Introgirl Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 I'll make it short. So I have a crush on my pastors son,real Christian guy,kind,thoughtful,humble along other things. He is quiet unless you talk to him in which case he is not afraid to speak. I started to realize my feelings when I graduated from high school without letting anyone know. He was reading the newspaper and mentioned to his family I graduated in which they blessed me and congratulated me in the church to my surprise. This was kindness I'm not use to and I thought he had to really been looking in the mail because there were three other schools. After while I started asking him was he single and what type of girls he liked. He answered to my satisfaction and I ran away with embarrassment in which case he rushed to the door yelling out"don't be afraid to ask me anything okay" I took it as well maybe he is interested but then he avoided me. I dropped the feelings. But then I caught him staring at me which rekindled my thoughts. Baked him his fav dessert for his b day and same for his graduation along with a very nice gift and card along with it. He approach with a koolaid smile saying how he enjoyed everything and how nice it was. Finally we get to where I held his hand for prayer and after the amen everyone released hands but for some reason his hand felt more reluctant to let go right away this time. Maybe I'm trippin I don't know. What y'all think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Why don't you ask him to go for coffee or invite him for dinner? I started asking him was he single and what type of girls he liked. He answered to my satisfaction.Baked him his fav dessert for his b day and same for his graduation [video=youtube;TBH8o8XXnVM] ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Introgirl Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 Well I suppose I never asked because I figured as a man. He should approach first or make the gesture. Based off of now I feel like he would just turn me down In a nice way that still will leave me confused. And I liked the little video at the end hahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Introgirl Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 Why don't you ask him to go for coffee or invite him for dinner? It is indeed a very sad situation ugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Ridge Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Not sad at all! Just two people who might be interested in each other, not a thing in the world to feel sad about. Besides, it's 2016, you can ask him out too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Introgirl Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 Not sad at all! Just two people who might be interested in each other, not a thing in the world to feel sad about. Besides, it's 2016, you can ask him out too! I want to but you can understand why I am so hesitate. In a sense he seems so perfect that I can't even reach that level. And I'd hate to ask him and scared him off. I heard being too forward can also ruin thing before it begins. However you do assume that it is a possibility he is interested correct? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Do not get out-of-my-league itis. Saying hey lets' get coffee is noncommittal, friendly and will give you some answers. In a sense he seems so perfect that I can't even reach that level. And I'd hate to ask him and scared him off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Introgirl Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 Do not get out-of-my-league itis. Saying hey lets' get coffee is noncommittal, friendly and will give you some answers. I don't even like coffee lol I guess I will make a proposition however when the time is right. I have to get the courage to but I will take on that advice perhaps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hrat791 Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 I want to but you can understand why I am so hesitate. In a sense he seems so perfect that I can't even reach that level. And I'd hate to ask him and scared him off. I heard being too forward can also ruin thing before it begins. However you do assume that it is a possibility he is interested correct? I think you're having some irrational thoughts based off societal expectations. As you stated earlier, it's the "mans" job to initiate a date, or "being too forward can ruin things". I am not sure who classified a friendly gesture (asking him to grab lunch) as being too forward, but if he is scared by that, maybe he has some other issues going on. Also, women can also initiate a date, because men can be shy as well. And if both people are shy, or both are afraid of "being too forward", neither will get anywhere and what could have been a great couple has gone to waste. Go initiate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Look at it this way - if he is shy and you are shy and neither one of you ever makes the move, then you are both stuck at an impossible impasse. Also you will be stuck on wondering "what if" forever and that part sucks worse than rejection because it will haunt you for life. So, I'd work up the courage to ask him out to do something and go from there. I'd also go into it with a very firm one shot one deal type attitude. Meaning anything other than a yes is a no. So a really nice soft no is still a no, a maybe is a no and on that note I am out and moving on to greener pastures. Then again, I can't stand being stuck in limbo, which is where you are at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 You're a grown woman. You can handle rejection if it comes to it. Or you can sit here and keep letting it fester. I guess that's up to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Introgirl Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 Look at it this way - if he is shy and you are shy and neither one of you ever makes the move, then you are both stuck at an impossible impasse. Also you will be stuck on wondering "what if" forever and that part sucks worse than rejection because it will haunt you for life. So, I'd work up the courage to ask him out to do something and go from there. I'd also go into it with a very firm one shot one deal type attitude. Meaning anything other than a yes is a no. So a really nice soft no is still a no, a maybe is a no and on that note I am out and moving on to greener pastures. Then again, I can't stand being stuck in limbo, which is where you are at the moment. This is very true I agree and feel the same about the limbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Introgirl Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 I think you're having some irrational thoughts based off societal expectations. As you stated earlier, it's the "mans" job to initiate a date, or "being too forward can ruin things". I am not sure who classified a friendly gesture (asking him to grab lunch) as being too forward, but if he is scared by that, maybe he has some other issues going on. Also, women can also initiate a date, because men can be shy as well. And if both people are shy, or both are afraid of "being too forward", neither will get anywhere and what could have been a great couple has gone to waste. Go initiate! The fear is real but I suppose you are right. Initiate uuuugh but seeing him every Sunday and we'd uuuugh.......but I should initiate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 The fear is real but I suppose you are right. Initiate uuuugh but seeing him every Sunday and we'd uuuugh.......but I should initiate. So what? If he says no, you'll still be civil and polite with each other as usual. Just ask him if he is free next Saturday or something and suggest something fun to do. Either he'll say yes, or something else and then either you have something going or you've actually freed yourself from this crush and can move on. It's really a win/win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Introgirl Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 So what? If he says no, you'll still be civil and polite with each other as usual. Just ask him if he is free next Saturday or something and suggest something fun to do. Either he'll say yes, or something else and then either you have something going or you've actually freed yourself from this crush and can move on. It's really a win/win. I didn't think of it that way. Hmm indeed so just owning up and going for it will relief Mr of this issue. Thank you that helped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Introgirl Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 You're a grown woman. You can handle rejection if it comes to it. Or you can sit here and keep letting it fester. I guess that's up to you. You are right thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ControlDenied Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Fear of rejection is very real for a man, we are humans too. Nobody teaches us how to approach a woman. We run lots of risks when approaching a woman. Put yourself in his shoes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.