Elliejayde Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 I've just left him. I made a decision I wasn't going to see him, But, no, I'm an idiot who can't stay away. We had a great evening together last night, went out for breakfast this morning. We didn't talk about us getting back together. We laughed. A lot. We kissed. We held hands. We did what we do every time, and to anyone looking in we're a normal happy loved up couple who can't keep our hands off each other. Except that's not what we are. We've been over for 6 months and still neither of us lets go. We've both tried, numerous times. But we always come back. Today I'm letting go. I can't keep putting myself through this to this extent. My heart is broken having to walk away from him yet again. I love him so I'm letting him go.
gebaird Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 Good for you. I think you deserve a real relationship instead of this part-time lover hot/cold stuff, don't you? As long as you keep reconnecting with this guy, you'll never be free to move on to someone who treats you better and is there for you every day, in every way you want him to be. There is so much power in commitment. It's going to hurt. You're going to want to run back to him. But if you make it through the temporary pain of separation you'll see that real joy lies ahead of you, not behind.
Wiseman2 Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 It sounds like have decided on an open relationship where you see each other when he comes to town and all is good when he does. Plus you both can see others locally. As long as you are ok with the going from bf/gf and seeing each other regularly to this, it's fine. However as long as you accept fwb every time he rolls through town then that's what it will be unless you make a stand about your feelings and needs.We had a great evening together last night, went out for breakfast this morning. We didn't talk about us getting back together. We laughed. A lot. We kissed. We held hands. We've been over for 6 months and still neither of us lets go. Same guy?
Zippy2000 Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 All the best wishes for you. You remind me of a girl I met in 2014. She played me along for 2 years. Asked her many times to go out but siad she was never available. Said she was too busy at work. I found out later speaking to her she was available for nights out for her, and other men when she was asked out on her staff night out and I had been waiting weeks to get hold of her. It gets easier and you realise through time. The person you spend time with turns out to be a timewaster. Is that bit of an oxymoron? Its time to move on and find someone who is right for you and wants to be with you full time and not part time.
moodindigo91 Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 I don't think 6 months is enough time to heal from a particularly difficult break up. A break up of any sort is one of the hardest things people do in their lives in my opinion, because it requires that you literally cut someone out of your life (at least for a period of time) that you shared wonderful memories, intimacy, and happiness with. This is not something anyone really wants to do, but more often than not, it's something people must do for different reasons. I'm not sure why you guys broke up, but there is a reason for it. If you both still love one another and still can't seem to let go after some more time, then I'd do what Wiseman said and consider having an open relationship, one not entirely exclusive and without labels. Before you do that, you have to make sure you are in the right place to accept this type of relationship, it doesn't seem like you are in that place. I think you need more time away from him. Don't give in and break the no contact rule, that is the important step to healing.
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