Nebraskagirl14 Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 Hey, all! My journey in a nutshell is that I was with one person with whom I share a deep connection but our relationship was just doomed from the start due to circumstances AND we ended up being quite codependent together. No one's fault. So, we broke up and I didn't allow myself to process that relationship fully before I started dating someone new. TERRIBLE MISTAKE. WILL NOT DO AGAIN - EVER! However, relationships are mirroring for us the ways in which we need to heal... It became VERY apparent to me that because of how I grew up and those relationships, my adult relationships were continuing a pattern of codependency.... this summer, I ended the dating situation with the other person and I set off on a journey to truly heal these parts of myself that have stayed with me up until my 37th year of life. I am a mature, loving, successful, emotionally available and level-headed woman and yet, my relationships have been showing me a side of me that has needed major healing. Two things that have brought huge change into my life have been the book "Facing Love Addiction" by Pia Mellody (recommended to me by my amazing therapist) as well as starting hypnotherapy. When I thought of hypnotherapy, all I could think of is the hypnosis show in college where some kid was inevitably running around the stage, squawking like a chicken... but it is not that... I needed my unconscious mind to release the emotional baggage that I had been holding onto for dear life before my relationships could change... My point is that, for me, my relationship issues have been about ME... as long as I am codependent, my partners will reflect that. My final hypnotherapy session was groundbreaking for me... I know that I can be single which I am and which I should be right now... and I know I can also get back together with my ex which everyone in the world would say is mistake but is tempting.. not because I want yet another codependent relationship... but because I am so different than I was 6 months ago and I know that no matter which decision I make, it's not about her. It's about me and my continued spiritual and emotional growth. It's always about me and when it's always about me, I'm not going to get it wrong as long as I'm focused on me and my growth. To progress rather than stay stuck.... Your healing starts when you make this shift to realize it's not about them. It's about you. And when you realize that everything is working out for you and you can't get it wrong. If your ex is gone... you're going to thrive. If your ex comes back, you're going to ultimately thrive whether you stay together or not. As long as you keep learning and healing and growing, you can't get it wrong and your journey will ultimately lead you to a beautiful place - because it's not about THEM. It's about YOU. Start there. The rest will fall into place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 - because it's not about THEM. It's about YOU That's why my posting style often appears to be focused on the Opening poster rather then what the opening poster's partner has been doing or not doing to her/him. It's nice to read you're getting it, SoulSister. Best to you on your journey of acceptance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nebraskagirl14 Posted August 19, 2016 Author Share Posted August 19, 2016 Thanks, TwT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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