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Abuse, intimacy issues, friendship.....


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Wasn't sure where to put this....

Rather than get too specific on my particular issue(s) regarding friends because I'm still trying to sift through them...

I'm wondering if any of you who grew up in abusive households and are aware of intimacy issues have noticed any patterns or repeated problems in friendships?

 

Would you mind sharing or discussing?

 

Examples: cutting and running on friends, obsessing over your worthiness as a person as a result of friends rejecting you, obsessing over your part in toxic friendships, feeling down on yourself because you tend to attract people who aren't skilled/interesting/going anywhere and worrying that's who you are as a person too, judging yourself and others harshly no matter how hard you try to stop, isolating yourself from friends, helping too much, trying to be everyone's friend or make everyone your bff

 

 

This is a good summary of repeated issues I'm noticing. While my relationship with my husband is finally finally in a good and solid place (so much hard work for both of us) I find my friendships are atrocious.

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I think an abusive household leads children into having a 'wrong' perspective on life. On others, on yourself and on how things work in life.

 

My idea on how to 'fix' this, is to first come to the understanding that your parents don't know how to parent or bring proper education to their children.

 

So, if you want to 'get over it' , you will have to 'replace' their 'wrong education' with 'correct education' in order to get your derailed life or deranged ideas back on track and correlate with reality again.

 

This would take many years, and would most likely involve psychiatric help.

 

This along with reading self help books from online bookshops on abuse could really help your life to get back on track.

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Yes I agree with that. Thank you for your thoughts.

I'm interested in finding others who might have been down this road before/ are going down it to hear their experiences too since I tend to learn better in that capacity....or maybe I haven't read books that touch on that particular subject (most focus on love relationships). My therapist and I never got there because there were so many other issues to address. Ha! I am looking for a new therapist to help...no luck so far, but will keep searching.

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