Is wrong for me to always masturbate before my girlfriend and I hang out?

[superfan]

I'm not sure if this is some kind of 'feminist slogan', or 'trigger' for people, or whatever.

 

I don't care about "owes". I never used that word. I never said "has to" either.

 

Here we have a women's frame, and it's makes no sense.

 

I am guessing you put the word feminist in air quotes to devalue it. Awesome.

 

Yeah I'm a feminist. Not sure what's wrong about believing in equality but I am sure it will be mansplained in due course.

 

What doesn't make sense about it? A relationship does not entitle you to the other person's body. Nothing does. That goes for a man or a woman, btw. It's that simple.

 

A man should have no expectations. His standard should not be for having regular sex in a long-term relationship. And, at the same time, he should not dump her due to a sexless life either and become "one of those guys" (one with standards?).

 

Nobody said not to end the relationship if you are sexually incompatible. In fact, it's a good idea if two people have wildly varying sex drives to end it rather than pressure a person into doing something they don't want to do. Demanding your partner have sex with you or feeling entitled to their body simply because you happen to be with them is wrong. End of story. If you know the level of sex you are having is not compatible, then yeah. Leave.

 

This is the typical message, that men should expect less and provide more. That is what's "toxic and wrong" here, and it gets lesser men chasing their tails.

 

I don't expect you to understand a word that I've just said, but I suggest the OP have a long hard think about how he allowed himself to be exclusive with this woman in the first place.

 

Ahhh, there's the mansplaining and condescension. I was waiting for that. Nobody is saying the OP should provide anything. He asked if it was OK to masturbate before a date. Why not?

 

Then he went on to state that he is feeling frustrated because he is not getting the level of physical satisfaction that he wants from his girlfriend. If that's the case, then he probably should go elsewhere for a relationship with someone who is at the same level as him. This girl however, is not "required" to put out simply because they are dating. If the OP can't handle that, then he can find someone who will be better suited to his needs.

 

Did I manage to wrap my silly little female brain around it??

[itsallgrand]

I think this speaks to incompatible sex drives. What are the ages here? I'm guessing young.

[katrina1980]

I am guessing you put the word feminist in air quotes to devalue it. Awesome.

 

Yeah I'm a feminist. Not sure what's wrong about believing in equality but I am sure it will be mansplained in due course.

 

What doesn't make sense about it? A relationship does not entitle you to the other person's body. Nothing does. That goes for a man or a woman, btw. It's that simple.

 

 

 

Nobody said not to end the relationship if you are sexually incompatible. In fact, it's a good idea if two people have wildly varying sex drives to end it rather than pressure a person into doing something they don't want to do. Demanding your partner have sex with you or feeling entitled to their body simply because you happen to be with them is wrong. End of story. If you know the level of sex you are having is not compatible, then yeah. Leave.

 

 

 

Ahhh, there's the mansplaining and condescension. I was waiting for that. Nobody is saying the OP should provide anything. He asked if it was OK to masturbate before a date. Why not?

 

Then he went on to state that he is feeling frustrated because he is not getting the level of physical satisfaction that he wants from his girlfriend. If that's the case, then he probably should go elsewhere for a relationship with someone who is at the same level as him. This girl however, is not "required" to put out simply because they are dating. If the OP can't handle that, then he can find someone who will be better suited to his needs.

 

Did I manage to wrap my silly little female brain around it??

 

tvgirl, you are right. A woman is not "required" to put out simply because they are "dating."

 

However that said, I think you may have missed this from the OP.

 

Okay so I have started to notice that every time my girlfriend and I hangout I usually masturbate the night before [i]because I don't want to be led on or disappointed if my girlfriend decides to turn me on and not finish what she started. She's done that many times and it has pissed me off countless times, she recently did before she went on vacation! She kept hinting about us having sex later and telling the different positions we were going to try and then she falls asleep and wakes up saying she feels really bad, even though I knew when she woke up she didn't want to do it [/i]so now I'm care free about us talking about sex since I can't trust her to go through with it anymore

 

When a woman sends out those types of sexual signals via words and actions, then I think it's perfectly understandable that her bf should "expect" sex.

 

This woman is the worst type of TEASE and that isn't right either.

 

If she doesn't want sex, which is her right, then she needs to knock off the sexual teasing, period, end of.

 

I also think it's understandable for a man to expect his gf to want to have sex with him within the context of a romantic RL, otherwise it's a FRIENDSHIP.

 

I cannot speak for Jabron or any other man, but I think perhaps that is what he means.

[Jabron1]

Yeah I'm a feminist.

 

That makes sense.

 

Not sure what's wrong about believing in equality

 

What the hell is equality, anyway? We aren't all 'equal', and life would be boring if we were. Deal with it.

 

I am sure it will be mansplained in due course.

 

Trying to shame a man for acting like a man.

 

Amusing, but isn't going to work on me.

 

What's 'womanspaining'? Nagging maybe?

 

What doesn't make sense about it? A relationship does not entitle you to the other person's body.

 

No sex, no relationship.

 

Demanding your partner have sex with you or feeling entitled to their body simply because you happen to be with them is wrong.

 

I never said that.

 

You, and others, are getting upset with me merely for having standards and expectations.

 

If his girl isn't having sex with him, then she's a crap girlfriend - simple as that. He should give her the "let's be friends", and move on.

 

Ahhh, there's the mansplaining and condescension. I was waiting for that. Nobody is saying the OP should provide anything.

 

Well, it's no problem then if he doesn't provide his exclusive loyalty, and starts considering his options

 

It's no problem that he ignores her texts and calls, and won't give her the attention she wants.

 

It's no problem if he stops taking her on dates, and spending his resources on her (time and money).

 

I'm sure the OP's girl would have no problem with him failing to provide these things.

 

 

He asked if it was OK to masturbate before a date. Why not?

 

Because it floods the body with oxytocin pre-date. He is putting himself on a come-down before the fun even starts.

 

This girl however, is not "required" to put out simply because they are dating.

 

She sounds like she needs a gay male friend instead.

 

I'm suggesting the OP not be that gay male friend.

 

Did I manage to wrap my silly little female brain around it??

 

From what I gather, you think it's okay for a woman to feel entitled to things, but not a man.

 

Keep dreaming.

[Zaphod]

I suggest turning the tables on her.

 

Perform erotic cunnilingus on her until she is on the verge of cumming, then claim you've suddenly remembered you left the oven on.

[katrina1980]

I suggest turning the tables on her.

 

Perform erotic cunnilingus on her until she is on the verge of cumming, then claim you've suddenly remembered you left the oven on.

 

Better yet, while you're out together having a drink, tease her with sexy talk about how you will perform erotic cunnilingus on her later.

 

Get her all hot and bothered, and then when y'all get home, fall asleep.

 

I'm actually kidding, but that is pretty much what she's doing to you and if I were you OP I would tell her to knock it off.

 

Time to get strong, stand up to her, you're walking on eggshells with her and that only leads to one place - her disrespecting you.

 

No offense but no wonder she doesn't feel sexually turned on.

 

It's possible she talks about it hoping to put herself in the mood... because evidently you're not.

 

Time to change that dude! Be strong, stand up to her, take charge.

[Wiseman2]

If she's being a tease say something.

Perform erotic cunnilingus on her until she is on the verge of cumming, then claim you've suddenly remembered you left the oven on.

]

[Jabron1]

Time to get strong, stand up to her, you're walking on eggshells with her and that only leads to one place - her disrespecting you.

 

Time to change that dude! Be strong, stand up to her, take charge.

 

Exactly. Advice about masturbation and sex games is half the story.

 

Women go to great lengths to protect their ovaries from beta-males.

 

I remember my younger cousin lamenting a while back how women would only give him oral-sex, and not go all the way with him

 

Any guy hanging around in a relationship with a woman that has no real sexual desire for him is getting tooled. OP, the fact that you even grace this nonsense with your presence is reason enough for her not to have sex with you. You are actually screwing yourself (no pun intended).

 

I'm not saying be a bully (sad that any sort of nuance is lost, and that I have to actually say that). I'm saying don't accept less than high-interest for a long term relationship.

[Zaphod]

Exactly. Advice about masturbation and sex games is half the story.

 

Women go to great lengths to protect their ovaries from beta-males.

 

I remember my younger cousin lamenting a while back how women would only give him oral-sex, and not go all the way with him

 

Any guy hanging around in a relationship with a woman that has no real sexual desire for him is getting tooled. OP, the fact that you even grace this nonsense with your presence is reason enough for her not to have sex with you. You are actually screwing yourself (no pun intended).

 

I'm not saying be a bully (sad that any sort of nuance is lost, and that I have to actually say that). I'm saying don't accept less than high-interest for a long term relationship.

 

Good post as usual mate.

[Zaphod]

]

 

Lol. I always have time for giraffes. Especially non-conformist ones.

[youareworthy]

Wiseman, you have real talent. You always find the funniest songs and gifs for our threads!