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Is there a chance if I try to reconcile?


Penny123

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I've posted on here before, but bit of a background.

After a 4 year relationship, my ex dumped me 3 weeks before he went travelling..he insisted that it wasn't because of that, and that it was because he hadn't thought that he was very nice to me for the last year of our relationship, and that I was 'too nice and he took advantage of that'. He said he loved me, but was too young to have a serious relationship and the commitment scared him, and that we should wait past 4 months to talk, as we had a little break last year and didn't speak for 3 months then got back together....He was crying, I was crying...it wasn't a pretty sight, but I left it with 'i hope you find whatever your looking for'.

 

Back to present day, he is currently travelling now for 8 weeks. I of course miss him like crazy, but I have ahd time to contemplate the relationship, think about what went wrong this time, and realise that I want to speak to him and try figure things out maturely. Maybe not get back together right away, as I don't think he treated me too well at the end-but I at least want to talk. He is having an amazing time out there however - I have been away for a little bit, but I don't know whether he will be missing me..I doubt it, but what do people think?

 

It is also his birthday in 2 weeks time, should I say happy birthday?

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Unfortunately on/off relationship create a lot of wear and tear. He gave a you a rather explicit reason for breaking up which is he doesn't want to be tied down to a relationship, there is really nothing to elaborate on.

 

He is not stringing you along, he ended it with a specific reasoning, so there is nothing to 'figure out', no less discuss. It sounds more like you want to plead for him to come back.

 

It may be best to remain no contact and wait for him to contact you. To be honest, there is nothing attractive about hovering around begging to 'talk things over' when he's dumped you multiple times to be free.

He said he loved me, but was too young to have a serious relationship and the commitment scared him. I have ahd time to contemplate the relationship, think about what went wrong this time, and realise that I want to speak to him and try figure things out maturely.
Same guy?
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He won't be 'offended', but if you are hoping to get him back you may be disappointed by a brief response like 'thanks'. The question really is why are you not moving on from a guy who clearly wants his freedom? He can't even miss you with your buzzing around always thinking of him or finding reasons to text,etc., right?

It is his birthday in a week- do I send a message and say happy birthday? Or not? Would he be offended?
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I guess I find it really hard to because of when he said "I'm not seeing this as a break up, more of a break"-and I have his family telling me that he still loves me etc.

I wouldn't be expecting a reply at all really-I guess i naively keep thinking that he will "grow up" and that one day we'll be able to have a relationship where he wants to be with me again I haven't spoken to him since the break up, which is why I thought saying happy birthday was good...I don't know really haha

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