Ex reached out for my help, I'm not sure how to react

[SourPatch]

My Exgirlfriend and I broke up about a month ago. I think I handled it well. I was upset, but I controlled myself and didn't completely lose control. I've been doing the NC for about a month now.

 

Yesterday, she reached out to me because she said that she needed our old landlords phone number. It was a very generic message, which lacked emotion. I sent her the phone number, that's it, after a few hours because I was out with people and really didn't want to sour my mood. She said it had something to do with them discovering the cat that she had gotten, even though our old apartment doesn't allow for cats. Short story, the landlord was a old client of my from a previous position, and we developed a kind of friendship. Hence how we got the apartment in the first place. Her response to that, "Thanks!". I did respond after that.

 

Come today she sends me this message - "Is this Phil's number (the landlord) because when I called it was just the apartment complex. I'd like to talk to him because I had a rental car for this week and they towed it last night."

 

What? First it was about the cat.. and now it is about her car being towed. I don't know... I am probably reading too much into it. I just don't know if I should even humor this message. I know it's his personal line because I would text him all the time from it.

 

I can't help but admit that I do miss her, and there hasn't been a single day that I haven't thought about her. I just don't want to be a crutch for whatever problems she got herself into. What do I do? How do I respond? Should I even respond?

[gebaird]

I wouldn't respond and would go back to full NC. If she wants you back she should come right out and say it, not play mind games. Her problems are no longer your problem, and if you allow yourself to be pulled back in emotionally it will just make it harder to heal. Block her.

[Wiseman2]

She sounds frustrated and is looking for a special 'in' to help her.. However she can call the management about all of these issues. Ignore her, she broke up with you, she doesn't get bf benefits anymore. You gave her the number end of story. Block her.

"Is this Phil's number (the landlord) because when I called it was just the apartment complex. I'd like to talk to him because I had a rental car for this week and they towed it last night."

[DancingFool]

Just stay neutral. I'd just text back "sorry that's the only number I have for Phil." Not a word beyond that. If she asks for anything else, just decline talking to her further. Remember, when she dumped you she also lost the privilege of your friendship and support and running to her rescue now will just make you a doormat, but won't get your relationship back.

 

Basically, it's not like she is contacting you saying "hey I made a terrible mistake can you give me another chance, can we meet and talk?" She is asking for a number of an old landlord with some weird reasons for it that are really none of your business. The whole my car got towed.....assuming it's true, is kind of an a hole move trying to see if she still has enough hold over you that you will still jump to her rescue. Yuck. Just stay out of it.

[Matt3939]

Dealing with the same cap over here. She broke up with me. Super cold responses when it went down and definitely to the point. OK fine anyone who has read my other posts know how screwed up it got. Well she hit me up 2 times this week. This is how i handled it cold responces nothing has been asked relationship wise. I never had to go NC but it's looking like that's what's going to have to happen. Might be your best course of action too. Her problems are not yours anymore.

[ThatwasThen]

What do I do? How do I respond? Should I even respond?

If you want her back then you shouldn't respond to her crumbs because that's all they are or at best they are a fishing expedition to get you to take her bate. I'd text her back and tell her that's the only number you've ever had for him and leave it at that. If she wants you back she should be less sounding like she wants to use your influence and more like "wow I made a huge mistake breaking up with you, can we talk."

[SourPatch]

I thought I would give everyone a brief report on my decision, since everyone was so gracious to provide me their wisdom. I ended up responding a few hours later, saying "That's the only number I have, sorry." She responded almost immediately with "You were right, I ended up getting a hold of him! Thank you so much!" I didn't respond after that. I ended up going out later that night and posted a picture out with some coworkers, a male and female mix. I only did it because I know she is an avid social media user. I know I shouldn't do things like that... But I can't help myself.

[Wiseman2]

It looks like she did want bf privileges. Well you did the right thing. As far as social media hey...post whatever you want you're a free agent now, no matter whose feathers get ruffled. oh well.

"That's the only number I have, sorry." She responded almost immediately with "You were right, I ended up getting a hold of him! Thank you so much!" I didn't respond after that.