Self esteem at all time low after cheating partner.

[Rollo16]

Long story kinda short was with my ex for 1 year we broke up about 5 months ago within 2 weeks he is dating a girl who has always had a small presence in his life (I thought she was just an old friend as I had trust back then) It had also come to light that he had cheated on me all through the relationship with about 2 different women. He still tries to speak to me and continues to lie about these things.

Now him and this girl are in a full blown relationship playing happy families and posting "happy" photos meanwhile I am left to pick up shattered pieces of my life and self confidence with nobody to confide in.

 

I can honestly say I am over him , I don't want him back nor do I still love him as I have seen what a snake he is. What can I do to repair myself? I do want somebody I can build a life with and share everything with but every time I date someone my insecurities rise to the surface and I find faults and therefore back away from any new budding relationship.

 

It is really getting me down and yesterday my ex has been trying to remain "friends" with me and asking questions about me life etc. This had brought me down yet again and I just don't know what to do. I constantly put myself down and imagine I am not good enough for any of the guys I date and they will find better and eventually leave me. Please Help.

[gebaird]

Looking at photos of your ex and his new GF will NOT help your healing process. Neither will continuing to talk to him. Cut the cord and get some counseling for your insecurities and self-esteem issues. You've been through an emotionally traumatic experience and it takes time to recover from something like that. Don't let a cheating ex define your worth.

[Wiseman2]

No No No...Why are you even talking to this guy and entertaining his BS?

 

You need to go no contact and block him. He cheated, lied and dumped you...he does not deserve to be your friend.

He still tries to speak to me and continues to lie about these things. It is really getting me down and yesterday my ex has been trying to remain "friends" with me and asking questions about me life etc.

[Matt3939]

This guy cheated multiple times its done. It's not easy and I feel your pain. When you say rebuild. Get yourself in a good place. I've been working at this for about a year. Try to have some goals other then relationships. Once you are ready to date again realize people aren't your ex's. Everyone is different and everyone doesn't do the same things. Good luck

[DancingFool]

First of all stop talking to him and block him from all social media.

 

Second, realize that cheaters are master liars and manipulators. Sure it may look like they have that rosy relationship, but let's be real here, he probably has a few side chics going and is cheating on this girl just as well.

 

Finally, understand that cheaters cheat. It's about them, their ego, themselves, their pleasure, their adrenaline rush. They don't give a carp who they hurt and who they use so long as it satisfies them. Cheating is never about you and what you have to offer. A cheater can be with the greatest person in the world, the most perfect person in the world who gives the cheater the world on a platter.....and.....they'll still cheat. It's who they are.

 

Basically a way to look at it is that yes, sometimes you might cross paths with a person like that, you might even be unfortunate enough to end up dating them. It happens. However, the only way to deal with them is the moment you find out about that, you delete them from your life with extreme prejudice and move on. A person like that is not worthy of you and not worth another thought. Realize also, that most men are not cheaters, so odds of finding another one are not that great. Do not carry baggage forward and give the next guy a clean slate. The only thing you want to take away from your past are any potential warning signs and red flags that you might have ignored.

[gebaird]

... delete them from your life with extreme prejudice ...

 

This statement is PERFECT!

[ParisPaulette]

If you want your self-esteem back, if you want YOU back, you cut this guy out of your life altogether and let him stop feeding you his slow-drip poison.

 

Then you go find something, anything, I don't care what it is or how big or little, that you always have wanted to do and you go do it. And you kick its proverbial tail and you find yourself again. And you mentally give this guy the finger as soon as you do that then continue on your merry way a bit wiser, a bit sadder maybe, but a whole lot tougher and happier than he ever made you.

 

For me it was swimming with the sharks, literally, once. Climbing a mountain another time. Put ink to paper to create for a third.

 

I can pretty much honestly say to every guy out there that ever hurt me in one way or another thank you, because I have done so many things I'd never have been pushed to do otherwise just to get over them.

 

So drop 'em, and go do something nice for yourself that has nothing to do with him, for him, about him or in any way shape or form dependent on someone else to make you happy. That's your job.