What do you think please?

[Elliejayde]

I don't want to keep repeating myself. But I lived 2 hours away from my ex, we saw each other every other weekend, as with my work/his work it made it impossible to see each other more. He broke up with me because I was receiving messages from his ex saying they were sexting, he denies it, but with the distance, i didn't fully trust him.

 

Anyway, we've seen each other every month, maybe twice a month for the last 6 months since splitting. Spending nights together etc. When we're together it's like nothing has changed, we fall back into being a couple, he flipped out massively when he found out I'd been on a date. We'd made arrangements to see each other on 22nd-25th of this month (I left him last week after 3 days together.) But something clicked in my head when I left him. He clicks back to boyfriend mode a week before we're due to see each other, back to nicknames etc. When we are together, it's perfect, nothing has ever been that easy. He asks me to go away with him, I was talking about how I felt about something, he calls me up on it and makes me talk about it because 'I know you too well to pretend anything else'. A guy spoke to me at the bar, just to ask what my cocktail was, and he was immediately by my side asking if everything was OK. Then I leave him, the night I leave him I get 'missing you baby', 'safe drive beautiful' etc. The next day, I get 'I'm ok thx. Have a good day'.

 

Anyway, we have plans the end of next week. I know he'll contact me, I don't want 3 days once a month, then being ignored for 2 weeks! That's what clicked, we're together or we're not. I know he'll pick not, but want to carry on in this situation, because he's got the best of both worlds. He's single, can message/sext as many women as he wants, but still has me for the times he's lonely/horny! (But freaks out when I even talk to another man, he cried when he found out id been on a date!) now my question is, do I keep what's app deleted, knowing he's going to get in touch, or do I redownload it, reply, say look this isn't working for me, you don't want a relationship so you don't get me at all?! I'm just stuck!!

[wywh12]

Hi,

This is definitely a hard situation for you to be in as I presume you still have all the same feelings for him, and these probably only intensify every time he comes to visit/falls back into old routines and so on. However, with that being said, I don't think it is at all fair for you to be stuck in this situation where you're not in a relationship with him but you're not able to even speak to anyone else without him because jealous and miserable. I think it would be better for you both if this was talked about (maybe in person, but only if that's safe and you're comfortable with it), and you told him you need to end things if they're going to carry on like this - somewhere in the balance that makes no sense and is undefined.

Hope this helped, and best of luck! x

[melancholy123]

OMG it's past time to move on from this relationship that isn't really much of one. Find a local guy and one who's not using you for sex like this guy seems to be.

[lostlove76]

He's having his cake and eating it too. You're right, he's getting the best of both worlds - he gets to be single part-time, and play relationship with you part-time. It's incredibly selfish of him, and it's going to continue to be very hurtful and confusing to you. He sounds shady and untrustworthy for sure. I think you should drop him for good.

[HeartGoesOn]

I know he'll pick not, but want to carry on in this situation, because he's got the best of both worlds. He's single, can message/sext as many women as he wants, but still has me for the times he's lonely/horny!

 

Wow...What he deal he has here!

 

Since you're clearly aware of what he's doing, the question is what are you hoping to achieve by allowing him to treat you with such disrespect? It would be in your best interest to work on your self-esteem, as it's obviously hit rock bottom.

[Wiseman2]

You are single then also and have him for when you're horny, no? Don't talk about your dating life with him, you broke up. A lot of people do ex hookups because it's comfortable and easy.

 

However if it's preventing you from moving on, it may be time to pull the plug. Are you hoping to reconcile?

we've seen each other every month, maybe twice a month for the last 6 months since splitting. Spending nights together etc. When we're together it's like nothing has changed.He's single, can message/sext as many women as he wants, but still has me for the times he's lonely/horny!