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Should I leave him?


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I just don't know what to do anymore. I love my boyfriend of almost 2 years but he is a total d****head at times. We have broken up on and off and been back and forth for like our whole relationship. The only reason I have stayed with him this long is because we have had so many amazing moments where we have really loved each other. He has called me his future wife several times and said countless times he wants a future with me. But every time we have even the slightest communication issue we don't know how to solve it and it's mostly because he is too stubborn to change something or apologise whenever he has upset me. Now it has gotten to the point where he doesn't even seem to want this anymore and he is hurt about something that I have done recently, which I think is small given the bigger picture of our situation. But he doesn't seem to understand and keeps saying things like "I have broken his trust and hurt him too many times," yet he rarely ever acknowledges the hurt he has caused me . The thing he is hurt about is that recently I hanged up on him and said "I just can't be bothered" at a time when things were really bad and we were fighting heaps because I just couldn't take it anymore . He broke up with me after that because he says "we just keep hurting each other and I can't deal with it". But then he came down to get his stuff and I talked to him and "convinced" him to stay. I told him how much I loved him and reminded him how up until now we have always said how much we want a future together, to move out and get married etc. He still wanted this to work so he was "giving me another chance". So we got back together. But things have been miserable since with him constantly saying he is still hurt and us both so scared it's going to happen again. But the thing is, I feel that our communication breakdown was both of our faults, but it feels like he just blamed me and took no responsibility, which he never does . But now I am thinking of breaking up with him because he says he just feels "anxious" now all the time that something is going to happen. He says he felt "relieved" the other day when he called and I didn't answer my phone. That hurt me so much and again I feel he is blaming all me for this, but not taking fault himself. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him after all we have said and shared and built together. But he has hurt me so much. I don't know what to do. Should I try to solve this? Or should I just leave him?

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I think you tried solving this too many times. Everyone knows big steps are easier said than done.

As I was reading this it really sounded like my friends situation. She had really great long lasting relationship and suddenly it just fell apart.

Connecting with new people is what helped her. She even visited those chatting sites like Party line or Voice roulette, totally turned her mind off. She was more confused than crushed after breakup, but felt great relief at the same time. Think about what will really make you happy and just do it. Good luck.

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It's miserable because you never really resolved anything, just missed each other. You should go no contact for now and stop begging him to 'take you back'.


This doesn't sound too good like you are together too much/texting too much and suffocating each other: "He says he felt "relieved" the other day when he called and I didn't answer my phone".


How old is he? Doesn't this sound like string-along talk if he's always breaking up with you? has called me his future wife several times.

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You are bound to fail if you keep returning the exact same dynamic. In order for a relationship to reconcile, you both need to address the problems straight on and have plan on how to circumvent them. Running back out of fear and loneliness is not the answer. It's a recipe for the cycle of drama you just described.

If he's not willing to own his s**t then there isn't much you can do on your own.

Don't go back until you have both agreed to a plan of compromise.

You may have to accept this isn't fixable.

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Sounds a lot like my problem. My boyfriend has such horrible communication issues, refuses to ever apologize, I'm expected to read his mind, always spins everything around on me, and somehow I'm the one always making the compromise. I think they are master manipulators, something in their life caused them to act like this towards others. Other than that our relationship is great. I guess you and I just have to decide if we will accept it, or leave. I think if you feel like you can't be yourself and you feel like you're walking on eggshells you should leave, they will never change. But easier said than done....

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You guys broke up because you hung up on him? Do you know how many times I hung up on my ex? How many time he hung up on me? Countless times. That doesn't amount to hurting someone and breaking their trust. I was waiting for the thing you did, there was such a build up to it and then you get to it and it's that you hung up on him? That was like a good build up to a really bad drop in an EDM song.


Sorry to tell you this but you did absolutely nothing wrong. This man was probably looking for reasons to break up with you and took you back so he could manipulate you. You are allowing yourself to be a toy for his pleasure at this point. He will never stop saying how much you hurt him, I guarantee that. He will play the guilt card for as long as this lasts. I think it's time to call it quits. You deserve better.

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