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There is this girl at work that I like talking to. Not romantically interested. I am introverted, she's definitely not - I guess what surprised me was that she wasn't 'scared' of me, she came to chat even when I was completely zoned out.

She gets what I am thinking, and I get what she is thinking - she understands my work, and I understand hers too, and we often help each other.


However sometimes she acts like I am not even there - she gets back from a 2 week vacation, and acts as if she was here the whole time. Just a normal 'hello' in the morning, and when finally she needs my help with something, then she comes and chats a bit, and goes home.


As far as I can tell, when we talk, she enjoys that too, but these talks seem far less important for her. I don't get it. Generally I don't feel that I am understood on any level at home - not my thoughts, not my work, nothing. It was a great thing for me to finally have someone around me who gets at least what I do at work, sometimes what I mean, even without saying it. Is it not like that for her? Am I so unimportant? We sometimes talk about deeper things than just work, than and there she seems to enjoy it, then the next day I'm like thin air to her again.


I can't be like this - sure, I am alone, I need someone to talk to, and I pay attention not to be needy and the like, but I can't believe that she's so... I don't know, fake? Is she just acting...?

I tried ramping down the conversations we have, to be just about work, and less often, but after a while she came 'back', and we had a longer talk, and everything felt to be in place again... for 3 days, when she distanced herself again.


What on earth is this, what do I do - am I crazy?

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Maybe she is starting to get feelings for you and therefore distancing herself? What else can we know about her situation? Does she have a boyfriend or husband? What is her body language like when you two talk?


Maybe she thinks you have feelings for her and therefore is distancing herself so as to not lead you on?


I mean, it could be any number of things. The best way to find out is by talking with her. You say she seems to understand you and you her, so why wouldn't you try to talk to her about this, knowing she could very well be understanding? You say you are not romantically interested, you need to make sure that is true and then go and have a conversation with her.

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