Huge Setback...I don't know how to deal with this?

[jackiedavis]

Hi everyone,

 

So I'm on NC day 8 today, I just talk to one of my friends and she told me my ex reached out to her to have a bday dinner for her since he missed her bday. She claims they split the bill and that she is not interested in him like that, and if she felt he was interested in her like that she would not have gone to dinner with him..

 

Should I be pissed? Should I be hurt? Cause right now i feel very betrayed and hurt. Why would he ask her? Why would she accept? I am sooo confused...why would this even happen?

[Starseed98]

She is not your friend if she went out with your ex.

 

Move on from both of them.

[JonnyD79]

She is not your friend if she went out with your ex.

 

Move on from both of them.

 

This is the right answer.

[Doc Blaze]

How long have actually been broken up- JW

 

 

And were they friends before you started dating him?

 

 

 

But IMO, I would not do this to one of my friends.

I would say I don't think its appropriate at the time and

would decline the offer.

[jackiedavis]

They are not close friends, he and I broke up 7 weeks ago. She said he said he was in NYC when she had her bday dinner with their other friends, so he wanted to do a bday dinner with her. She said they split the bill and she talked about another guy the whole time. She said if she thought he was interested in her like that she would have rejected the offer. She said neither one of them is interested in each other. But not much I can do anymore right. I do think I need to cut her off as a friend. I would honestly never have done that to her...

[JA0371]

Wow. I think most people would think this was pretty tacky. Especially if they werent even really close friends. Only thing I can think is that your ex knew she would tell you and try to get a reaction of jealousy from you. Not sure what else he could be possibly be thinking...l

[amazingcuzitis]

I think it's pretty messed up. Your friend was inconsiderate for spending time with your ex and not even asking you how you felt about it first, but I don't think that means she is "not your friend". Friends hurt us sometimes, and when that happens I think it is best to talk it out. Tell her how hurt you are, and if she doesn't seem to see that what she did was wrong, then maybe you should consider ending the friendship. But definitely talk first.

[jackiedavis]

I did talk to her about it, she said she only went cause it was an innocent bday dinner and she said she should have been more considerate of my feelings and shouldn't have gone. She did apologize, but it still seems sketchy to me. Also the other thing I can think of is that he's so bored without me, that he is meeting up with anyone who is willing to. Who knows at this point. All I know is that i am pissed.

[nihongo]

You have a right to be pissed. I agree with the others that he was looking for a reaction. Usually you treat someone to a BD dinner and not split the bill so that makes it weirder. Your friend seemed apologetic and didn't hide the fact that they met so I wouldn't cut her off.

[jackiedavis]

I don't understand why he would be looking for a reaction, he has told me numerous times to move on...so what would be the purpose?

 

Yeah in hindsight, my friend did tell me the truth. Not sure why he's ask her to a bday dinner and not pay for her and make her split the bill. Doesn't make any sense.