Girlfriend broke up with me because of my insecurity and jealousy

[rexz]

Hello everyone,

 

As the title says, I recently had a breakup about a month ago with my girlfriend she told me she lost feelings for me and I got jealous too easily we were together for 2 months but we met 2 years ago and we had a crush on each other till one day she confessed. I admit to all of that, I got scared for no reason I did not give her space the reason for my insecurities are because we were going for a long distance relationship just for over a month because she's going on a vacation BUT I FREAKED OUT AND GOT SCARED I did not trust her even though I knew she loved me and this was my mistake. I was selfish and everytime I felt I needed more I go and ask her all these questions asking if she really loved me until one point she got mad and told me if I continue asking those questions she feels like she wants to breakup with me. Still I did not listen and I continued asking those questions till one day I got emotionally unstable and I mentioned her bestfriend becoming her new boyfriend and she got mad at me she did not reply my text and I asked her if she is mad and I apologized and apologized till she ended it.

 

I miss her alot we had all these wonderful memories. She loved me, she wanted to have a future with me, we had all this plans about having kids. I even haven't bought that pancake she asked me to buy for her. After the breakup I did not contact her for a week then I continued to text her again here I made a mistake again by not giving her space she did reply to my texts though. I begged her for a second chance all these things for 3 weeks and again I got emotionally unstable and we got into a fight. I apologized and everything we still continued talking for a week and one day I realized that if you love a person you want her to be happy right? So I did that and I let her go. I have been on no contact for about 3 weeks now. I stilll want to have that future with her, I have been working on my insecurities I have been playing with my friends, hanging out with friends, I hit the gym and played pokemon go haha. But still I miss her I wonder what she's doing Is she sad? Is she lonely? I know that since I cant be with her anymore I shouldn't be asking all those questions but in the same time I want to be with her again. Should I continue no contact? Do I have a chance?

[JESSICA113]

Continue to work on yourself first before you get into a relationship. Have confidence in the fact that you are a unique human being who deserves the best in life. Continue to learn about who you are as an individual and simply live your life. The person you are meant to be with will come to you. It may be her..it may not be. Don't think about what could have been because that will only hold you back. Look to the future and just make yourself happy.

[rexz]

Yes I have been striving on working out on myself first because I know that if I do not change my ways and I do not become the person I was before I met her my future relationships, even if it was with her, will be ruined. I miss her a lot we had trips together I miss the warmth of her head her hand when she sat beside me, when she slept on my shoulders and the smell of her hair and when she held my hand. I miss when she made me feel loved when she slept beside me. When she would tell me her mom is doing make up on her and giving me all those beautiful pictures. The husky we met on our trip together and that dog that I wanted to give her someday. I miss when she held my hand telling me everything was gonna be okay. I know she is sad and hurt too I know that she thinks that maybe we cant be together anymore. I miss her to death. But I know if we are really meant to be it will happen. Thank you for replying will you give me any more advices?

[rexz]

One more thing I recently stumbled upon our texts by accident and I read about our fight.. during the fight I blamed her.. I told her she shouldn't have accepted me from the start.. I got emotionally unstable. She told me that she really loved me and really cared for me and was scared of losing me but she had her reasons and told me if I really understood her I would understand but obviously I didn't and it was true she was really mad at me. I regret saying all of those and she told me how she was hurt when I said that how she was hurt when I wasn't able to trust her. She told me I was forcing her to be with me and its true I apologized for everything and I asked her if there would be a chance for us again she told me she doesn't know. But we still did text for a week after that I did not contact her anymore... I know I made a mistake, and I will change first I will not try to take her back it's been about 4 weeks now since that fight and I was wondering.. will she ever forget about who I was before and maybe forgive me? Maybe she'll start to think about the good times?

[Matt3939]

Hay I've been on the opposite side. A guy with a ex gf that was jelious and insecure. I know every relationship and person is different. Concentrate on yourself try to get your feelings under control or you will continue the same behavior no matter who you are with. Therapy would help you can't just repress your feelings they need to be dealt with. Not every person is out to hurt you. She probably got frustrated at the ongoing behavior specially if she was innocent. There's no way to know if she will come back around. I know I got to the point I will not. Actions speak louder then apologies and begging. Best of luck

[rexz]

Hay I've been on the opposite side. A guy with a ex gf that was jelious and insecure. I know every relationship and person is different. Concentrate on yourself try to get your feelings under control or you will continue the same behavior no matter who you are with. Therapy would help you can't just repress your feelings they need to be dealt with. Not every person is out to hurt you. She probably got frustrated at the ongoing behavior specially if she was innocent. There's no way to know if she will come back around. I know I got to the point I will not. Actions speak louder then apologies and begging. Best of luck

Hello thanks for replying, what made you got to the point that you don't want to be with her again? In my case I begged and I blamed it all on her I blamed her that I was hurting because of her that was 4 weeks ago I have apologized to her for that and we met again a week ago and we hanged out with friends and she still did talk to me. 4 weeks ago during the fight we still texted for a week and I stopped texting her until now so I've been on no contact till this day and I know my actions cannot be forgiven and she might not want to be with me anymore but I am indeed working on myself changing my ways.

[Matt3939]

I was with her 4 years first year was bliss amazing connection. Very weird coincidences between us. Just a perfect storm of really feeling wow this is what love is and this person was put here 4 me. Moved in asked her to marry me. Started off small but then went completely off the deep end with the jeliousy. I got accused of everything you can think of. Even with overwhelming proof that it wasn't true. She didn't want to hear it. Eventually she said she didn't feel comfortable with me in the house. I left never went back permanent. We kept on for a year. She would accuse I would leave. Everytime it got longer and longer. She really believed her paranoia to the point she met up with this guy. After that I didn't sleep with her ever again. I tried to understand it I cant. 8 months later she did again with another guy. That was it I had enough I can't justify to myself anymore. It just really seemed so damn pointless to throw everything away over something that isn't even there. That's what absolutely broke me. I guess that's what jeliousy and insecurities are it's a paranoia that just isn't there. Yes it could be based in previous experiences but every relationship and person is different. I know I probably didn't answer your question sorry.