What in your opinion is a healthy time to take to recover from a break up?

[Dave jones192]

I was having a discussion with someone about how long it takes to get over a relationship after it ends. I know it depends on a lot things about the relationship and there is no one answer for all relationships, but it would be interesting to hear peoples opinion for general time frames for a relationship that lasted 5 years or so.

[LadyRayne]

There is no one size fits all time line.. I think it really depends on how the breakup occurred.. If it was kind of mutual or a revelation that you just weren't right together it probably worth waiting at least a few months but if you are totally blindsided by the breakup then it might take a lot longer.. Essentially what you are asking is like asking how long is a piece of string but having said that I think at least a couple of months

[missmarple]

It depends on the individual. For me, it's always been 'easy' to get over relationships..it didn't matter who ended things or how long the relationship had been...to me, it was the same after 6 months and after 6 years. Once I was certain that it was over, I moved on and never looked back...but that's how I've always been...I always cared more about the future, not the past. I can't remember any 'rebound' relationship I've had...the word is unknown to me.

Other people need more time.

[Dave jones192]

Thanks for your response lady Rayne. I did state that I am well aware that there is no one size fits all. But both myself and my friend had an opinion on a time frame where it becomes unusual to grieve aftewards. Needless yo say we disagreed and I am curious what others think

[Dave jones192]

So how long did it take you

[LadyRayne]

In my opinion if you are still grieving after 2-3 years and haven't moved on I would suggest talking to someone about it... I still think about my ex BF (I am remarried, love my husband to bits, no not want the ex back) it was just a very traumatic split and it has somehow damaged me in a way but I try not to let it interfer with my life... I haven't bothered with a therapist because apart from occupying space in my thoughts it hasn't stopped me moving on or enjoying my life with my husband

[Matt3939]

Matters on the person and circumstances. I got out of an 8 year I started dating within a month. I wanted to meet new people. My latest it's been a year. I had to get my life together. Get a new place ect. It was alot more damaging to me emotionally and has taken much longer.

[JustADude79]

In divorce class, they said it takes 50% as long as the relationship was. But that's just what the state is saying, it does vary and the circumstances of the break up are a factor.

There's really several factors that are different in each relationship that make it impossible to have a defined "get over it" time.

One relationship that lasted about 3 years took me only a couple of months to get over.

My last relationship was only two years and, now, 6 months after the break up and no contact, I am still not over it. Despite certain things, I still want her with my heart. I tried a couple of dating sites and ended up deleting my accounts because I couldn't stop thinking about her while I was on the sites. ....still can't stop thinking about her every day...

[Dave jones192]

I hear you JustaDude, I am 18 months out of a 5 year relationship I never wanted to end and I miss her every day, although its got better in the last couple of weeks, I have gone from severe depression/sadness to just acceptance and moderate sadness. This is the reason I was having this conversation, the person I was talking to thinks you should be able to move on from any relationship after a month, I said this was extremely cold and unusually short and thought an grieving for 6 months from any relationship of a decent length is healthy, I am aware my 18 months is now unhealthy, but its hard when she was really something special.