Is seeing this guy a bad idea?

[WithLove]

Okay, so, I want to know everyone's opinion on this weird situation.

 

I matched with a guy on an OLD site that I recognized. I asked him a pointed question to see if it was him, and it was. He is the former boyfriend of the girl my last serious ex cheated on me with.

 

We talked about that first, each being quite surprised at reconnecting. He gave me the confirmation that he had caught them together; until today, I had just assumed he cheated on me although I never got any actual proof.

 

After that, I told him "it would be weird to keep talking, right?" and was prepared to dismiss him, but he said something like "life's weird, the past is the past" and we've been messaging each other throughout the day.

 

Is this a bad idea? Getting involved with the other person that was on the receiving end of that s*t show... I don't know. That happened 3 years ago - I'm well over it; I just never expected to run into anyone connected with that situation again.

 

Thoughts?

[Wiseman2]

Weird coincidence, but why not? Basically you two were bystanders, agree.. "life's weird the past is in the past"

I matched with a guy on an OLD site that I recognized. I asked him a pointed question to see if it was him, and it was. He is the former boyfriend of the girl my last serious ex cheated on me with.

[DancingFool]

Guess it's a case by case basis. If you feel weird about it, then it will be a bad idea. If you are fine, it's fine. If he feels weird about it, ditto. Also depends if this whole thing starts dredging up old hurts and things that should stay in the past and otherwise stirring up mud for either one of you. If not, great and have fun, if yes, just walk away.

[LadyRayne]

I don't really see a problem with it if you are both over what happened after all none of that was either of your fault but I do think it might be a bit weird to dwell on it too much... It's the past and should stay there and if you find each other compatible then it shouldn't be an issue

[Blue Ridge]

If this was a few months or even a year after, I'd suggest holding off. But three years is a lot of water under the bridge and (hopefully) neither of you are still dealing with emotions of the infidelity that once affected your lives. If it's all in the past with both of you, why not see how it goes!

[hrat791]

I don't see a problem with it, as 3 years is an excessive amount of time. Just focus on the now and not on the past, and you should be fine.

[moodindigo91]

I agree with others, it's been 3 years, I think that's ancient history by now and neither of you two had done anything wrong in the first place. Sounds like you have things in common right off the bat lol (i.e., your partners cheated on you with each other, or, more generally you have both been cheated on and had to deal with that), I say explore it. If you end up together, that's a fun story to tell when people ask how you met

[SoulTaker]

Okay, so, I want to know everyone's opinion on this weird situation.

 

I matched with a guy on an OLD site that I recognized. I asked him a pointed question to see if it was him, and it was. He is the former boyfriend of the girl my last serious ex cheated on me with.

 

We talked about that first, each being quite surprised at reconnecting. He gave me the confirmation that he had caught them together; until today, I had just assumed he cheated on me although I never got any actual proof.

 

After that, I told him "it would be weird to keep talking, right?" and was prepared to dismiss him, but he said something like "life's weird, the past is the past" and we've been messaging each other throughout the day.

 

Is this a bad idea? Getting involved with the other person that was on the receiving end of that s*t show... I don't know. That happened 3 years ago - I'm well over it; I just never expected to run into anyone connected with that situation again.

 

Thoughts?

 

It depends on what type of connection each of you have with your "ex"? If there is "NC" for both of you with the "ex", then I see no reason not to date him. But, don't let your guard down and think that he's has a connection with you over a common incident. Keep your guard up, and treat him like any other date.

[greta96]

I don't see a problem with it. If anything, it's one extra thing you two have in common.

[missmarple]

If you like the guy, give him a chance. 3 years is a long time and it is a small world.

[catfeeder]

Go for it.

[WithLove]

I think I will give it a try. 3 years is a long time to heal from that and I definitely have. I don't know if he is NC with his ex, but I certainly am with mine. Thanks everyone for your opinions! Definitely appreciated.