pressure

[zaahid]

Hello all, well recently all my friends could talk about is how they broke there cherries. Every one except me that is my dating life has not exactly gone as planned. My first companion was to distant, my second companion was cheated on me and the third person a never really liked but my parent loved her they pressured me to date her, my friends have insulted me and teased me and left me out of thing because "my cherrie is blocking me". Recently i met a girl i liked we really hit it of, i think we both feel some type of infatuation/love we have had one date and nothing more than french kiss. My friends are bugging me to have sex with her making, and my parents who don't know what's going on feel me and my friends are untrustworthy. btw i am 23

[hrat791]

Social pressures are rather irrational and illogical, especially if it condones unprotected sex. You don't need to feel pressured into doing anything, but you need to let them know that. When my friends used to pressure me the same way, I told them I don't need to lose my virginity as fast as they do, and I didn't find it necessary at the time. For me, I wanted to find the right girl and I wanted it to mean more than just a hook up, because that's just the way I was raised and how my brain chemistry works. And I would tell them to respect that, and if they kept pressure me, I would keep telling them NO, I will go at my own pace. You can pressure me all you want, but I am not going to change because I have strong core beliefs and stances, and nothing will change that.

 

I am not sure if you value a social acceptance more than other things, but I would say that having sex at a younger age (before 30) helps for future relationships. And by that, I mean you can find out what you like, find out what girls like, find out what is most important to you and how you value sex in a relationship, etc...

 

Bottom line, don't feel pressured and stand your ground. Most parents will feel almost any 18-25 year old is untrustworthy, based on our society and how this generation acts compared to previous ones.

[Wiseman2]

That's up to her, not your friends. Don't use girls to score and impress your friends. A lot of what they brag about is probably hot air.

i met a girl i liked we really hit it of, i think we both feel some type of infatuation/love we have had one date and nothing more than french kiss. My friends are bugging me to have sex with her

Same girl?

[Matt3939]

Guys talk alot of cap so do girls. Sex is between you and your partner who cares what your friends say. Don't worry about it. Be happy you have a girl into you.

[zaahid]

nah she is the one i never really liked and she told me to run away and have sex with so i broke it of

[pippy longstocking]

I have find , no matter what age a person is , that basic two year old treatment is necessary . A child reacts by your reaction , and the bigger deal you make it , the more a child reacts .. as said , in life I have found myself treating adults the same ....no reaction ..and it soon becomes old news .

[zaahid]

Social pressures are rather irrational and illogical, especially if it condones unprotected sex. You don't need to feel pressured into doing anything, but you need to let them know that. When my friends used to pressure me the same way, I told them I don't need to lose my virginity as fast as they do, and I didn't find it necessary at the time. For me, I wanted to find the right girl and I wanted it to mean more than just a hook up, because that's just the way I was raised and how my brain chemistry works. And I would tell them to respect that, and if they kept pressure me, I would keep telling them NO, I will go at my own pace. You can pressure me all you want, but I am not going to change because I have strong core beliefs and stances, and nothing will change that.

 

I am not sure if you value a social acceptance more than other things, but I would say that having sex at a younger age (before 30) helps for future relationships. And by that, I mean you can find out what you like, find out what girls like, find out what is most important to you and how you value sex in a relationship, etc...

 

Bottom line, don't feel pressured and stand your ground. Most parents will feel almost any 18-25 year old is untrustworthy, based on our society and how this generation acts compared to previous ones.

 

i see your points on the basis of trust i felt my parents would trust me more seing as i am a collage and actually have a future ahead of me

[hrat791]

i see your points on the basis of trust i felt my parents would trust me more seing as i am a collage and actually have a future ahead of me

 

I think what you said is why your parents do not feel completely secure with you and your friends. As you said, "My parents don't know what is going on." - Maybe they SHOULD know what is going on, so they can trust you? I am not sure what kind of relationship you have with your parents, but growing up I could pretty much talk to my parents about anything at any time. The more they know about you and your friends, the more they can trust you. You don't have to give them every single detail, but at least keep them in the know.

[zaahid]

i have told my parents my mom has been very supportive telling me how to handle them my dad says a should grow some balls and have sex my om says i should get married and i feel i caused them to be on the outs

[Wiseman2]

Your folks have their opinions and that's fine, let them argue, that's fine. But it sounds like you got conflicting advice. Why not just date girls and see how that goes?

i have told my parents my mom has been very supportive telling me how to handle them my dad says a should grow some balls and have sex my om says i should get married and i feel i caused them to be on the outs