Is wrong for me to always masturbate before my girlfriend and I hang out?

[Ballen2713]

Okay so I have started to notice that every time my girlfriend and I hangout I usually masturbate the night before because I don't want to be led on or disappointed if my girlfriend decides to turn me on and not finish what she started. She's done that many times and it has pissed me off countless times, she recently did before she went on vacation! She kept hinting about us having sex later and telling the different positions we were going to try and then she falls asleep and wakes up saying she feels really bad, even though I knew when she woke up she didn't want to do it so now I'm care free about us talking about sex since I can't trust her to go through with it anymore

[gp11a]

Masturbate all you want is what I say, if it helps you. It isn't wrong.

 

She doesn't owe you anything, sorry to say. You shouldn't put any of this on her, man, and you shouldn't make her feel bad when she doesn't have sex with you. It happens.

 

Have you talked to her about this?

[gebaird]

Have you told her how you feel? I wonder if she just has a lower sex drive than you, or just doesn't realize how hard it is for you when she doesn't follow through.

 

These are not simple issues to solve, but talking about them in a non-confrontational way can help. At the very least I would ask her to take an "all or nothing" approach when it comes to sex. Turning a guy on and not finishing is very, very not cool. How is the relationship outside the bedroom?

[Jabron1]

Masturbating the night before shouldn't be a big issue, if you have a moderate to high sex-drive.

 

Still, often I won't wank the day before either. It messes with your testosterone. I would advise that you don't do it as much. Better to hold off, and be an animal with a woman instead.

 

If your girl is giving you blue balls like that, and can't be relied on, then she is a crap girlfriend. It even sounds like she's messing with you.

 

You should seriously consider dumping her.

[mustlovedogs]

Masturbating the night before shouldn't be a big issue, if you have a moderate to high sex-drive.

 

Still, often I won't wank the day before either. It messes with your testosterone. I would advise that you don't do it as much. Better to hold off, and be an animal with a woman instead.

 

If your girl is giving you blue balls like that, and can't be relied on, then she is a crap girlfriend. It even sounds like she's messing with you.

 

You should seriously consider dumping her.

 

His girlfriend owes him nothing. She does not owe him sex

 

It sounds like you guys still have sex occasionally? There's nothing wrong with masturbating. But it could be worth a conversation about how her sexy talk gets you really riled up. You could ask her not to do it until you're actually having sex.

 

But she does not owe you sex.

[Ballen2713]

You make a valid point and we have talked about this multiple time but sometimes it leads into arguments sadly , I try to talk calmly about it but it never turns out that way for us

[Ballen2713]

Outside the bedroom our relationship is fine and very stable and sadly I am the one with the higher sex drive so its hard to control my urges when we do hang out

[HeartGoesOn]

If your girl is giving you blue balls like that, and can't be relied on, then she is a crap girlfriend. It even sounds like she's messing with you.

 

You should seriously consider dumping her.

 

Wow! In other words, "put out, or get out."

 

OP, Please don't become that person...

[Jabron1]

His girlfriend owes him nothing. She does not owe him sex

 

I really don't care.

 

She doesn't want to have sex, and he does. She even seems to be toying with his frustration. Therefore, he should consider his options.

 

Plenty of fish out there. It can be a lot better than this, mate.

[pippy longstocking]

Actually I disagree with the other posters , she does owe you something ,...respect ..she knows what she is doing , leading you on and hanging you on a hard on promise . I would tell her to stop the small talk that goes nowhere !

[Jabron1]

Wow! In other words, "put out, or get out."

 

In other words, "be a good eunuch".

 

OP, Please don't become that person...

 

Someone that has sex with someone that is equally attracted, and be happy?

 

What an evil suggestion lol.

[mustlovedogs]

We aren't advocating for his gf to withhold sex. But just making sure he is aware it isn't owed to him.

 

Now, of course, if it becomes a source of significant relationship strife, he can choose to breakup with her.

 

But he needs to talk to her about it too. At least say she should only sexy talk when there's follow through because it's hard to cope with.

[ControlDenied]

I say she does not want sex too frequent with you because sex with you is not worth wanting.

Please dont get me wrong, Im on your side.

Get better! Look into David Shade materials

[Jabron1]

just making sure he is aware it isn't owed to him.

 

What is that even supposed to mean?

[youareworthy]

interesting notion, Control Denied.

[Jabron1]

I say she does not want sex too frequent with you because sex with you is not worth wanting.

Please dont get me wrong, Im on your side.

Get better! Look into David Shade materials

 

I used to like a series called '2 girls teach sex'. That is one that I'd would recommend. It's easily downloaded.

[Ballen2713]

Well said my friend I agree like she should understand its something that shouldn't be tossed around so easily and should be somewhat taken seriously!

[shellyf62]

That is very cruel of her to lead you on with sexy suggestions & not follow through.

She is being a tease, and that isnt an attractive trait to have.

I honestly wouldnt put up with that crap.

I would find another girl who loves & respects you enough not to toy with you like that.

[youareworthy]

She may be conflicted. She may want to sleep with you, and her passions get the better of her sometimes, but feels pressure from parents or religious convictions not to, so she ends up being ambivalent.

 

Just an idea.

[ControlDenied]

I used to like a series called '2 girls teach sex'. That is one that I'd would recommend. It's easily downloaded.

 

That is for highschoolers. When you want the real deal you learn from David Shade

[Jabron1]

That is for highschoolers. When you want the real deal you learn from David Shade

 

I was reading this:

 

"David Shade’s advice comes from his philosophy that to have great sex you have to build an exceptional relationship.

 

Examples of how he looks at relationships and sex are:

 

1. She needs to feel special, unlike any other woman. And she needs to know that her man supports her in her endeavors. "

 

Stopped right there. Not interested in this beta-male nonsense - completely detrimental.

 

Women rarely marry their best sex for a reason.

 

You think I'm being biased? It's well documented.

[youareworthy]

Fascinating how very different the points of view on ENA are. "It takes all kinds to make a world."

[ControlDenied]

Women rarely marry their best sex for a reason.

 

You think I'm being biased? It's well documented.

Considering the divorce rate in modern society, that make no difference.

 

You disregard him at your own risk.

[superfan]

What is that even supposed to mean?

 

It means just because you are in a relationship with someone does not mean you are required to sleep with them. It doesn't matter how long you have been together, how attracted you are or how long it has been since you last did it.

 

Just because one person wants to have sex does not mean their partner "has to" do so.

 

You can break up with someone because you are not sexually compatible, sure. But the attitude that your partner "owes" it to you is toxic and wrong.

[Jabron1]

It means just because you are in a relationship with someone does not mean you are required to sleep with them. It doesn't matter how long you have been together, how attracted you are or how long it has been since you last did it.

 

Just because one person wants to have sex does not mean their partner "has to" do so.

 

You can break up with someone because you are not sexually compatible, sure. But the attitude that your partner "owes" it to you is toxic and wrong.

 

I'm not sure if this is some kind of 'feminist slogan', or 'trigger' for people, or whatever.

 

I don't care about "owes". I never used that word. I never said "has to" either.

 

Here we have a women's frame, and it's makes no sense.

 

A man should have no expectations. His standard should not be for having regular sex in a long-term relationship. And, at the same time, he should not dump her due to a sexless life either and become "one of those guys" (one with standards?).

 

This is the typical message, that men should expect less and provide more. That is what's "toxic and wrong" here, and it gets lesser men chasing their tails.

 

I don't expect you to understand a word that I've just said, but I suggest the OP have a long hard think about how he allowed himself to be exclusive with this woman in the first place.