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Having REALLY bad social anxiety for the first time.


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I'm starting college in September and I'm having really bad social anxiety all of a sudden.

 

I've never had any type of social anxiety before so this is extremely new. I'm attending a very liberal college that is known for trans students and their LGBT scene. I got assigned a roommate and this person flat out said they weren't comfortable with straight people and then changed rooms. I was really planning on whoever is assigned my roommate to be my friend for the first few months since its all very new and now I don't have a roommate and it's giving me anxiety.

 

There's a online forum for upcoming new students and I've reached out to a few people on there but no ones really been interested in getting to know me. The school has tons of LGBTQ students and they seem to be friendly with each other but I'm sort of an outsider. I chose this school because I was sort of an outcast in high school and I chose this school because of different people are. Now I feel like an outsider even more than before and I haven't even officially started. I feel completely out of my element and I feel like I'm intruding on THEIR school and I don't belong.

 

It's 20 days before I need to move in and I'm having second thoughts. If I change my mind my parents will be so disappointed in me but I keep having panic attacks of the thought.

 

 

Any advice?

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Do you have enough time to register to another university?

 

Can you change university after being two years there? If not , the only solution is to find a job for a year and start university the next year. (Actually this is not bad whatsoever, you will be more mature to choose university and field ).

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Even though the school is very LGBTQ friendly it doesn't mean you can't enjoy your own lifestyle/orientation. Go to the school's roommate search app and find someone else who is more compatible.

 

Also check out the colleges website for the social scene, organizations, groups, clubs, activities, sports, etc.

 

Do no get attached to a roommate and think they have to be your best friend. That is actually Not A Good Idea. Be friendly with everyone especially people in your classes and other extracurricular things you decide to join.

I got assigned a roommate and this person flat out said they weren't comfortable with straight people and then changed rooms.
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It's 20 days before I need to move in and I'm having second thoughts. If I change my mind my parents will be so disappointed in me but I keep having panic attacks of the thought.

If you tell them exactly what you've told us, I'm thinking they won't be anything other then supportive in your move to another college.

 

Is this the only college you applied to?

 

I see no point in you continuing on there if you're going to be miserable the whole time you are attending. Your ex room mate has prejudice issues this is about them and not you so let that thought go.

 

Call your parents and tell them what's going on. I'm sure they won't want to pay for your schooling only to have you have a nervous breakdown or be so feeling out-of-place that your school work were to suffer and you'd be unable to finish. If that were to happen then they would be disappointed that you didn't tell them the extent of the anxiety you're feeling.

 

Good luck.. and keep us posted so we know how you are doing.

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I know plenty of people who outright disliked their roommates yet did just fine at school, while I know of others who liked their roommates but still suffered very painful freshman jitters and wanted to quit during their first semester.

 

Point is, a roommate can be as irrelevant as you choose to make them.

 

Can you make a deal with your folks that a nervous as you are, you want to give one semester a try, but if you complete it and hate the place, you'll transfer your credits elsewhere?

 

Another option: lots of people opt to do their first 2 years at a local college while living home, and then they transfer those credits to a more prestigious school when it's time to focus on their major. Your parents would have good reason to appreciate this choice--it will save them a bundle in tuition. That's why lots of people do it.

 

Either way, I'd make a choice, negotiate it up front with your folks like a responsible adult, and that will leave no reason for them to be disappointed in you. As long as you're solid in your choice and can present a rationale in a manner that shows careful deliberation rather than resorting to emotional disablement, you can take pride in your choice and this will set the tone for how your parents respond to your decision.

 

Head high.

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