Letting her go?

[Jovahutc]

How do you get back to your old self when you've been living a life for so long? I was living what I thought was a happy life with my woman and child. We built together and we were own own little family. After it all comes crumbling down.... Where do you even start again? When you lost everything that means anything or you and about to lose it all. I've got my daughter, and for that I am happy. But it will never be the same and she knows it. When I bring her home with me she knows her mother isn't there anymore, and our home just doesn't feel the same. How do I tell her that not all parents work out? That not everyone's meant to be together? I tell her "I love your mom sweetheart, but not all parents can be together, but we still love your my sweetie". "And daddy will always be here, and mommy will always be here, and we both love you more than anything". I keep shuffling though the stages of grief, right now bargaining and acceptance. Every bone in me want to beg her mother to come back, but deep down I know this is for the best. I'll never find another woman if I can't let go of my ex, this I know. I need to heal, but how long will it take? All I can do now is enjoy being a father to my little girl, it's my only true happiness right now. There is nothing in this world like being a father, it's really amazing. I guess I am just venting because my little girl had to go back with her mom today, so just a little sad is all. I thought she was the one... It still feels like she's the one... If she were to call today I think I'd beg, I'd get on my knees and beg her to come back, because this pain, this kind of pain is unbearable. Guys tips for letting go of my ex... How do I let her go and move on?

[ThatwasThen]

Sorry you're having to go through this, Jovahutc. What was the cause of the breakup?

[SportsGuru38]

Personally I do not think there's a step by step guide for getting through these kinds of situations. Time will heal all is ultimately what you need to think to yourself. I know it's very hard right now but you need to believe that you can overcome any adversity life throws at you.

[Jovahutc]

Thanks guys

[gebaird]

What a difficult situation, and what a blessing that you have your daughter to light the path through your grief. Focus on your love for her. Focus on being a good dad. From what you've said I think it would be better to move on than to keep trying to get back together with your ex. Your grief will end, in time. There will be an upward turn, and then there will still be bad days after that, but it will be a beginning of change. Don't worry about your daughter not understanding why things are different than they used to be, why you can't all live in the same house together. There will be time for conversations about that as she grows. Eventually it will just be all she knows, and she'll adapt. You'll find joy again. You'll find understanding and be able to forgive yourself and your ex. There is a lesson to be learned here. Pain is never gratuitous. Look for that lesson, and let the next few months redefine and refine you. Remember that the empty place you feel in your life and heart when you say goodbye to your daughter will be filled each time she returns. Be strong for her. Be strong for you. Be strong.

[Jovahutc]

What a difficult situation, and what a blessing that you have your daughter to light the path through your grief. Focus on your love for her. Focus on being a good dad. From what you've said I think it would be better to move on than to keep trying to get back together with your ex. Your grief will end, in time. There will be an upward turn, and then there will still be bad days after that, but it will be a beginning of change. Don't worry about your daughter not understanding why things are different than they used to be, why you can't all live in the same house together. There will be time for conversations about that as she grows. Eventually it will just be all she knows, and she'll adapt. You'll find joy again. You'll find understanding and be able to forgive yourself and your ex. There is a lesson to be learned here. Pain is never gratuitous. Look for that lesson, and let the next few months redefine and refine you. Remember that the empty place you feel in your life and heart when you say goodbye to your daughter will be filled each time she returns. Be strong for her. Be strong for you. Be strong.

 

Thank you so much. This is uplifting. I am going to see how it goes and try to let her go.