in the way. He moved to your country and naturally wanted to make friends. In the future remember love is about being free and giving. It's not possessive and controlling. In the end, sometimes it's the wounds that hurt the most that make the best teachings. You'll be fine. You'll start feeling better in about 2-3 more months. Good luck

[jennydanielle7]

I am so sorry for what you are going through; I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling. As I read your entire post and midway through it; you dodged a bullet. If he could easily replace you after four years of dating, then it showed that he didn't value you as highly as you thought.

 

My advice is to keep moving forward. Every time you feel like your mind automatically thinks about him; just remember the pain he has left you with and remind yourself that this healing process is a learning experience but also a time where you can fully focus on YOU. As much as I hate to say it, but time really does heal all wounds.

 

You will eventually find love again, and who knows? You might even love that person more than your ex. Grieve, let it all out, but most importantly, try to make en effort on keeping your mind preoccupied and do things that benefit you.

 

Lots of hugs.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent, just keep blocking his or his people's presence in your life and good for ending it when he got there and decided to party, etc. Unfortunately you did not know him as well as you thought and he probably had other girls all along.

I decided to unfriend his mom.