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Red flags or not, asking for sexy pics, not looking for a relationship?


Person1001

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I met a guy online, we messaged for a couple weeks and we have video chatted. He has sent shirtless pics of himself and wants some sexy (not naked pics), so I sent him some bikini photos (they are on my social media). I will not send any nudes and I'm not allowing him to send any as well, he even offered to get naked on camera if I get "lonely". He keeps asking for them. The thing is though we had another video chat and he told me he was looking for a job more then for a gf and would choose a job over having a gf. I know looking for a job is tough, but relationship and general life do not have to be mutually exclusive. I refuse to be used as entertainment w/out any strings attached. Are these red flags? I just dated a guy, who I started caring for, he ended up dropping me saying he had too much stuff going on in his life. I don't want this to be a repeat. As of now I am even debating if I want to go on date w/him because he might charm me, lead me on and then say well...I'm too busy for a relationship. I'm not going force anyone into a relationship, but I am looking for a serious relationship and I want a guy that shares that.

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Good grief! Your red flag should be that he wants nude pics! Wake up! He does not want a relationship, he wants a F*ck buddy! Any guy that respects you would not ask for these things.

 

Time to instill some boundaries and make better choices. No more bikini shots. If a guy like you, he will not ask for these types of pics.

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Yeah, I see huge red flags here. Relationships exist at multiple levels: physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. Many guys who are looking for sex offer love (genuinely or otherwise), but a guy who leads with sex is just looking for sex. Period. Call me old-fashioned, but I think physical relationships should be built on top of emotional connection. It doesn't work the other way around.

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Why this desperate search for a man, any man?

 

Just a few days ago you declared that you wanted to make things work with the long-distance guy because you "love" him (despite saying just a couple of days before that "the feelings aren't that strong"), now you are trying to make something work with a guy who wants nude photos and cam sex?

 

Do you think being single means you're a loser or something? Are you trying to fill an empty space in your life with a man?

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I could not believe that you don't see him wanting nude photos of you as a 'red flag'! He even straight up told you that finding a job is more important than having a girlfriend. Why not just stop chatting with this guy? It's too creepy for me, sorry! Than again, I wouldn't even respond to some person asking for sexy or nude photos of me online.

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Why this desperate search for a man, any man?

 

Just a few days ago you declared that you wanted to make things work with the long-distance guy because you "love" him (despite saying just a couple of days before that "the feelings aren't that strong"), now you are trying to make something work with a guy who wants nude photos and cam sex?

 

Do you think being single means you're a loser or something? Are you trying to fill an empty space in your life with a man?

 

I don't understand the desperation either. OP, you really need to work on making better choices in your life. Have you ever considered professional counseling to help you overcome these issues? I think you would benefit from it.

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I don't think you should be dating at all right now, because if you can't recognize these major, purple flags, how will you be able to recognize the more subtle ones?

Yes asking for "sexy" pics, especially before you even met, should normally be a deal breaker unless you are just looking to get laid randomly. So should be the fact that he doesn't seem to be all that interested in being in a relationship. He is trolling the dating sites for sex, and if you go meet with him he will think you're game, because nobody can be *this* naive.

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Why this desperate search for a man, any man?

 

Just a few days ago you declared that you wanted to make things work with the long-distance guy because you "love" him (despite saying just a couple of days before that "the feelings aren't that strong"), now you are trying to make something work with a guy who wants nude photos and cam sex?

 

Do you think being single means you're a loser or something? Are you trying to fill an empty space in your life with a man?

 

Exactly. Home girl needs to stop trying to catch ANY man and learn to love herself a bit.

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I find it hilarious that guys say they want to send d!c pics for when you're lonely 😂😂

Give him the flick.. He just wants to have his way and he'll be gone the next day

 

I would be tempted to tell him "Hey, listen, buddy, don't you know that MOST of the internet is full of pornography? Why beg for pics when you can make a few clicks to limitless pics of professionals? Here are some sites to get you started".

 

Oh, btw, a guy sending me such pics and/or asking for such pics from me would be an instant non-starter.

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Umm, he has flat out told you he doesn't want a relationship. He is asking for "sexy pics". He ONLY wants a "fun" buddy. I don't know how that could be any more clear. If that's what you are into then have at it.

 

If you actually want a relationship, this is not the guy.

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Are you also just looking for cybersex without a relationship? Or providing free jollies for this guy?

 

A few things. Messaging for two weeks is a red flag, you should focus on meeting. Going to video chat is a red flag you should be meeting instead. Asking for suggestive pics prior to meeting is the biggest of the red flags here.

 

Next time message a few times, then meeting should be brought up without stalling or hesitation. If there is a series of lateral moves such as messaging to texting to skyping etc. you re dealing with a catfish or unavailable person.

 

One you release any pics/videos of any kind to anyone they can go viral in a nanosecond. Doing anything even creepy stuff just to get attention, any attention is not worth it in the long run.

we messaged for a couple weeks and we have video chatted. wants some sexy so I sent him some bikini photos he even offered to get naked on camera if I get "lonely". I refuse to be used as entertainment.
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