Just need to vent/ what will you do if you were me ?

[Shakima12]

You can pretty much say my children father and I are not together. We relocated from NJ the end of July. We have a 2 year old and I'm 30 weeks pregnant basically. We currently stay with his mom and I move in my place Sept 1 which is in 5 days. I'm over 12 hours away over 700 miles from my family my children father Family is here where we currently reside. I'm like literally out here alone all I have is my children and myself pretty much. Going back home isn't a option for me right now so I can't even do that. The thing is I'll have to depend on him for transportation in his mom vehicle bc he totaled my car back in June smh. Its just I feel so alone bc I have no family, nor friends here with me and my child will be here in about 10-11 weeks and when I give birth I won't have none of my family here and now me and him are not on good terms it make things worst. I feel like a complete a.hole for even setting myself up moving and kinda knowing something like this will happen (This isn't the first time). Its just I was obligated bc of a certain something I received (personal). I just keep crying because im so fed up, hurt, alone and feel like he acting phoney to me.Tonight he slept on his mom couch and idky. Its upsetting because all he do pretty much is stay down stairs all day but when we was at my house I'll make sure to not even stay downstairs and chat to long bc I didn't want him to take it the wrong way. Even at cookouts I'll be under him to make him feel comfortable but its like he don't do the same for me. He will say something like on because I don't come out and socialize with his mother that's one reason why he's upset. I have np with his family I make sure I speak when ever I see anyone in the household and sometime his mom even come to the room and we talk over 30 mins. I just felt like he act funny when he get around his family thats why I tend to just be extra quiet. Then if I tell him that he will say im always looking for problems this and that , thats why its to the point I dont try to get him to understand me or even express myself. Even when I try the problem never get solved so its like why.These last two weeks we haven't talked pretty much all we did was say little things. Idk what to do its like I'm happy I'm moving in my place but I have no vehicle to commute around and don't know anyone besides my child father to help me out for the time being. I just needed to vent bc I have no one to vent to. I would like to know what will you do in a situation like this ? I'm just curious ?

[FreedomRing]

Is the baby daddy going to move with you next week? How will you be paying rent? Utilities? Food? Does he work? I didn't see you mention a job of your own, so have you went down to social services for some kind of benefits? What's your plan regarding work post baby? Now is the time, to start getting the ball rolling on how you will be providing for yourself and your kids(i.e. Put him on child support esp if things are this shakey, look for work yourself, get daycare options, etc). Less focus on him and the nonexistent "relationship".

[Shakima12]

Honestly Idk what he doing as far as moving with me and at this point IDC smh. I have all of those things tooken care of such as food, rent & income of my own. Yes imma work immediately after having my son. I was working before finding out I was pregnant all the way until a couple days before I left to come down here. My plan was to work until my due date but I had to leave the time I did because I had to come down here by a certain date so smh. Yes I know I have been I have to return my application for a 911 dispatcher position by sept 25 and then take the test October 10 & 11. I have been seeking employment where I am currently because I'll still work until I have the baby. As far as daycare wise I'll put both of them in daycare or if my child father mother can work around each other schedule I will.

[Matt3939]

Concentrate on things you can control. You new place. Your children and your job. Are you two different people socially? I know I was strange around other people's families. I didnt know how to socialize till I learned. Still not great btw but 100 times better. This used to cause problems with my friends.

[Wiseman2]

Move back yo your family/friends. You don't like him or his family there.

I'm moving in my place but I have no vehicle to commute around and don't know anyone besides my child father to help me out for the time being.

[Shakima12]

Move back yo your family/friends. You don't like him or his family there.

I never said that smh.

[FreedomRing]

Honestly Idk what he doing as far as moving with me and at this point IDC smh. I have all of those things tooken care of such as food, rent & income of my own. Yes imma work immediately after having my son. I was working before finding out I was pregnant all the way until a couple days before I left to come down here. My plan was to work until my due date but I had to leave the time I did because I had to come down here by a certain date so smh. Yes I know I have been I have to return my application for a 911 dispatcher position by sept 25 and then take the test October 10 & 11. I have been seeking employment where I am currently because I'll still work until I have the baby. As far as daycare wise I'll put both of them in daycare or if my child father mother can work around each other schedule I will.

 

Ok so you have a few things in place, good. Make use of your time in the house with your kids grandmother, and have the daycare/babysitting discussion with her ASAP. Baby daddy doesn't sound reliable, so you need to start moving on in your head and heart. These kids are dependent on you. Submit as many online applications as you can before you're due. Lastly, do a meetup.com search in your area for new moms/mommy groups. This may help building a new support system for you.

[Shakima12]

Concentrate on things you can control. You new place. Your children and your job. Are you two different people socially? I know I was strange around other people's families. I didnt know how to socialize till I learned. Still not great btw but 100 times better. This used to cause problems with my friends.

That's what I'm doing and will continue to do. No not really because he a quiet anti social person some what but he say not as much as me smh.

[Shakima12]

Ok so you have a few things in place, good. Make use of your time in the house with your kids grandmother, and have the daycare/babysitting discussion with her ASAP. Baby daddy doesn't sound reliable, so you need to start moving on in your head and heart. These kids are dependent on you. Submit as many online applications as you can before you're due. Lastly, do a meetup.com search in your area for new moms/mommy groups. This may help building a new support system for you.

Yes I will talk to her about the baby sitting situation because his mom works from 8am-8pm mon-fri. I will do that because I have no choice. Thanks for the idea because I actually was looking for meet up sites to meet new people/friends around the area.

[catfeeder]

I would contact the local Human Services agency and make an appointment with Legal Aid. Ask for a referral to a case worker to determine what forms of help you're eligible for.